Watch me Shine
by Serenitas
Summary: Usagi is not your average type of girl and she's out to show the world that the strength in her that sometimes can' t be seen...from her head to toes, her mind, body and soul, she's taking total control this time. Do NOT read if you like Rei or Chibi Usa
1. The beginning of the end

Hello all! Well as promised here is another story idea that came to me during a particularly vicious rainstorm in Japan here. May I just say that the beer here sucks? Give me good old Canadian brew anytime, but the music is great. This country is amazing and I recently discovered I can see Mt. Fuji from my front door…thank heavens I live on the 8th floor! So this is a story that I'm a bit up in the air over, so I'm going to do something I haven't done since my very first fanfiction so long ago and open up the polls… you'll see it when I get to it so stay sharp! SM not mine…Naoko's… I wonder if she takes bribes… I write based on reviews so let's get them rolling in here people! No Flames!!!! Once more I add that if you like Rei or Chibi Usa or Luna then leave now.  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi was used to the disparaging remarks and the insults. It got to the point she didn't even notice them anymore. She sighed quietly as she walked alongside her beloved Mamoru, right now feeling more like a little girl with her father than a young woman with her soon to be fiancée. She paused at an advertisement for a particularly posh University, not letting anyone know that she was already researching her future. Unfortunately the advertisement was next to a video game picture and she saw Mamoru smirking at her. "Usako, if you are a very good girl today, I might give you some money to play that game later, but come with me for now."  
  
Usagi narrowed her blue eyes at him angrily. 'You patronizing bastard,' she thought angrily as he tugged her along like he would Chibi Usa. "Mamo-chan," she began, making sure her voice sounded normal. "Why don't you go to the exhibit without me? I just remembered something I have to do."  
  
Mamoru groaned. "Usako, you need to let me educate you – you'll never have a future with manga and video games. This exhibit will be fun."  
  
Usagi had no doubt. She had been yearning to go to the Impressionists exhibit since it first came to Tokyo. Another secret she hid – a love for art. "Mamo-chan," she whined, "If I don't then I'll get in trouble and then I won't be able to…"  
  
"Ok Usako – whatever." Mamoru held up a hand, silencing her. "I should have known better than to ask you in the first place. I should've asked someone with more intelligence like Michiru, Setsuna, Ami, Rei or Chibi Usa. I won't make this mistake again."  
  
Usagi's eyes flashed angrily but she quickly suppressed it beneath a vapid grin. "Ok Mamo-chan," she chirped. "See you later then!"  
  
"I'm sure I will Usako." He sighed, rolling his eyes and releasing her hand.  
  
Usagi had to fight not to yank her hand from his grip as she turned and quickly walked away from him. Closing her eyes she breathed a sigh of relief. Now she was free to be herself…no games, no pretences…no nothing. Glancing around she quickly walked into her favourite coffee shop, ordered some tea and sat down to glance through the magazines there. "A little over your head aren't they?" an impetuous voice cut into her brief moment of peace.  
  
Usagi closed her eyes, convinced that fate was working against her and when she opened them, Rei still stood, a superior smirk on her flawless features. "Rei." She said quietly.  
  
"I never would have thought to find you in a place like this Usagi." Rei chuckled. "Trying to grow some brain cells?"  
  
"I just wanted…"  
  
"Just wanted to forget about the senshi meeting?" Rei demanded planting her hands on her hips, "Or you just wanted to shirk your responsibilities again?"  
  
"That's not why I came in." Usagi bit her lip; she would not give Rei the satisfaction…  
  
"Don't think we've forgotten about your stupidity and klutziness Usagi!" Rei burst out. "You nearly got Haruka killed!"  
  
Usagi knew it, but swore it wasn't her fault. Her limbs had rebelled against her, not letting her move the way she had to. She had fallen over her 'seemed to be too long legs' again and was unable to save her senshi and take the crippling blow that had brought Uranus out of commission for the foreseeable future. The proverbial shit had hit the fan and it was uncertain as to who was angrier over her klutzing out – Michiru, Rei or Luna. "I'm sorry Rei." She whispered for the thousandth time, feeling wretched, knowing that if she looked up she would find no sympathy in her lavender eyes.  
  
"Sorry isn't good enough this time Usagi." Rei spat, furious. "We had a meeting without you, you know? We agreed that you should no longer be leader." Rei had no intention of telling her how close that vote had been, Haruka protesting that Usagi didn't deserve this treatment. Only Rei and Luna's furious yelling had caused her to capitulate and fall silent.  
  
Usagi let her head fall back. "Fine," she said simply. "If that is what everyone wants, then that is what you shall have."  
  
Rei tried to keep the excitement off her face – finally a chance to be leader! "I will pass the message along." She turned on her heel and paused. "Oh and Usagi?"  
  
Usagi glanced at her fire senshi, hoping to keep the pain off her face. "Yes Rei?"  
  
"Don't bother coming to the study sessions anymore – they are for senshi only and you are no longer one of us. The others want nothing to do with you."  
  
Usagi felt the words sink into her soul – she had just lost her friends. "Very well," she mustered a smile throwing Rei off guard. "Glad I could give you a shot at the leader role. If you are leader I should give you the tools to make your life easier…" Usagi reached into her subspace pocket and handed her the Luna Pen and her communicator. Her hand covered her locket for a moment…the ginzuishou – her legacy not Rei's…before removing it and putting it in Rei's outstretched hand. She severed all ties to the senshi once she released the locket. "This burden belongs to you now."  
  
Rei was trembling with joy as she stared at the ginzuishou – hers at last! All that power, all that strength finally belonged to one who was worthy of it! "Goodbye Usagi. As of this moment I do not know you nor do I want to. If I see you on the street, you are a stranger to me and nothing more."  
  
"I expected nothing less from you Rei." Usagi shook her head. "Goodbye." She waited until the fire senshi left before she stood, feeling strangely empty. Trudging home, she figured she'd get some solace in her room before Luna and Chibi Usa returned from the meeting. She was still uncertain as to why Chibi Usa had returned from the future again, but all she knew was that every time that child returned she was more hostile to Usagi than ever. She was so tired of being treated like an idiot – though she pondered why people should look at her any different when she'd only ever acted like a ditz. How could she change the perception of her? She mused as she lay on her bed. 'How does one get people to alter their opinions?' Deep questions like these often coursed through her mind, surprising her with their depth – not normal questions for one who was an idiot. She heard the front door slam and knew that her peaceful time had come to an end. She wondered who exactly had come home – Shingo, her parents or Chibi Usa and Luna. "Usagi!" it was her mother.  
  
"Coming!" she yelled back, lifting herself off the bed. The grim face on her mother and father brought her up short. "Nan de?" she questioned.  
  
"Sit down Usagi," her father gestured to the couch. Not trusting his expression for a minute, she gingerly sat on the couch.  
  
"Hai? Nani o cole? Why so grim?"  
  
"Usagi," her mother sighed. "You are almost seventeen years old yet you have never held a job or contributed around the house in any way."  
  
'Fighting the forces of evil do that to a person.' Usagi thought bitterly. "I'm sorry?" she ventured, sensing it wasn't enough this time.  
  
"Usagi all you do is fight with Shingo or Chibi Usa, scream at Luna and have a leave a messy disaster behind you." Ikuko continued. "I love you to death but I can't do this anymore."  
  
Usagi felt a cold chill go down her spine. "What are you saying?" she asked slowly.  
  
Kenji looked at her with sad eyes. "If we had known when we took you in that you would be like this, we never would have brought you home."  
  
'What am I, a pet?' Usagi thought angrily. "What do you mean 'took me in?'" she demanded.  
  
"We didn't think we could have children Usagi," Ikuko confessed. "And I wanted a child so badly. We never thought Shingo would be born. The doctors suggested adoption - it sometimes stimulates the nerves and hormones in a woman causing her con conceive. In our case – it worked."  
  
"You were six months old when we adopted you – that poor woman was so sad. Strangely enough she had the same last name as we do." Kenji sad down heavily. "You are the mirror image of your real mother – down to the hairstyle."  
  
Usagi could no longer feel, her body having long since gone cold. "What was her name?"  
  
"It doesn't matter." Kenji said firmly. "She gave you up because she was dying, but we wanted you to know the truth."  
  
"Why?" Usagi could ask no other word.  
  
"With Shingo and Chibi Usa – you have to admit that it isn't fair that that angel child still lives in the attic – we have no place for you Usagi." Ikuko finished.  
  
"We have no time or money left." Kenji said firmly. "We've discussed this for a long time Usagi. Your dismal grades are cause for concern, your defiance in dating that Mamoru worrisome, you never help and stay out until all hours is tiresome. We'll give you enough money to live off of for four months – but we don't want you anymore."  
  
Usagi sat there – her world had just come crashing down around her ears. She was not who she thought she was. She had no home. "How long do I have?" she was proud she had found her voice and that it was steady.  
  
"We are not heartless of course," Kenji looked relieved that she wouldn't put up a fight. "You have two days to find an apartment an take whatever you like from us – one last time. We've already destroyed the adoption documents so legally you are no longer our burden – what a burden you are! Take whatever pictures you want as well – we do not want any reminders of you."  
  
"Keep your pictures," Usagi spat in a cold voice. "Keep your trinkets and keep your stupid house. Maybe if you knew the truth – but no – it would make no difference and I am forbidden to tell you." She stood, her head high. "Thank you for your hospitality these past years Ikuko and Kenji. Rest assured that I will not burden you further."  
  
"Usagi…" Ikuko stretched out her hand. "We can still be friends…"  
  
"Shove it." Usagi said, fury racing through her. "You've just ripped up my entire world – destroyed everything I believed in. I do not want to be friends with you." She lashed out before the tears could come and she began begging them for another chance. She had pride.  
  
"Ungrateful as always." Kenji sighed. "You may go now."  
  
Usagi kept her head up as she stormed out of the living room. Entering her room for what would be one of the last times, she pulled out her suitcases and began to pack. Grateful for subspace pockets, she decided she'd use hers to put the larger things into. Let them figure out how she got them out of the house! She'd find herself an apartment tomorrow. "They got rid of you at last eh?" a victorious voice asked from the doorway.  
  
Usagi jerked up and turned to see Shingo leaning in the doorway. "You knew?"  
  
Shingo snorted. "Of course I knew. I've always known. You are no sister of mine."  
  
"Get out." She pointed to the door.  
  
"Only because I choose to." He sauntered out the door, passing Luna and Chibi Usa.  
  
Usagi ignored them and returned to her packing – let them figure out what happened! "Usagi what form of idiocy did you do with Rei?" Luna demanded. "Giving up your locked and pen and…"  
  
"The vote doesn't lie Luna." Usagi cut the cat off. "I know you had a meeting without me, I know I am no longer leader…or even a senshi. Strangely enough I find I don't care."  
  
Chibi Usa rolled her eyes. "You baka!" she yelled. "If you did what you were told you would still be leader. You should have at least given the locket to me as it is my legacy. You can remain leader if…"  
  
"If I become a mindless puppet?" Usagi cut in. "No thanks."  
  
"You are mindless you bubble brained freak." Luna said meanly.  
  
Usagi ignored them. She could not cry…she WOULD not cry… "Go away." She said, her voice timid and weak. She was losing it…the tears were coming… "Get out now."  
  
"Oh look Luna," Chibi Usa mocked. "I think she's gonna cry."  
  
"As usual." Luna sighed. "Well I am not in the mood to have my eardrums damaged for the thousandth time – so lets go angel."  
  
Chibi Usa stuck her tongue out at Usagi as she walked out. Usagi refrained from kicking the door like she wanted to and let the tears flow. It was not a patented Usagi wail like everyone was expecting, but rather the quiet tears that come from a broken and defeated soul. There was no room left in her for noise – no room for anything but her pain. Because of who and what she was she had lost it all. She paused briefly – she had one thing left – one thing they couldn't take from her – the one thing left that loved her. She still had Mamoru.  
  
  
  
  
  
And that ends this chapter! I hope you like! This is of course and Usagi's strength one and now for the poll – should she dump Mamoru or not? What do you think? Opinions please as I am still up in the air about this! Anyway, please read and review but be kind. I write based on reviews so let's get them rolling in here! No Flames!  
  
Life in Japan – I love being ignored in stores and shoved all over the place on the train, in line and in restaurants not only because I am a foreigner but also because I am female (sarcasm alert!!)… I am supposed to know my place here – but I really don't care. I love it here anyway. The air is so smoggy though and women walk around with parasols! Because the sun is so strong. I've never seen parasols before (Except in gone with the wind)…what a place!  
  
Ja! 


	2. Are you with me or not?

Hello all! Well I finally, FINALLY did a massive overhaul on one of my webpages and I added a ton of new mp3's and just started adding galleries so check them out eh? Anyway, la vie en Japon: well let me see…the price of produce here is unreal and expensive. Out of necessity and the fact that I can't afford meat, I have become vegetarian. I am loving their noodles here though, I think because so many people eat them they are really good. You wouldn't think noodles would taste all that good, but they are, especially when you live off them and plain white rice. Anyone know how long until you get scurvy? Anyway, here is the much requested chapter 2 to 'Watch me Shine' I hope you are enjoying it as I am loving writing this one. I feel closer to this one that in my other stories, with the exception of 'Lead me not into Temptation' 'Try to resist' and 'What else can I do'. I guess these are really personal stories for me. So enough rambling and on with the story! Standard disclaimers, read and review but be kind! No flames! Lots of ideas!! Angry at Fanfic.net!!!  
  
  
  
  
Usagi debated. She pondered. She decided to keep silent. She would not tell Mamoru about being adopted or thrown out of her home. She would endure the hardship with a grace and maturity no one would have ever given her credit for. She unconsciously reached for her broach, her hand closing on air. She winced as she sighed sadly. She couldn't believe how much she missed that one little piece of jewellery. She knew full well that she had been given no choice, if she had not handed it   
over to Rei, she would have taken it by force as she had tried to do in the past, thinking Usagi had not noticed. Rei would use her ginzuishou, polluting it if you thought of it that way, trying to harness its' powers for her own and she would pay the price for turning on her Princess. It was out of Usagi's hands now, for the ginzuishou knew it's owner and it knew that the Senshi of Fire was not it's mistress. Usagi gave a small smile of satisfaction – if nothing else Rei would learn a lesson about taking things that didn't belong to her.   
  
  
The wheels of cosmic justice turned determinedly and Rei was due for judgement and punishment. Not even Usagi's most ferverent and impassioned pleas would stop what Rei had set in motion, if she had so desired to intervene. Chibi Usa remained convinced that she could wield the ginzuishou, she too would pay the price for her betrayal, if not in this time then soon in the future. Usagi didn't know why it hurt so much – her daughter had hated her from the first moment she laid eyes on her and her hatred had grown worse with age. She had openly derided Usagi for how she handled Galaxia, calling her a pure baka for not realizing Mamoru was killed sooner, then demanding to know why Usagi had had a love affair with Seiya. No amount of denial on her part could change Chibi Usa's mind on that point and Usagi knew that Mamoru privately agreed with her.   
  
  
She recognized this strangeness for what it was – Usagi didn't believe in coincidences – that there was a different power at work. She knew she was adopted – if she searched deep enough in her heart she had known the truth for years and was   
filled with a burning urge to know who her real mother was. Shingo would blurt the truth to Chibi Usa who would tell the senshi who would tell Mamoru – so in the end Usagi wouldn't have to say a word. She would let her silence speak for her. Smiling at the receptionist who greeted her, she drew in a breath. This was it, her first steps into adulthood. "I'm Tsukino Usagi and I have an appointment to view an apartment."  
  
  
"Of course Tsukino-sama." The receptionist smiled politely. "Please sit down. The landlord will be with you shortly."  
  
  
"Arigatou." Usagi stood and nervously paced the floor, hoping she had done enough research on apartment hunting – another secret she had harboured along with the Universities. She saw a small man walking towards her and steeled herself. This was her path, her future…if she had the courage to walk it. Usagi took a step forward.  
  
  
  
  
  
Luna scowled at Rei who nursed burned hands. "There must be SOME way for   
you to use that crystal!" she protested, her anger at the fire senshi bursting out of her.  
  
  
Rei shook her head angrily. "It resists every charm I've put on it and when I try to use it – my frigging hands get burned to a cinder!" she yelled at the cat. "I thought this stupid jewel was supposed to serve the leader of the senshi, and that's me!"  
  
  
"Knock it off Rei." The cat snarled, still angry at how easily Usagi had escaped her constant surveillance and moved out with alacrity.   
  
  
"Don't talk to me that way." Rei retorted. "You were the one who wanted to get rid of her, remember?"  
  
  
"Like I had to try hard to persuade you! You are nothing but a traitor to your Princess!" Luna shouted.  
  
  
  
"And you're not?" Rei curled her lip in derision at the cat. "If the other senshi find out that I can't control this stupid thing, then they will go and beg Usagi to come back. As it is they are resisting the charm I set on them making them vote against her. It was easy when they were angry at her, but they are no longer angry at her, they want her back and their wills are breaking free of my control, especially Haruka."  
  
  
"Did you truly think you could control them for long?" Chibi Usa's voice cut into the conversation. "True in the days following Haruka's accident they were more than willing to overthrow her as leader, but now they are having second thoughts on what they have done. They are starting to remember her power with or without the ginzuishou, and they are close to breaking the rule you set down about not acknowledging her at all."  
  
  
"You think you can control this thing?" Rei threw it at the pink haired child. "Then you use it. It kills Usagi every time she uses it, perhaps it can put you out of my misery."  
  
  
"You are in this just as deep as I am Rei." Chibi Usa warned with the arrogance of a preteen. "If I return to the future my mother is going to peel my hide off in strips…the honoured Usagi does after all have quite a temper on her."  
  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Luna demanded.  
  
  
"Because if I can get Mamoru to fall in love with me, then he will be mine in this time, when he's NOT my father yet, and he will be my lover. I keep returning to the future and back here to speed up my aging process. The next time I do it, I will return of an age with Hotaru – fourteen." She winked at them. "It's old enough. He will see that it is me he desires, not Usagi. Besides, if you heard how he talks to her, what he thinks of her, you'd laugh Rei. You could get him back yet."  
  
  
Rei's eyes gleamed as treachery haunted her thoughts, so dark she could hardly believe they were hers, as Chibi Usa reached for the ginzuishou to show her how it was done.  
  
  
  
  
"I think this is stupid." Minako declared. "I don't give a leaping lizards' socks damn about what Rei says, this isn't right."  
  
  
" 'Leaping lizards socks?' Haruka arched an eyebrow at her. "I would love to know where you came up with that one."  
  
  
"Don't you all agree that this isn't right?" Ami added. "How could we all have turned on her that way and voted her out?"  
  
  
"I agree it's strange, but what's done is done, and perhaps it will teach her a lesson about being a better warrior and more careful in battle." Michiru said, glancing up from her book. "Either way, it's more peaceful without her."  
  
  
Minako sighed and exchanged a glance with Ami. This just didn't feel right, but they were overruled. Falling silent, she turned back to her textbooks, missing her best friend and having this niggling feeling in the back of her skull that this was wrong.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru's jaw hung open as Usagi finished her explanation. "They threw you out?"  
  
  
Usagi nodded grimly. "Damn it all to hell yes! But I don't care about that Mamoru…I'm adopted. Everything I've ever believed in was a lie and in the end I have no family, I have nothing." Except an apartment, a place of her own, but she wouldn't tell him that yet. She had decided on the spur of the moment to tell Mamoru, to give him one last chance to redeem himself in her eyes.  
  
  
Mamoru pulled her close to him. "Usako, you have me, you know that." He paused. "I can help you find a nice little place for you to live that you can decorate as you see fit with your pink bunnies and the like."  
  
  
Usagi pulled out of his arms and looked at him; he hadn't been able to keep the condescension out of his voice. She decided to lay everything on the table – if they were going to have a future, he was either for her or against her. "I found an apartment this afternoon. I've already moved in." 'Thank the goddess for subspace pockets.' she thought for the dozenth time that day. She cleared her throat. "I've also applied for some academic scholarships to get into University." She said quietly, changing the subject.  
  
  
Mamoru blinked in surprise. "Nani?" he chuckled at the thought. "Usagi, you'll never get an academic scholarship."  
  
  
She could sense it coming, could feel it coming. "Why not?"  
  
  
"You're not smart enough Usagi." He said bluntly. "Unless they offer a course in hair, makeup or comic books, you'll never get the grades to get any scholarship unless it's to Clown College. Come on Usagi, you can find better things to do with your time." He shook his head. "The idea is ridiculous and this conversation absurd. Should I translate that for you now?" he smiled at her.   
  
  
Usagi backed away from him, blinking in shock and hurt, having expected it, but it hurt all the same hearing him finally speak the truth he kept hidden just beneath the surface. "I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I Mamoru?"  
  
  
Mamoru froze as her words sunk in. "What do you mean?"  
  
  
"Am I high or have you not been patronizing the hell out of me these past few months Mamoru? Are you blind and stupid or have you not noticed how I've changed? Are you ignorant or haven't you looked at my grades?" Usagi demanded, planting her   
hands on her hips. "Come on you brainless wind up penguin crossed with a demented platypus! What do you have to say to that you lowdown, miserable, spineless, condescending shit! Some loving fiancée and boyfriend you are!"  
  
  
Mamoru said nothing in the face of her tirade, ashamed that her comments hit home, upset that he hadn't noticed her, worried that he had generalized her too much, realizing he had long ago crossed her line of no return and was in for it, seeing her hidden temper flaring up for a good chance to flame his ass from here to the next century. "Usako…" he began, not wanting to admit that he saw her as arm candy and hadn't noticed the changes that she had undertaken for herself. He hoped to calm her before she could explode, but one look at the apoplectic look in her eyes and he knew it was fruitless. Steeling himself for the worse to come, he cursed himself for a fool.  
  
  
Usagi shook her head. "Mamoru, either you choose here and now how you are going to treat me or I walk out that door. I won't hide who I am in the shadows anymore. What you see ain't what you are getting. I am the Messiah for Goddess' sake! I defeated Galaxia and saved the world and yet I am treated like the biggest moron and idiot who ever lived. I will no longer live up to people's superficial expectations!" she drew in a breath. "And I never had an affair with Seiya so you can get that thought out of your head too you hentai, ecchi, perverted untrusting crossbred, inbred relative to a mule's ass!"  
  
  
Mamoru blinked, his mind trying to process everything Usagi had just yelled at him. He thought rapidly about what she had flung at him in her own form of condescension and he had no defence. In one moment he realized that she had changed into someone who could be his intellectual equal, in all the months he had treated her like a little girl, she had grown, she had learned and she had a glint in her eye that was 'I know more than you think I know'. She had become an enigma in front of his eyes and he hadn't noticed, thinking of other girls instead and wishing she could be like them. His face coloured in shame as he realized how he had treated her these past few weeks, patronizing her and deriding her, comparing her to the other senshi. She had taken herself and changed into someone he didn't know. Eyeing her beauty he understood that it was all he had wanted from her – her looks and she was demanding more. "You're right Usagi." He said simply.  
  
  
"So I was right?" her voice caught. "I will never be good enough for you? In one day I managed to lose the senshi, my family and you. What is there left for me?" she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm regarded as worthless." She shook her head quickly. "Do something more valuable with my time Mamoru? I'll show you how valuable Tsukino Usagi can be!" she whirled on her heel and turned to leave.  
  
  
Mamoru reached out and caught her arm. "I didn't mean it like that Usako. If anything, you are TOO good for me. You have put up with me when I was a total self righteous bastard…"  
  
  
"Damn right I have." She interjected. "I think bastard is too light a word you ass wiping, brainless, hopeless, arrogant, facetious, moronic, piece of…"  
  
  
"You've called me on it. I am proud of you, I think your changes are wonderful and I am ashamed of myself for not seeing any of them sooner." Mamoru continued, cutting off her acidic tirade, more than a little shocked at what she had called him, more than a little surprised and completely delighted. "I am looking forward to watching you show the world the strength in you that no one can see."  
  
  
Usagi lifted her chin proudly. "I'll make it on my own. I'm going for the knockout and I won't stop until I'm on top. I'm taking over so watch me shine!"  
  
  
Mamoru pulled her close, chuckling. "This is going to give me more enjoyment than anything else on earth. Let me help you Usako."  
  
  
Usagi nodded, closing her eyes. She had taken a risk in telling him, but he had met her challenge. He would help her, despite her having to rub his face in the fact that he had not noticed her. "My mind and body are strong."  
  
  
"Usako, you shine brighter than anyone on earth and I am going to take great pleasure in giving you silent support. In fact, let's make things a bit more interesting for all observers." He suggested.  
  
  
Usagi pulled back and arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm listening."  
  
  
Mamoru winked at her as he rapidly began explaining the idea which had taken shape over the last few minutes. Usagi let out a laugh as she agreed wholeheartedly. With or without Mamoru she had decided to take on the world and woe be to anyone who had ever underestimated her.   
  
  
  
  
And so endeth chapter 2! It would have been up MUCH sooner but the writing of it took time because things are really hectic here in Japan. No excuse I know, but here's a good one – fanfic.net was down for 3 weeks! How's that? Anyway, please let me know what you think, NO FLAMES please and of course review, it keeps me sane and in this tropical heat that the Japanese are quite used to, keeps me from melting. Please be kind and suggestions are always welcome! Chapter 3 will be out in a few days…I have some great ideas and of course, some new writing music!!!  
  
Ja ne! 


	3. Fate should not tempt me

Hi hi all! Sorry it's been longer than a week and Amethyst Serenity gets first dibs on slaughtering me! Sorry, sorry sorry! Deeply apologetic! Forgiveness is begged! The excuse I use today is that I CLIMBED MT.FUJI and was not near a computer up there, add to the fact that my friend and I got STRANDED on the mountain and were LOST doesn't help. I have discovered pain in muscles I didn't know I had! Anyway, enough excuses, very sorry, the next chapter for my other story will be out within 24 hours as my friend who is staying with me is a slave driver and keeps reminding me to write my chapter! Standard disclaimers, no flames. Read and review but be kind! Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi kept her chin high as she walked past her former senshi on the street, not acknowledging them when they called out to her. She was on a path that she walked on her own and she no longer had any place for them. They had made their choice and they chose Rei and Chibi Usa. Of course Usagi knew of Rei's damn charms at work and she had decided to let them run their course. They would return to her in time she knew, but she was odds as to whether or not she could take them back – having been influenced by Rei or not – if one's will was strong enough they could resist Rei – she herself had. She had decided to stop hiding who and what she was inside and she was glad of it, proud of the person she was allowing herself to be. Her grades had skyrocketed and Ms. Haruna was thrilled when Usagi told her to make them public and posted at last. She had taken personal and sadistic pleasure in seeing the other sensei's at the high school freeze when they saw her worst student abruptly become her best. Haruna-sensei was a very happy sensei now indeed.  
  
She smiled slightly as she remembered how Minako and Makoto's jaws had dropped. Ami had fainted when she saw that Usagi had beaten her for first place in the school. On occasion Usagi saw Setsuna around, observing her silently as was her way, an enigmatic smile on her face as she nodded to Usagi, gave her a silent salute and vanished on her. Taking a deep breath, she paused at the door she was about to enter. Her second step of adulthood, if she could remember all the tips Mamoru had given her. Mamoru. She shook her head, a full grin slipping onto her face as she thought of his rather devious plan he had thought up. Truly they were going to take on the world, and knowing he was her biggest fan, her strongest supporter made her feel even better.  
  
Her future had come sooner than she had expected. Mamoru had already begun a search to find out who her mother was, understanding Usagi's silent pain – her family had been torn from her as surely as his was. He had begun relating to her as an equal, as an adult and she revelled in the stunned amazement when he realized she could match him thought for thought. Clearing her mind of random thoughts, she walked up to the counter, winking at the man behind it. "May I help you?"  
  
'Courage Usagi.' She reminded herself. "My name is Tsukino Usagi and I have a job interview at 4:30 this afternoon."  
  
The waitress smiled at her. "Of course Tsukino-sama. You're early. Please come with me, the boss is waiting for you."  
  
Usagi nodded and ordered her stomach to settle down for the umpteenth time that day. Adulthood loomed and Usagi ran to embrace it, no longer afraid, no longer hiding in the shadows, no longer the spineless doormat she had been only days before.  
  
  
  
  
  
Haruka watched as Usagi entered a restaurant across the street from them, frustration lacing her features as she worried for her koneko. She stole a glance at Michiru who agreed with her now. "We were fools Michi." Haruka sighed aloud. "And now it seems it may be too late. We hurt our Princess one time too many."  
  
Michiru shook her head. "I blame myself. I overreacted so badly when you were injured, I told her things I know I shouldn't have. I am the straw that broke her back."  
  
Haruka made a slashing motion with her hand. "No Michi, you didn't drive her out. You heard what Setsuna told us about Rei and her clandestine little meeting with Usagi in the café, where she basically forced Usagi to give up her senshi items, her legacy and listened to the heap of lies she fed Usagi."  
  
"Not about the vote though." Michiru corrected.  
  
"But she didn't tell her how close that vote was. I never wanted her thrown out of the senshi." Haruka ran a hand through her short hair. "Michiru, I am afraid I am about to do something rash and impulsive."  
  
Michiru smiled as she lay a hand on Haruka's now healing arm. "I am with you 'Ruka." She nodded. "I agree with this decision."  
  
Haruka patted Michiru's hand. "Let's be traitors together beloved."  
  
"I expected nothing less Haruka." Michiru winked at her. "Let's wait for her to come out."  
  
"I expected nothing less from you Michiru." Haruka replied as she chuckled and settled down on the stone bench, feeling better than she had for days.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Minako fanned Ami who had fainted again once she had seen the ranking of everyone in the school and once again Usagi's name and average was far higher than Ami's. She bit back a grin as she remembered the choking and gasping sounds that came from Ami's mouth right before she hit the floor again, not used to being second – least of all the Usagi. Minako's eyes gleamed proudly. 'Go girl!' she thought. Her lot might be thrown in behind Rei – whosoever held the ginzuishou led the senshi after all, but that didn't stop her from mentally encouraging Usagi – though she had to be careful since Rei had let it be known that she could read minds and would not tolerate any lasting allegiance to Usagi. Rei was a harder leader than Usagi had ever been, and in many ways she was much better than Usagi had ever been, but she was distant and cold. Her leadership was authoritarian and totalitarian. They had no say, they had no opinion. Rei had let them know she didn't care what they thought or what their feelings were, whereas Usagi had always let herself be so bogged down in their feelings she had let herself be distracted from the matters at hand.  
  
Makoto glanced up from the window she had aimlessly been staring out of. "My head feels funny." She said simply, knowing Minako would know what she was saying.  
  
Minako nodded silently. All of them had felt strangely lately, as if they were fighting something that was trying to repress who they were. "We need to wait for Ami to wake up. She's not used to pitting herself against someone in academia."  
  
Makoto snorted. "You mean Usagi, don't you?"  
  
Minako glanced around, fear in her eyes. "Don't say that name too loudly Mako-chan. You know full well that we are forbidden to even speak her name."  
  
"Well she had to be thrown out for our own good. With Rei in charge I do not feel like I am going to be killed with her leading us into battle."  
  
"WHAT battles Mako-chan?" Minako arched an eyebrow at her. "There have been no battles since Usagi was thrown out, her mantle of leader stripped from her."  
  
"For the better…I think." Makoto pounded her head with the flat of her hand. "Goddess my head is so scrambled and screwed up these days. I don't know what I'm thinking anymore."  
  
Minako sighed. "I know Makoto, I know. Something is not right here. Usagi should never have been thrown out."  
  
"Oy, let's not go overboard." Makoto held up a hand, unable to fight Minako. She privately agreed with the blonde, but she dared not think it, more cowed by Rei's hidden powers than she wanted to admit.  
  
"Let's wake up Ami ok?" Minako said quickly, seeing Rei heading towards them.   
  
Makoto nodded and reached for the smelling salts, hoping to awaken the brains of the senshi. Or was she?  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi bit back a gleeful smile and she shook hands with her new boss having been told she got the job on the spot. Nodding in a mature manner she walked out of the café, unable to believe that she would now be working with Motoki and Unazuki. She became aware of the fact that she was being followed and instantly darted behind a large tree, peering around it to see who was tracking her. Not waiting for them to come into view she made a split second decision and abruptly lunged out with a carefully timed and aimed slash to the throat. "Urgh!" was the garbled sound she heard.  
  
"Who the hell are you and why are you following me?" she demanded angrily.  
  
"I yield Princess!" came a surprised and proud voice from the ground.  
  
Usagi glanced down to see that she had floored Haruka as she smiled broadly at her. "Haruka? Michiru? What are you doing following me? Shouldn't you be with your new commandant?" she sneered slightly, miffed that these two, THESE TWO of all the senshi had turned on her.  
  
"We should be, but we aren't. We are traitors to our new leader, we don't like her, she smells bad." Michiru cracked. "Our rightful place is with you, although now it seems that you don't our protection. Well done."  
  
Usagi held out a hand and pulled Haruka up. "That was beautiful koneko-chan!" she praised. "I never even suspected or saw it coming. What an excellent way to disparage someone from following you!" she knelt deeply to her. "I know that you tried your best to protect me from harm, and I know that for some reason your body didn't want to work, I could see it in your face. I don't blame you for what happened to me, it was unavoidable and when I swore Warriors Oath I knew the dangers I was taking. Yes it was one of my worst injuries but it was not your fault. You never should have tried to put yourself in the path of the blow, as I was trying to block it for you. Please forgive me for ever doubting you. I put my fate in your hands and trust your judgement."  
  
"What she said." Michiru said humbly also kneeling. "I was so afraid when I saw 'Ruka hurt that I overreacted. It is no excuse, I never should have acted in such a manner. Please forgive me as well."  
  
Usagi closed her eyes, grateful that the Goddess had brought back two of her most faithful senshi. "I forgive you, I knew you were not acting under your own will, but I wanted to see if you could break free on your own. Your sense of self is strong and never should have been tested in the first place. I welcome you back to the fold." She smiled. "Stand up please." Haruka and Michiru complied slowly, uncertain as to what their Princess had in mind. Usagi flung herself into their arms, hugging them tightly. "Oh thank the Goddess!" she said joyfully, nearly taking the breath out of Haruka who chuckled and hugged her back.  
  
"It is with you we rise and it is with you we fall." Michiru said solemly.   
  
"I take my chances." Usagi replied. "I pay my dollar and I place my bet. I don't claim to remorse or regret." She freed herself from Haruka's grip. "I should fill you in on all that I have been doing these past few days."  
  
Haruka and Michiru nodded violently, eager to hear all. Usagi noticed Setsuna out of the corner of her eye, watching the whole thing from afar, a slight smile on her face. She gestured to her right where Usagi also saw Hotaru, also smiling. The two nodded to her as they faded from sight.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru paced Usagi's apartment, marvelling at how nice she had made it look. If you had told him several weeks ago that he would be looking at Usagi as an equal, that she could have landed an apartment of her own and stylishly decorated it he would have called that person a fool and then bought them a drink for amusing him so. If you had told him that Usagi could have beaten Ami or anyone in her schoolwork he would have committed that person to the people with the butterfly nets. The door was flung open as Usagi ran inside. "I got the job Mamo-chan!" she cried out as she threw herself into his arms.  
  
"Omedeto Usako!" he congratulated her, thrilled at yet another landmark in her life.   
  
"Haruka and Michiru came back to me after I knocked Haruka down." Usagi spoke quickly. "TheyaskedforforgivenessandIgaveit,ohbutMamo-chanthereissomethinggoingonwithSetsunaandHotaru,andIcan'tbelievethatIwillbeworkingwithUnazukiandMotoki-onisanandthishasjustbeenthegreatestofalldays!"  
  
Mamoru was grateful he was fluent in Usagi-ese as he listened to her convoluted explanation of her day. He knew from experience she could go on for hours and as much as he DID want to hear what she had to say, another fact that shocked him immensely, he wanted to savour being with her more, so he did the only thing he could think of to silence her – he kissed her. He lowered his lips to hers and pulled her closely to him, marvelling that so quickly he was holding a woman not a child in his arms like had used to. Usagi instantly stopped talking and returned the kiss with an intensity that shocked and amazed him. He was amazed that she was so self secure, that she knew who she was on a level that most people never achieved. She was no longer hiding who she was or what she wanted and he supported her privately, although their agreement was to have the others think that they were fighting and on the verge of a break-up.  
  
  
Usagi wrapped her arms around Mamoru's neck as she deepened their kiss boldly, a move she never would have attempted a few weeks ago. Mamoru's tongue traced her lips as she opened her mouth to him, granting him access. He arched her back as he plundered and explored her in a way he never had before. Usagi's breath came in rapid gasps as a fire burned within her, a feeling she had never had before when Mamoru kissed her, always chaste and pure. This spoke of unbridled passion. Closing her eyes, she arched her neck back and his lips were there instantly. So this was another introduction to adulthood. What was going to happen in the privacy of her apartment where they were both consenting….  
  
  
The door crashed open. "You get your goddamn hands off her before I cut them off and beat you with them!" a furious voice hollered. "Fiancée or not I don't care!"   
  
Mamoru almost dropped Usagi, his libido rapidly reigned in as they leapt apart to see a furious Haruka standing in the doorway. "Well my danger sense was right I see!" she strode over and put herself between the two of them. "You just tell your pants it's impolite to point Mamoru!"  
  
Mamoru flushed. "What are you doing here?" Usagi gasped, still startled at her sudden appearance.  
  
"Michiru and I had a feeling you were in danger." Haruka explained grimly. "We tracked it here where I can see you have a nice apartment with a spare room in which I will be living to chaperone you."  
  
"Haruka!" Usagi protested.  
  
"I came to make sure your virtue was still intact, which it wouldn't be in another few minutes I see."  
  
"I had everything in control!"  
  
"Usagi, Usagi, Mamoru was going to take advantage of you." Haruka shook her head. "For shame Mamoru." She chided.  
  
Before Mamoru could speak, Usagi interjected. "Mamoru wasn't taking advantage of me, I was taking advantage of him!"  
  
"She could have stopped me at any time." Mamoru agreed, getting himself under control.  
  
"I came to discuss your plan with you Usagi." Haruka ignored them. "I wanted to clarify the roles Michi and I play."  
  
Usagi sighed, regretting the lost moment, but knowing Haruka was concerned about her and forgiving her…this time. "Sit on the couch Haruka, Mamoru. I will tell you the role that everyone has to play in this." She paused. "Some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate and for them I could not disagree, but I've never learned nothing from playing it safe and I say fate should not tempt me." She sat next to Mamoru who reached for her and yanked his hands back at Haruka's venomous glare.  
  
Usagi began to outline the next part of her plan, Haruka nodding approvingly with Mamoru seconding her, unable to believe that these intricate and mature plans were coming from Usagi. With Haruka keeping a watchful eye on Mamoru, she let herself glow with pride at Usagi's wisdom. This was her Princess and damned if she'd let anyone oppress her ever again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I hope you enjoyed this! I loved writing this chapter once I got it spit out, and I have some GREAT ideas for the next few chapters in this storyline! Enjoy! Memo to readers: If you ever climb Mt. Fuji please remember to wear PANTS and not SHORTS, as my friend and I learned the hard way after I got a slight case of HYPOTHERMIA! Anyway, see you in a day or so!   
  
Ja! 


	4. I take my chances

Hello all and apologize to Amethyst Serenity for making her wait! Oh man do I HATE writers block! Anyway, here is the next chapter in Watch me Shine, thanks to all who reviewed and email the death threats to hurry the hell up. You like me, you really like me! I just updated one of my webpages so please check it out. Please read and review but be kind, and to those who emailed me to tell me that what Chibi Usa wants in incestuous, I know that and I mention it in this chapter. There is a brief (very brief) romance scene in here, so if you have delicate sensibilities then skip past that paragraph. No flames. Standard disclaimers! Enjoy ne?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Minako scowled at Rei's back as she hollered at them again to speed the hell up. Usagi would never have dared speak to her friends in that manner, indeed she would have been overcome with concern, forgotten the training session and asked if they felt okay enough to continue. That was one of the many things Luna and Rei had brought up when they had the meeting to overthrow Usagi, and that was what pushed the vote through. Minako at the time agreed that Usagi was awfully spacey and ditzy and certainly got distracted easily, but hindsight being 20/20, she realized it wasn't ditziness that Usagi had, but too much concern for her friends. Re-analyzing their battles, she saw that Usagi did her best to draw the youma's attention to her, and away from her friends, uncaring if she herself got hurt so that they could rest. Cursing herself for not seeing it sooner, she and Ami had come to a reasonable conclusion as to why Usagi always tripped and fell everywhere. "Minako, hurry up, we're all going to be killed and it will be your fault you dumbass blonde!" Rei hollered at her, as Minako's concentration broke and she went tumbling over the rough and rocky ground.   
  
  
  
"Damn you Rei!" Minako yelled. "I WAS concentrating you know!"  
  
  
  
"You are just as ditzy as Usagi!" Rei planted her hands on her hips and stalked over to Minako who was painfully picking herself up. "I'm beginning to wonder if we shouldn't have voted you out when we threw out the rest of the trash!"  
  
  
Minako glared daggers at Rei. "Listen here you Shinto bitch...." she began in a hateful voice.  
  
  
"I've been doing an analysis...." Ami cut in, hoping to avoid the inevitable arguement. Rei was still seething over the fact that Haruka and Michiru had abandoned her and gone back to Usagi. Rei had sniffed and said 'Who needs them?' but all the Inners knew that it galled her. Without doing a damn thing, Usagi had reclaimed the stonger senshi.   
  
  
Makoto sighed as she listened to Ami's explanation. The friction among all of them was unbearable and questionable. It had never been there before...when Usagi was there. Usagi was the glue that bound them to each other, and once they had cast her out, they began rubbing each other the wrong way, they began to see faults with each other that before they ignored or let slide. Maybe they should ask her back...maybe...  
  
  
  
  
Usagi breathed deeply as she stood outside the café, once so eager to begin her new job, and yet it was her first day on the job and now she was far too afraid to move. In the past few weeks she had come so far, done so much, and now she was frozen. "Go on Usako." Mamoru whispered behind her.  
  
  
Grateful he had accompanied her to the café, smiling at the thought that he said he wanted to be her first customer, she shook her head. "I don't think I can do this Mamo-chan." she replied in a harsh whisper.  
  
  
"Is this any harder than anything else you'Ve overcome Usako?" Mamoru pointed out. "You lost your family and everything you believed in, you lost the leadership of your senshi and you lost your closest friends. You were thrown out of your home, your advisor turned on you, and your daughter has some kind incestuous plan in mind if what I think is true. This is nothing!"   
  
  
Usagi nodded. "You're right of course, but I can't move."  
  
  
Mamoru decided to play his trump card, not wanting to tell her this way, but knowing it was the only way to get her to move. "I have information on your real mother." he said quietly. "But I won't tell you a word until you get your ass in that café and start serving coffee like nobody's business."  
  
  
Usagi whirled and faced her boyfriend. "That's extortion." she hissed.  
  
  
"Catchy name for it." Mamoru smirked. "Usako, this is going to be one of the last times we can be in public before we put your plan into action, do you REALLY want to spend it being angry at me?" he arched an eyebrow in that sardonic look that made her want to plant a fist in his face.  
  
  
"Damn you to hell Chiba Mamoru!" Usagi stamped her foot.   
  
  
"Only if you come with me Usako, now get in there!" he gestured to the door.  
  
  
Usagi sniffed at him and stormed inside, leaving Mamoru smiling and shaking his head behind her as he followed her inside.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Motoki fought a smile as Usagi's gentle grin calmed the irate man she had just spilled coffee on and had him patting her hand and wishing her good luck. With a litte training Usagi would be a great waitress, though he knew she was destined for more. He had figured out some time ago that she was a superheroine who wore a short skirt and had legs he'd drool over if not for the fact that if her boyfriend knew he did, he'd be toothless. Surprisingly though Usagi was doing well for her first day, not the disaster Motoki had expected when he heard from his boss who he had hired. Usagi nimbly carried her tray through the throng of people, and displaying a maturity he had never seen, gracefully waited on people. She dodged the men with the groping hands, accidentally on purpose stepping on their feet or spilling water on them, and managing to calm a crowd of rowdy teenagers and sending them packing with only the gentle use of persuasion and a fist waved in their face. Yes Motoki was proud of her. Mamoru had told him the whole story behind what had happened to Usagi and Motoki had at first seethed with rage before realizing that this was the best thing for her. Her grades had skyrocketed, her hidden talents shown, her intelligence displayed for all to see, and not hidden behind a curtain of idiocy. He owed more than his life to Usagi and therefore was willing to give her all the chances she needed. She was his adopted little sister and he'd be damned if anyone would hurt her further. Resolving to talk to Minako about this whole rift between them, he winced as his sister dropped a tray and a baby began to screech.   
  
  
Setsuna caught Usagi's eye and she paused, watching her intently. Setsuna smiled enigmatically as was her custom, nodded to Hotaru standing behind Usagi and winked at Usagi. With a silent salute she raised a glass of juice of her and gave a toast to Usagi before she spun quickly on her heel and was gone, Hotaru behind her, leaving those who had seen her to wonder if they were seeing things. Was she ever really there?  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi thought that she was strong, that she could face the world alone, that she could always take the fall for someone else. She had been called weak, because she was unable to resist the slightest chance love might exist and for that she was willing to forsake it all. Usagi was convinced one could not live if they stood outside the action. There was a love that was burning deep in her soul, constantly yearning to get out of control, wanting to fly higher and higher, because she couldn't abide just standing aside. It was this gift and curse that had gotten her into trouble more times than she cared to admit, this desire that she could not supress, nor did she want to. Her first day at work ended, having gone far better than she would have thought, having shocked not only herself but Motoki. Unazuki had stood by and cheered for her with the fatality total for the day having been contained to three broken plates and one broken cup. Usagi was proud of herself. She sighed as she leaned back into the leather seats of Mamoru's car, closing her eyes as he drove her home, secretly relishing the lascivious looks he gave her in her waitress uniform. "So Usako, when do we put the next part of your plan into action?"  
  
  
Usagi sighed as she thought. "I know them well, and they can't go more than a few days without going into the café and when we see them in there next, it will be time to act." she shook her head. "Normally I hate deception, this masquerade. When this whole thing is at an end, and they learn that it's just pretend..."  
  
  
"Then it will be no more than they deserve." Mamoru said firmly.   
  
  
"They will come anyway, or Rei will." she winced.   
  
  
"Why Rei specifically?" he questioned as he turned a corner.  
  
  
"The ginzuishou returned to me." Usagi admitted. "It would not stay with her once she misused it. The ginzuishou is sentient and it knows its mistress well, the first time Rei tried to use it, it burned her, the subsequent times it has hurt her as well. Chibi Usa tried to use it but it refused to respond to her, for I had placed a warding on it. It finally returned to me. I still don't have my locket or my communicator or anything else, but I have the ginzuishou."  
  
  
"Is it not your life?" Mamoru questioned as he pulled into Usagi's parking space.  
  
  
"It is." Usagi admitted. "But then you knew that."  
  
  
Mamoru held the door open for her, walking her up. Pausing outside her door, he hugged her tightly and planted a firm kiss on her lips before releasing her. "Sleep well beloved." he murmured into her hair.  
  
  
Usagi reached for him. "Wait! You said you were going to tell me of my mother."  
  
  
Mamoru's lips arched up in a smile. "So I did."  
  
  
"Come in Mamoru." Usagi gestured to her apartment. "Haruka isn't here to kill you."  
  
  
Mamoru shook his head. "I don't think I will Usako." he closed his eyes and begged for patience. "I will tell you of your mother first thing tommorrow when I see you, but I can't come in with you."  
  
  
Usagi's eyes mirrored her hurt. "Why not Mamoru? Am I suddenly not good enough for you? Or have you regressed on your decision and are going to treat me like a child again?" she spat angrily.   
  
  
"It's not that Usako." he drew in a deep breath. "I can't be alone in your apartment with you." he looked her right in the eyes so she would know he spoke the truth. "I want you Usako, and if I am alone with you I will take you, rest assured of it. Maybe it would be rough or maybe it would be gentle, and whether you consented or not, I can't take that chance."  
  
  
Usagi's eyes were wide at his blunt admission, then they darkened to midnight blue. "I never said I wanted you to be gentle Mamo-chan." she said softly as one hand traced the outline of his face.  
  
  
"Usako, you are still discovering who you are. I can't take advantage..." he trailed off as Usagi pressed a soft hand to his lips.  
  
  
"I have known who I am for a long time Mamoru, I just hid it behind a façade of idiocy and ditziness. You want the real reason I am so clumsy? I can tell you for I have finally found out what it is, though I refuse to use it for an excuse." Usagi shook her head. "I know what I want and you are taking advantage of nothing. The one thing I'm sure of is that I want a man to stand beside me, not in front of or behind me, give me your arms that want to hold me and not own me and I will give you all the love in my heart. Be true and don't tell lies to me. I'm not looking for a fantasy, I just want what is real. You are real, your love is real, and you are here." Usagi stood back and gestured inside. "This offer won't come a second time Mamoru. Will you come in?"  
  
  
Mamoru hesitated only for a moment before a muttered "to hell with it" oath as he followed her inside and locked the door. He almost heard heard her heart beating and he swore he heard the echo of the thoughts he knew she must be thinking. She was trembling as she wondered what this moment held in store, and as he put his arms around her, he remembered that she had never been this far before. He didn't know what he was saying to her in a low and soothing voice as his hands drifted over her body and touched forbidden places. All he knew was that he had waited for so long for the chance that they were taking. She was entrusting herself to him, knowing the risk. As he tasted her kisses, keeping his passion and desire in check, not wanting to scare her. As he took the love she was giving, he could feel the tension burning in her mind, and she was wondering if tommorrow he would love her like he was loving her tonight. She had no way of knowing but this night was only going to make him love her more. He hoped that she would believe him and know that he wasn't just doing this to get into her bed.   
  
  
Usagi arched against him as her uniform fell away, as desire and passion coursed through her, the power of it more than anything the ginzuishou had ever sent through her body. His lips lowered to her throat, to her breasts and lower yet. She heard his voice chanting something reverently to her as he explored her body, as she slowly and shyly divested him of his garments and lowered her lips to his chest. He was tense and coiled, like an animal about to explode. She felt the boil building up in him and smiled a purely feminine smile as she realized she controlled that boil. This moment was reverent, was love, the look in his eyes spoke more than any words ever would. As she felt his hands on places that before only she had ever seen and touched, it was more than she could bear. She exploded. She imploded. she went to heaven on a cloud of white and returned in gentle lethargy, seeing the almost godlike grin on his face as he prepared her and him for the next part. This then was desire. This then was passion. This then was what it spoke about in the romance books she had devoured secretly, this feeling that drove a person to insanity and further for a taste...  
  
  
The door exploded inwards with shards of wood and lock flying across her living room. Usagi pulled herself out of her rapturous feeling, hearing Mamoru's curses that burned her ears. Wondering what the hell had happened, she saw Sailor Uranus standing in her doorway, her World Shaking attack held in her hands, and Sailor Neptune holding her back. "I am going to KILL you!" Haruka breathed as she lunged for Mamoru, not caring if he was naked or not.   
  
  
Mamoru yelped and dignity be damned grabbed up his clothes and hastily pulled them on while dodging Haruka who had begun chasing him around the living room. "Usagi get your clothes on." Michiru sighed as she picked up the uniform that had fallen away somewhere between the door and the couch.  
  
  
Usagi was convinced her face would never be a normal colour again as she hastily pulled her work uniform back on. "What the hell are you doing here!?" she hissed.  
  
  
"Following you." Uranus paused long enough to tell her that. "I gave Lothario there exactly ten minutes to come back out again, figuring that would be long enough to play tonsil hockey with you, but after thirty minutes when he never came down, I got suspicious so I came to check. I was right!" she seethed as she turned to Mamoru who knew when to call it quits.   
  
  
"I love you Usako! See you tomorrow!" he waved at her as he ran for his life out of the apartment.  
  
  
Usagi moaned softly and fell back on the couch. "You couldn't have waited another few minutes?" she asked plaintively.  
  
  
Haruka turned her glowering look on her Princess as Neptune inspected the destroyed door. "So much for your security deposity Usagi." she sighed.  
  
  
Usagi would have laughed it it had been anyone other than her at this very moment. Shaking her head, she lay back, knowing tomorrow she and Mamoru, Haruka and Michiru would put the next phase of her plan into action. She shook her head as she thought of her secret weapons that no one knew about. The greatest secret she had, and the ultimate trump card. She didn't understand now as she never truly had why they all had to conceal what they think and how they felt, but it would end one way or another. Her head jerked around as she paused to consider what she just felt. The youma had returned, and now they would face a new Sailor Moon. "I've crossed lines of words and wire and both have cut me deep. I have been frozen out and I've been on fire and the tears are mine to weep. I can laugh until I cry or cry until I laugh but in the end it is always me. I take my chances every chance I get." she said aloud. "I don't claim to remorse or regret." she ignored the startled look on Haruka and Michiru's faces as she closed her eyes, no transformation words needed and light engulfed her. When it faded....the true Usagi stood before them.   
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, next chapter....the truth on Usagi's real mother, the new Usagi and how about fighting that pesky little youma? Will the other senshi return to Usagi or not? What is her trump card and has anyone figured out what is up with Hotaru and Setsuna yet? Stay tuned!  
  
  
Ja! 


	5. This is me

Hello all! Yes I finally updated! It took me a few days to get this one spit out because I am going through a bit of a breakup right now and I had to get really really mad at my ex before I could write another chapter in this, a story of strength. To Amethyst Serenity and Wreath of Roses, forgive me please! Since today is my birthday (August 27) and I am now officially old (24) this is my birthday gift from me to you! Please read and review but be kind! No flames! Standard disclaimers! And to those who emailed me and told me to update more often to keep people interested, I AM doing the best I can, honest to god I am and updating when my schedule allows. Please forgive me though. Oh and Moonromance.com refuses to publish any more of my stuff, rejecting it, so it's all either here or on Lady Cosmos' website! Ok, enough rambling and on with the story!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She was a goddess, or wasn't she? Usagi who when she had last transformed was Eternal how now gone one step beyond that...into who she was meant to be. Haruka's jaw hung open as she looked at her Princess before she knelt before her, convinced that if she died in this moment, she had at least seen the most beautiful sight on the planet. Usagi had evolved once more, whether due to her change in attitude, or to evolution with the crystal, she was different and somehow they all knew that this was her final form, one step beyond where Hotaru had taken her only a short year ago. Usagi still had her wings, but her fuku had changed, it was silver and white, seemingly transparent in some places until you saw it was just reflecting the light. Her crescent moon shone with a new light, no longer the warm gold it was but rather a gentle silver, mimicing the sky. In this light Usagi's hair looked white instead of blond and the only true colour was coming fromo the crystal, lit inside with a red fire that no one had ever seen. "Shall we go?" Usagi asked in a musical voice.  
  
  
Neptune and Uranus nodded mutely, still unable to speak, able only to follow this beauty. Arriving at the scene Usagi paused as she drank in the details of this youma, fairly weak and there only to suck energy and cause a disturbance. Once she realized that this wasn't the result of a new enemy, rather the leftovers from long ago she relaxed. Skipping her speech she raised her hand and a beam of light shot out as the youma was dusted. The whole thing had taken less than a minute. Usagi smirked at Haruka and Michiru when she froze, standing ramrod straight. Turning slowly she faced the Inner Senshi, her former friends. For a moment no one spoke, only evaluated each other, then Rei finally opened her mouth. "You have something that belongs to me."  
  
  
"Forgive me if I tell you that it is mine, not yours and it never was. Haven't you learned your lesson yet?" Usagi asked with saccharine sweetness.  
  
  
  
"The ginzuishou belongs to the leader of the senshi and that is me. You were exiled from us."  
  
  
  
"Yes and you informed me that if you saw me again you would meet me a stranger and leave the same way. Well then, I am waiting for you to leave me as a stranger. You decreed that no further words would pass between us, yet we are talking now." Usagi pointed out, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms in front of her.  
  
  
  
"Wow Usagi, you look gooooooood girl!" Minako breathed as she took in Usagi's outfit.  
  
  
Rei turned and shot Venus a lethal look. Cowed, Minako fell silent and lowered her eyes to the ground. "You stole from me. I speak to you only because I wish to reclaim what is mine. You are a deceptive and manipulative brat, aren't you?"  
  
  
Usagi threw back her head and laughed contemptously. "Deception? Manipulation? Are you sure you are not speaking of yourself Rei Hino? You who filled me with lies and insults to get your way? You who demanded to have my birthright and attempt to use it as if it was your own?" she paused. "Tell me Rei, how are your hands?"  
  
  
Rei's face curled up in a snarl. "The ginzuishou is mine! Give it back!"  
  
  
"Nozomu no nara oikakete kite." (If you want me come chase me) Usagi replied blithely. "You want my crystal so much, come and get it."  
  
  
Rei stepped forward to head towards the blonde and was stopped abruptly by a voice. "Rei now is not the time. Evidently her treachery goes deeper than we thought. Not only is she clumsy and stupid and ditzy, but now she is also a liar."  
  
  
Rei sighed and nodded as Chibi Usa stepped out from the shadows. "You're right of course Chibi Usa, forgive me for presuming."  
  
  
  
Usagi faced off against her future daughter, a silent battle of wills ensued, the air crackling with tension. "Why?" Usagi asked her, the only question she ever really wanted answered from her.  
  
  
"Do you really need to ask that?" Chibi Usa spat. "If you don't know, then I won't tell you."  
  
  
"Then let me tell you." Usagi sighed. "You are in love with Mamoru, the man who will be your father. You travel to the future and back here because it speeds up your aging process and if you do it one more time you will be about fifteen years old and for you that is old enough because you have some sick and disgusting belief that if you get him here, in the past before he is your father, that he will leave me for you, not realizing that it is because of me that you exist. I wonder how your mother is doing by the way?"  
  
  
Chibi Usa's red eyes widened in shock as her entire plan was laid bare for everyone to hear. "I never said that!" she protested.  
  
  
Usagi's eyes narrowed at the girl she had tried to hard to love and give love to. "You don't have to Chibi Usa." she began, then raised a finger to her temple. "You're thinking it."  
  
  
"You can read minds!" Makoto burst out, "Just like Rei!"  
  
  
Usagi nodded imperiously then turned on her heel and walked away from her former senshi, Haruka and Uranus trotting swiftly behind her, Rei seething in utmost rage, Chibi Usa on the brink of tears and Ami, Makoto and Minako silently cheering Usagi for putting Chibi Usa into her place. Rei spun and faced them. "You are MY senshi and don't for one minute think that I don't know that you want to go to her. I WILL reclaim the ginzuishou! I have her locket and communicator still..."  
  
  
"Rei, she apparently transformed with a sheer act of will alone...do you really think that she needs the locket anymore?" Ami pointed out neutrally.  
  
  
"Don't argue with your leader!" Rei snapped. "Just do what I say and obey me! I have the power and I have the skill and I am the one who seized the reins of leader before any of you greedy and grasping little so called senshi could take it from me. I always should have been leader, and I train the future Queen, the greatest Queen, so show a little respect!"  
  
  
Minako stared wistfully in the direction that Usagi had left before closing her eyes and following Rei, her patience with her friend pushed almost to the limit.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru and Usagi stood together outside the café, about to put Phase 1 of Usagi's plan into action. The girls sat inside apparently bickering bitterly among themselves. Motoki and Unazuki had been let in on the plan so they were waiting for the show to begin. Mamoru and Usagi had agreed to act as if they had just met again, with the insults and Mamoru was to let Rei think that she still had a chance because he was going to be a cheating bastard and he wanted to hurt Usagi. "Can you come over tonight?" Usagi asked softly as she kissed him lightly and moved away.  
  
  
"Haruka would have my head along with other pertinent body parts if I did." Mamoru replied grimly.   
  
  
Usagi sighed. She loved her protector to death, but she was yearning for more and Haruka was adamant about keeping Mamoru away from her, stating firmly that he had tasted more than enough of Usagi's charms to last until she was properly married or of legal age. "I know." she drew in a deep breath. "I hope I can be convincing enough."  
  
  
Mamoru lowered his lips to her ear. "I promise you this time that when we get back to your place tonight, I will tell you the truth you so desperately want to know Usako...I WILL tell you the truth of your real mother. I couldn't believe it when I found out...it's impossible really, but it's reality."  
  
  
Usagi pondered that cryptic remark before shaking her head. "I'll think about that later. Right now I have some vengeance to mete out. I'll show them how valuable Tsukino Usagi can be!" she tossed her head. "I love you."  
  
  
Mamoru smiled. "I know, and I promise I won't take offense to anything you tell me in there."  
  
  
Usagi arched an eyebrow. "I'll remember you said that my love."  
  
  
Mamoru winked at her and gestured for her to enter. Pausing inside the doorway, he let out a loud sigh drawing the eyes of the Inner senshi and praying he could pull this off. He didn't know how he could treat her like a child and insult her now that he knew the truth of her. Closing his eyes briefly and praying for strength, he followed her short uniform and curled his lip at her. Let the games begin.  
  
  
  
  
Haruka and Michiru were shaking their heads as they heard the silent gunshot and walked towards the Inners. "This might just make me vomit." Haruka muttered to Michiru.  
  
  
"You agreed to this!" Michiru reminded her none to gently. "I wanted nothing to do with this."  
  
  
"In for a penny..." Haruka sighed. "But if it puts that vapid, ditzy, usurping, skunk headed, smelly, sulphur ridden hoe in her place then..."  
  
  
"You'd kill for Usagi and we both know it. How in the name of Neptune are you going to pull this off?" Michiru eyed her lover carefully.  
  
  
"Trust me Michi. You of all people know I have hidden talents." Haruka winked at her and straightened. "Into the belly of the beast." she said as she tossed her head.  
  
  
"And out of the demon's ass." Michiru finished.  
  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna and Hotaru watched the plans unfold with great interest. "This just keeps getting better and better." Hotaru remarked quietly. "Should we rejoin them yet?"  
  
  
Setsuna laughed softly and shook her head. "Not yet Hotaru. There are still a few more events that need to unfold before we can put OUR plans into action. This has been so wonderful to watch. I was wondering when she would be able to being her metamorphasis and was fully convinced I'd have to bring the future to the past to talk some sense into her. Once again I am guilty of underestimating her."  
  
  
Hotaru joined in Setsuna's laughter. "No more than I. She never told you what she saw inside that shell when she followed me in did she?"  
  
  
"Nor have you my dear." Setsuna reminded her. "We are driving her crazy by this silent appearing and disappearing though."  
  
  
"Will she be ready for her trials at the end of this?" Hotaru questioned.  
  
  
"I have...no doubts." Setsuna replied, turning her gaze back to the café. Hotaru joined her and they once again took up their silent vigil, an hourglass behind them slowly running out.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded at Unazuki who gestured to a table in the corner. "May I take your order please?" she asked, smiling and pulling out her pad and pen.  
  
  
"Usagi!"  
  
  
Usagi glanced up and saw her former family sitting in the table, jaws open in slack. Usagi dropped her pen as her eyes widened in shock and she was unable to say anything at all.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru glanced over at Usagi before heading to the table the senshi were at and saw her standing there in shock. "Shit!" he cursed, furious. Now she needed him to stand by her, now she needed his public strength but his hands were tied by her plan.  
  
  
  
  
Haruka looked over briefly at Usagi and saw her frozen in horror. Narrowing her eyes she saw what held Usagi spellbound. "GODDAMMIT!" she snarled. Usagi needed her and Michiru at this moment but they could do nothing because they were sworn to obey her and her plans were firm. Any wrong move now would destroy the entire façade.  
  
  
  
  
Motoki and Unazuki heard the pencil drop and stole a quick peek at Usagi. Seeing those who had disowned her, sending her world crashing down around her ears sitting in the table she was serving made Motoki see red. "*uck!" he cursed, ignoring his sister's astonished glare. He was not bound by any plans of Usagi, no orders, no promises. Preparing to head over he was pulled back by his sister.  
  
  
"Don't! Let her handle this!" Unazuki whispered frantically.   
  
  
"'Zuki...." he trailed off, his knuckles cracking.  
  
  
"Give her credit." Unazuki said softly, handing him a cup and cloth. "Clean this cup."  
  
  
Motoki took his temper out on the cup, cleaning it with a vengeance and wishing he could wrap the cloth around Tsukino Kenji's throat.  
  
  
  
  
Artemis' back arched as he took in the scene before him. He didn't agree with Luna one little bit, but he hadn't left Minako. He saw the pain etched on Usagi's features, the tears welling up in her fathomless blue eyes and sent out a prayer to the goddess that she would have strength.  
  
  
  
  
Usagi straightened her spine, willing it to be steel, yearning for a bit of the strength Mamoru and Haruka had told her she had. 'Here I am, this is me and there's no one else on earth I'd rather be.' she reminded herself. 'I'm a new person and I can do this.' she encouraged herself. She knew Haruka, Motoki and Mamoru wanted to charge to her side, but this was HER fight, an unavoidable fight that she had do on her own. Lifting her chin, she opened her mouth. "May I take your order please?"  
  
  
  
  
Well that ends this chapter! How will her former family handle this? How will Usagi handle it? What IS going on with Hotaru and Setsuna? Will her plan be successful for her senshi and her love? The next chapter will be out soon! I hope you enjoyed this one, now that I had a chance to write it! No flames! Remember I write based on reviews!  
  
  
Ja! 


	6. I have faith

Hello all! Here it is, another chapter (which I wrote on the train, the only free time I have). Not much to say except thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday last week! Thank you all so much! It meant alot to me especially since I HATE birthdays. On the upside, I have finally gotten the point across to my ex to never contact me again! I'm so happy! A special Hi and Hello to Wreath of Roses and Amethyst Serenity, who are just really really nice people. Read and review but be kind. I write based on reviews...so more! More! More I tell you! No flames please!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"May I take your order?" Usagi asked politely in a voice as cold as winters' night. For a brief moment, she didn't recognize her own voice.   
  
  
Kenji blinked in startlement a few times as Shingo and Chibi Usa smirked cruelly and Ikuko's eyes filled with tears as they took in the sight of Usagi standing proudly before them, her chin raised as her eyes burned with a blue fire that they had never seen before. The flames in her eyes both scared and confused them. For a moment she didn't appear as Usagi, but rather someone more regal. "You look wonderful." Ikuko breathed. "Can you join us?"  
  
  
  
Usagi's face softened briefly as she looked at her former mother. "Uh-uh." Shingo shook his head quickly. "I refuse to sit at the same table as that...thing."  
  
  
  
Kenji smiled indulgently at his son. "Ikuko, this is a FAMILY outing. Whoever this so-called waitress is, she is no family member of ours. I suggest you remember that in the future and not ask strangers like this to join us." he said eyeing Usagi to see if his blade drew blood.  
  
  
  
Usagi's heart wrenched but she clenched her teeth and fought back the pain as Kenji scored a hit. Damned if she'd let him see her hurt. "You bast-" a voice yelled and was abruptly cut off. OUt of the corner of her eye, Usagi saw Michiru with her hand over Haruka's mouth as she struggled to get loose. With a discreet shake of her head she frowned slightly and turned her attention back to her former family. "I am Usagi and I'll be your waitress today. Please call out when you are ready to order." she said with a forced smile and sweetness. Kenji's jaw dropped as she turned to go - no wailing, no tears, no accusations.  
  
  
  
"Who the HELL do you think you're fooling you bubble-brained ditz?" Chibi Usa burst out angrily. "You're a failure and we all know it - that's why you were thrown away like the trash you are! Look over there!" Chibi Usa pointed. "Your beloved Mamoru, he has his arms around another - your sworn rival to be exact!"  
  
  
  
Usagi cast a glance at Mamoru who was hugging Rei and whispering in her ear. Through their bond, she felt his revulsion at holding Rei and his pride at Usagi's strength. He was following her plan perfectly. "So he is." she remarked indifferently. "At least I - " she cut herself off, fearful of revealing too much in front of her former family. "Would you care for a beverage?"  
  
  
  
Ikuko's eyes glistened as her tears threatened t spill. "Can't you be a little bit nicer to us?" she pleaded. "We did so much for you."  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded. "Yes you did." she conceded. "You tore my world apart, you drew a knife through my dreams and my heart. You stripped everything from me and left me with nothing... and you expect me to be kind?" she shook her head. "I hope you choke on my kindness."  
  
  
  
"You illegitimate whelp." Kenji snarled. "You are no better than the tramp that was your mother. She didn't know who your father was. She was insane, a pure lunatic. She gave you to us since we shared the same name, pleading with us to treat you right, wondering if we were the right people to take you - like you; she was ungrateful for what we were doing. I wanted to adopt a son...not a future bitch like you. She screamed when I took you and ran after you screaming the stupid name she had named you."  
  
  
  
"I have a different name?" Usagi's eyes widened.  
  
  
  
"We gave you a good name, a proper name, but as soon as you could speak you named yourself and would answer to nothing else. We should have realized the truth then and returned you but we didn't. Foolish of us really." he shook his head. "You were nothing but a burden and a weight around our necks from the first day we took you in."  
  
  
  
The sound of a mug being broken cut through Kenji's hateful tirade. Usagi looked at the counter to see a seething Motoki being restrained by an equally furious Unazuki and it was uncertain as to whether or not they were going to hold back or charge forward and beath the living pulp out of Kenji. Haruka and Michiru's battle auras were starting to show as steam seemed to radiate off Haruka, her hands clenched and her face contorted in a truly fearful expression. The Inner Senshi's ears seemed to have grown as they openly listened. Rei and Chibi Usa shared equal looks of smugness as Usagi was put in her place. Turning back to Kenji, Usagi gulped, wiping the hurt from her eyes. Did no one want her? Was she truly that horrid and worthless a person to not deserve love from those she would have died for? Why had they thrown her out? What did she do wrong? Questions raced through her head and just as quickly the answer came to Usagi and she narrowed her eyes. "What is my real name?" she asked tenatively, praying her strength wouldn't leave her. 'Don't show weakness, don't show weakness...' she repeated over and over.  
  
  
  
"We named you Yoko." Kenji replied. "A perfectly respectable name."  
  
  
  
'And boring.' Usagi thought, wrinkling her nose. The name was not her. "What did my mother name me?"  
  
  
  
"Never you mind." Kenji snorted. "It's not your business and we won't tell you."  
  
  
  
"You're the worst excuse for a waitress I've ever seen." Chibi Usa sneered. "Papa Kenji, she has driven away my appetite. I want to leave."  
  
  
  
Kenji laid down his menu. "You're right as always sweetheart. We'll never come here again. Let's go."  
  
  
  
"The air IS foul." Shingo agreed.  
  
  
  
Single file they left the booth and walked out of her life for the second time, leaving her shattered and broken and bewildered. But most of all...she was alone.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm gonna kill him." Motoki seethed in a self-righteous rage. "I'll dip him in honey and strap him to an anthill - wait! - I'll shove him through a shredder and after he's bleeding pour salt on his wounds and then toss him in acid!"  
  
  
  
"Calm down Motoki." Unazuki attempted to soothe as she trembled in rage. "You need subtlety in planning the perfect murder."  
  
  
  
"We should go to her." Motoki started towards Usagi who had a bewildered and lost look on her face as she stared out the door where they had exited, confusion, hurt, rage and tears flitted across her flawless features and through her beautiful eyes."  
  
  
  
Unazuki continued to hold her brother back. "Wait."  
  
  
  
Usagi was aware of her audience. Tossing her head regally, she lifted her chin, picked up her pen and walked to another table.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Beautiful." Mamoru uttered at Usagi's poice and grace in the aftereffects of her former family's attack. He wanted nothing more than to shove a steel tipped rose where Kenji would feel it for the rest of his life. Rei, of course, thought he was talking of her.  
  
  
  
"I am? Thank you." she giggled. "I'm the true leader of the senshi you know." she winked at him. "I know you like powerful women and that's why you're with the lopsided, flopsy, moronic, lobotomized, overgrown and undeveloped chimpanzee that she is."  
  
  
  
"Lower your voice Rei - I don't want her to know about us just yet." Mamoru cautioned. "How I wish I wasn't with her, but for that darling Chibi Usa to be born...I must suffer her in all things." he smirked. "She'll never figure out the truth though." inwardly he cringed at his words.  
  
  
  
Minako stared at him with an open look of digust on her face. "You randy bastard. You need it so bad that you have to seek it elsewhere, not wanting to wait for Usagi? You are navel lint!"  
  
  
  
Mamoru cast his eyes to Minako and assumed a superior expression that Usagi had confessed always made her want to put her fist in his face. "I need intellectual intercourse - she cannot give it. I need a real woman - not a manga loving, klutzy, incompetent girl." he gave himself a mental slap as he tried not wince at the load of shit he fed them. They ate it up, Rei with a look of glee on her face.  
  
  
  
"How dare you - !" Minako stood, attempting to be threatening.  
  
  
  
"Besides, what do you care? You voted to exile her from the Senshi. You all mutinied on her and abandoned her. Why does how I treat her matter to you?" he asked smugly.  
  
  
  
Rei nodded adamantly. "Yes Minako, why does it matter?" she asked aloud, the fire in her eyes promising punishment for the senshi of love.   
  
  
  
Makoto pulled Minako back into the seat. "It doesn't matter. Forget about it." she said hastily as Ami nodded quickly.  
  
  
  
Rei's expression promised them that it would NOT be forgotten and that they would be punished for Minako's insolence.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Haruka smiled proudly as Usagi moved on, sighing as she glanced at Michiru. "Let's get this over with." Michiru nodded. Walking over to the table where the Inners sat, Haruka bowed deeply to Rei. "Leader, true leader, forgive us for leaving you and allow us to serve you once more. I have once more been injured by the Idiot, she is incapable of leading - it is too hard for her, it is beyond her. Please accept up back into your counsel."  
  
  
  
"How can it be too hard for her when she can transform at will?" Ami arched an eyebrow at them. "And you were her staunch supporters a few days ago."  
  
  
  
"Until the second injury." Michiru interjected quickly. "We want nothing to do with her now. Our fate lies in the hands of Rei now."  
  
  
  
Rei beamed proudly as she sat up straighter. "You WILL be chastised of course, your actions cannot go unpunished, but I accept you back. With me. Only me. No one else. The true leader. I mean to take everything from her and I have almost succeeded. You will help me plan her downfall, in fact if she trusts you still, you will take part in her downfall to prove your loyalty to me."  
  
  
"You're the leader." Michiru said through gritted teeth, pinching Haruka who was trembling with rage. They had to take their places with the cowed senshi at the table. They had to be convincing....  
  
  
  
"Yes, I am." Rei replied.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"May I take your order?" Usagi asked, running on autopilot, still reeling from the news she had gotten earlier.  
  
  
  
"I'd like a bit of time with a side order of eternity."  
  
  
  
Usagi's eyes flew up to meet the red of Setsuna's and then the deep black of Hotaru's. "What ARE you two up to?" she demanded.  
  
  
  
"It is almost time Princess." Setsuna replied in typical cryptic fashion. "You do me proud, you do us all proud. Time is racing forward at an incredible speed and I can slow it down no longer."  
  
  
  
"Do I know what you are talking about?" Usagi blinked.  
  
  
  
"Ready or not Usagi...here it comes." Hotaru added. "You've created some fascinating plans. It's almost time for you to know ours. The sands of the hourglass run out and each grain brings you closer."  
  
  
  
"Closer to what?" Usagi burst out. "Would you make sense please?"  
  
  
  
"You'll have to wait a little longer...to find out." Setsuna said quietly. Winking at Usagi, the menus dropped to the table as they vanished, leaving Usagi with endless riddles for which she had no answers.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The end of an eventful day. Usagi sighed in relief as she locked her door behind her and leaned against it, her head in her hands. Wishing she was old enough to drink, she hung her keys on the hook and began to strip her uniform off her sweaty body. Walking into her living room she flipped on the air conditioning and, partially undressed she stood in the stream of cool air that issued forth. After all that happened today, she expected no company tonight. "There's a strength and courage that lives inside of me. They tried, but they could not take that away from me." she said proudly. "They can say anything they want to say and try to bring me down, but they will not succeed, for I have faith in myself and faith in my dreams."   
  
  
  
"If you don't get dressed and soon, I'll take you here and now - Haruka be damned."  
  
  
  
Usagi's eyes flew open as she whirled to face Mamoru staring at her with hunger in his eyes. "What are you...HOW did you...?" she trailed off, uncaring.  
  
  
  
"I promised you I would tell you of you real mother." Mamoru said in a tight voice, not taking his eyes off her. Usagi felt as though she were being devoured by his gaze alone.  
  
  
  
She put her hands on her hips. "So tell me. After all the word games I've had today, spit it out Mamoru. I can take no more subterfuge."  
  
  
  
"Please Usako get more clothes on." Mamoru's fists clenched. "I can't hold back much more. You play with fire my little hellcat."  
  
  
  
  
Walking to her bedroom, Usagi's voice rang out. "I'm surprised Rei let you out of her sight." she commented as she pulled on a nightgown and came back out.  
  
  
  
Mamoru's jaw dropped as he saw Usagi's nightgown, not her usual pink bunnies or flannel. It was silken, semi-sheer and white. She had let her hair down and appeared unreal, unearthly. "Ummm...she's...she's...." he trailed off as blood abandoned his brain gleefully and rushed to other more...pertinent parts of his body.  
  
  
  
"She?" Usagi arched an eyebrow, testing his limits. How far could he be pushed? "Yes?"  
  
  
  
"She's punishing Minako, Haruka and Michiru." Mamoru squeaked out. "She wants to see me tommorrow."  
  
  
  
"So she will." Usagi agreed. "Though you will not kiss her and not consummate a damn thing with her." she warned.  
  
  
  
"Usako! Of course not!" Mamoru protested, offended by her implication.  
  
  
  
"You must be convincing of course. Now, tell me of my mother please." she patted the couch next to her, the sparkle in her eyes, the smile on her face letting him know just how much she was enjoying their game, how much she enjoyed getting close to the flame.  
  
  
  
Mamoru perched on the couch, as far from Usagi as he could get, not trusting HER. He was a man of tight control, and though it hurt he would keep his passion in check - but she - she was a temptress. A siren. A huntress. And he was the hunted. And there was no Haruka this night, nor would there be. Truly she had come far in her quest for independence. Pretending she had a suit of armour on, he opened his clenched eyes and spoke. "Your mother's name was Tsukino...."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And ain't I a stinker? This is payback to Amethyst Serenity for all the cliffhangers she leaves in her story Farewell! Don't worry, I have the next chapter almost totally finished as I wrote it on my lunch break today and it will be up as soon as I see what reviews are written and how much people want to find out the next part! Just kidding, it will be up this weekend sometime. Remember I write based on reviews, so review! Review! And NO FLAMES!  
  
Ja! 


	7. I can cry until I laugh

Hello hello hello! I would have put this up last night but I kind of went out partying with some friends and then fell asleep on the train, wound up in a place I didn't know...anyway here it is at last! Fearing the wrath of every single person who reviewed, I humbly offer my latest chapter of Watch me Shine. There is a brief love scene in here, a bit steamier than the last one so if you don't like that kind of thing please don't read that paragraph and you will miss nothing of the story. Read and review but be kind! No flames please! Standard disclaimers! (Oh and of course a howdy hi to wreath of Roses, Amethyst Serenity and CrystalDove who is back at last!)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Your mother's name was Tsukino...Serenity." Mamoru said softly. "Your true mother. Your only mother. It is impossible. It cannot be true, but it is. Somehow your mother - either by rebirth or teleportation - made it here, to this time to rejoin with your spirit and give birth to you. You are not the Moon Princess reincarnated. You are the ORIGINAL Moon Princess, born in this time and place. She, in this life - like her previous was never destined to live a full life. Lunarians have trouble living on earth, you know that. She paid her price for some sin that she committed, but lived long enough to give birth to you. Your real name is what it was a thousand years ago. Selenity. You are a pure Lunarian, a true Princess and now you know the truth of your lineage which you can trace back to the Moon Goddess herself. You know all the missing pieces of yourself now."  
  
  
  
Usagi wrapped her arms around herself. "My mother." she whispered. "I should have guessed." she paused. "In this life, in this world, I wonder what she was like." her throat closed for a moment before she spoke again. "Kenji gave me the hint, I should have picked up on it...I am the living image of my mother he said. I have always looked like her...Serenity... mother...my mother..." tears began to fall from her eyes, sorrow for the mother she had loved - would always love - no matter what time, planet or dimension. She had practically worshipped her mother, always loved and adored her. She was all she had ever really had on the Moon, and she had been ripped from her once again. Sorrow overwhelmed her for the mother she had never known, the chances she had never had.  
  
  
  
Forgetting the state of her undress, Mamoru pulled her close and let her weep, tears glistening in his own eyes. There was no sound to her tears - a pain went too deep for sound, a pain that could only be let out with tears. "Stay with me tonight." Usagi whispered.  
  
  
  
"What?" Mamoru pulled back and stared at her, shock and yearning on his face. "Usako, I can't."  
  
  
  
"Not for lovemaking Mamo-chan." Usagi explained. "For comfort. I cannot seduce you right now...I wouldn't know where to start. I cannot be alone right now. Please hold me tonight."  
  
  
  
It would be sweet torture. It would be joyous hell, but once her eyes met his, his barriers shattered. "For you Usako, I'll stay." he agreed.  
  
  
  
"I'll try to seduce you tommorrow." Usagi said with a bit of dry humour.  
  
  
  
"I have no doubts." Mamoru kissed her forehead. "You go get in bed. I'll join you shortly."  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded and headed off to her room, leaving Mamoru shaking his head behind her. "I gotta be nuts." he muttered repeatedly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Haruka scowled at Michiru as Rei's stick came across their shoulders. "How much longer Michi?" she asked in a tense voice. "How much more are we expected to take?"  
  
  
  
Minako's eyes were blue flames as she glared hatefully at her friend. "How dare you?" she hissed.  
  
  
  
"Why so upset Minako?" Haruka demanded snidely. "You chose to stay with her - remember?"  
  
  
  
"I didn't know she'd go power crazy." Minako admitted. "My mind is such a mess. Usagi shouldn't have been voted out." she winced as the stick cracked across her shoulders again.  
  
  
  
"She's always thirsted and yearned for power - both in this life and her previous one." Michiru commented. "But better to be the servant of the devil than in her path."  
  
  
  
Minako narrowed her eyes at them. Dropping her voice even lower, she spoke barely above a whisper. She could not be heard over the crackling of the fire, and the snapping of Rei's stick. Ami's face was turned away, a look of disgust on her delicate features. Makoto stood unseeing into the flames, her face expressionless, her fists clenched. Rei had a look of satisfaction on her face as she flagellated the three senshi she had forced to kneel before her. "Your defiance will not be tolerated and I must make sure that it doesn't happen again!" with a particularly vicious snap of her stick, causing all three of them to wince. "I will brook no defiance, tolerate no treason. Fear me. Follow me. Do as I say and the world will be ours - you shall reap the rewards that fall from my hands." she gloated. "I win! Know then the price you pay for your impertinent lack of vision!"  
  
  
  
"I know that you are not against Usagi at all." Minako murmured.  
  
  
  
"Are you crazed?" Haruka glared at her, shock and disbelief spread on her face. "She's - "  
  
  
  
"Your Princess." Minako finished quietly. "You forget that at times I can read hearts - not as well as Usagi but the ability is there. Right now your hearts are bursting with love and pride for Usagi. You have always been her staunchest supporters and I cannot believe that you would turn on her twice."  
  
  
  
"Be careful what you say." Michiru warned.  
  
  
  
"You were her best friends. Closer to her than all the rest." Haruka shot back. "You abandonded her."  
  
  
  
"I fell in a moment of weakness yes. That is my sin and I will pay for it. My mind is muddled - it feels like someone pulled a stick through it or something, but I know that this is wrong. I belong with Usagi."  
  
  
  
"We all do." Michiru hissed angrily. "Yet you all forgot that."  
  
  
"As did you!" Minako snarled. "Don't forget that initally you voted her out too before you went crawling back. My point is that I want you to take me to Usagi. She MUST have something up her sleeve."  
  
  
  
"How do we know that you won't do to Usagi what we are doing to Rei?" Haruka asked suspiciously.  
  
  
  
"'If I betray her or show any treason, I forfeit my life with good reason.'" Minako quoted a line from their Warriors Oath. "She is merciful but you are not. If you suspect me of duplicity then strike me down."  
  
  
  
Michiru and Haruka exchanged a glance. Abruptly Haruka nodded. "Tommorrow night."  
  
  
  
Relief spread across Minako's features as peace stole into her heart. She was able to almost completely ignore the cracking of the stick.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her scent was all around him. He was still unbelieving that he held her at night - one of his fantasies come true. She had cried herself to sleep and he could only sympathize with how she felt, having lost her beloved mother twice, having her family ripped from her in the cruellest of fashions. As she had once told him long ago, he whispered to her sleeping form. "Daijobu. Atashi no Usagi-chan no kazoku. Kore kara wa, zutto atashi no mamoru dai meru kara." (It's allright Usagi, I am your family now. I will protect you always.)  
  
  
  
Her blue eyes opened and he saw into her soul, saw her heart, saw her love, saw her determination. "Arigatou..." she murmured. "For being with me. I know that it's torture for you."  
  
  
  
"Anything for you." he replied as he realized the danger looming. She had grieved and mourned. She had let out her hurt and now the realization of the situation lay before them. They were alone. They were in her bed and all the innocence that had been in it was rapidly fading as certain things became realized. Mamoru had taken his shirt and socks off for comfort. Usagi was in a silken nightgown. They were in love and they were on fire. The flames burned in his eyes and was reflected in hers. Electricity sparked dangerously...and the air was heavy with emotions even a child could recognize.  
  
  
  
  
Lips came together desperately, almost hurting each other as hands roamed and clothes were ripped off aching and yearning bodies. Mamoru groaned at the sight of Usagi beneath him, her silver gold hair spread across the pillows, the bed and onto the floor. She gasped as she felt the proof of his desire, her eyes darkening as she lowered her lips to his chest. Fear was in her eyes but it was swept away by pulsing waves of desire. She drew back at the sight of Mamoru naked, burning it into her mind, looking as she hadn't before.  
  
  
  
His hands slid over her silken skin, to a place he had touched once before and his eyes widened as she boldly reciprocated. No Haruka tonight. No interruptions...heat rose another notch as they explored with lips and hands, able to take their time. Gasps of surprise and moans of desire filled the silence of the room and Mamoru no longer doubted that Usagi knew what she wanted. She wanted him. The huntress had caught her prey. He didn't think he could resist any longer and he knew that he couldn't have stopped HER. The pain of her mother momentarily banished as she opened her heart to her love and her desire.  
  
  
  
They stood upon the brink of ecstasy. Usagi threw her head back as she could hold no longer from his assault and let the pleasure come - but not before she brought him with her into nirvana. Collapsing against each other panting heavily, Mamoru kissed her deeply. "Are you sure?" he asked clearly.  
  
  
"Oh Goddess yes." Usagi whispered. "No interruptions this time. Haruka is not here..."  
  
  
  
"But I am."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru peered with interest at the scene before her. Who needed school when you had this!? "Hotaru don't look." setsuna ordered.  
  
  
  
"Time is getting ready to converge." Hotaru replied. "Everything stands upon the edge of a knife. We can delay no longer."  
  
  
  
"All paths lead here." Setsuna agreed. "In all my thousands of years I have only seen this once before."  
  
  
  
"When?" Hotaru asked, curiosity overwhelming her. For a moment she appeared her true age, a young teenager and not a person of silence with the power of life and death at her hands.  
  
  
  
Setsuna gave her a small smile as she looked at the hourglass - empty at last. "She has less than two days left. We MUST reveal our plans to her."  
  
  
  
"The trials - " Hotaru began.  
  
  
Setsuna shook her head. "No time." she sighed. "For us who exist in time, it is frightening to realize that time has run out."  
  
  
  
"What - " Hotaru left the question unasked, knowing the answer. Plans had been set in motion heading towards an inexorable and unseen climax.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Enough Rei."  
  
  
  
"I am not finished - "  
  
  
  
"I said enough!"  
  
  
  
Rei lowered her stick, noticing the enigmatic smile on Minako's face as she trembled. Her eyes gleamed brightly. "What are you so happy about?" she demanded.  
  
  
  
"Passion burns strongly this night." she replied. "I can feel the love, I can feel the need and I can feel the culmination. Only strong love could affect me like this."  
  
  
  
Haruka's eyes widened in horror as she realized the meaning behind Minako's words. Michiru clamped her hand on the back of her neck before she could give their game away. "What?" Rei snarled.  
  
  
  
Minako sighed. "I'm getting strong love vibes and they feel good."  
  
  
  
"Oh." Rei shook her head. "Do you repent?"  
  
  
  
"I'm very sorry." Haruka, Minako and Michiru said in unision.  
  
  
  
"I don't believe you." Rei raised her stick again.  
  
  
  
"You dare to defy me?" Chibi Usa demanded as she entered the room. "I said enough!"  
  
  
  
Rei stared sullenly at the pink haired child who had a look of satisfaction on her face. Luna knelt at her feet obediently. "You have strength, poise and dignity. You command the senshi in a way that dingbat never did." she said triumphantly.  
  
  
  
"I know." Chibi Usa replied, her eyes focusing on Haruka. "You, Uranus."  
  
  
Haruka gritted her teeth and looked homicidal. "Yes my liege?"  
  
  
  
"Baka Usagi has my birthright. She trusts you still. I want it back. She stole it." Chibi Usa ordered.  
  
  
  
"I will use the crystal!" Rei objected.  
  
  
  
"You can't Rei! But I can, and it will make me old enough to have Mamoru at last."  
  
  
  
Minako's eyes danced. "What about Helios?"  
  
  
  
"He's nothing. I want Mamoru." Chibi Usa said dismissively. "Your question me? Your Queen?"  
  
  
  
"..." Minako could say nothing without admitting that it was Usagi and Mamoru she felt and she knew that the demon...er young girl had not a chance with him.  
  
  
  
"Luna, I want her properly chastised." Chibi Usa nodded. Turning to Rei she smiled nastily. "Remember Rei that you begged for my help. The ginzuishou is mine. The senshi you lead - but I LEAD YOU. Understand?"  
  
  
  
Rei's eyes blazed hatred as she nodded reluctantly. Only mutual hatred of Usagi unnited them...and their alliance was falling apart.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna's Time Staff lay between them. "Is this a conspiracy?" Usagi burst.  
  
  
  
Setsuna shook her head, shoulders shaking from suppressed mirth. "Sorry Princess but I am here in Haruka's place to make sure your virtue remains intact - what's left of it."  
  
  
  
"Ha ha." Usagi said snidely as she looked regretfully at Mamoru and reached for her nightgown.  
  
  
  
"Uh uh." Setsuna shook her head and handed her a set of flannel pyjamas.   
  
  
  
Scowling Usagi and Mamoru dressed and followed Setsuna into Usagi's living room where she had taken the liberty of making coffee. Mamoru gratefully reached for a cup. Usagi stared into her cup, silent for a long moment. "You knew the truth of my mother, didn't you Setsuna?"  
  
  
  
Setsuna nodded. "I did."  
  
  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Usagi cried to her loyal friend. "Your silence...my mother...I never..." grief renewed itself as it welled up in Usagi and she purged her emotions for the final time.  
  
  
  
"It's time you knew it all." Setsuna sighed. "The truth of who you are and the plans I have for you." she glanced at her watch. "I'll tell you tommorrow." she said as she vanished, leaving an empty coffee cup behind her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And that is how we do that! I hope you likey! Remember I write based on reviews so let's get them going. No FLAMES!!! Good ratings! So let me know what you think so far, and trust me it gets better...and more interesting in case you are bored at this point.  
  
Ja! 


	8. I've come so far

Hello all! Sorry about the week vacation but I was in a serious, serious, serious depression and therefore was in absolutely no condition to work on this story. As you can see I have snapped out of it, made an extra long chapter in apology and wait for feedback. Thanks to all who reviewed my one shot "Runaway Train" and who offered strength and support to me when I needed it. It meant more to me than you'll ever know, and it is what really helped me shake off the depression and persevere. I have decided NOT to take down this story like I was considering, and I hope that makes many people happy. Please read and review but be kind. NO FLAMES. Good reviews and ratings please! Standard disclaimers...enjoy! Oh yes, I'm also accepting fanfic submissions on my websites if anyone wants to submit. I take anything without judgement, and all you have to do is specify which site you want it on, and if you want background music or not! So please feel free to submit!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi worked. It was all she could do to silence the tormented questions that ran through her head. She threw herself into her job and ignored the worried glances that Unazuki and Motoki threw at her. She pretended that Mamoru wasn't there as in this instant she couldn't look at him, partially embarassed for her actions last night - goodness she had thrown herself at him! and she was still uncertain if he really wanted her - but also because of the suspicions that had laced themselves through her brain. How had he found out the truth of her mother? He and Rei had once had a spark in their relationship...could he really want to go back to her? How good were his acting skills? "I'm taking over so watch me shine." she muttered to herself. "Get ready, here I come. I'm coming and hell's coming with me. I won't be a doormat anymore. Not for anybody, even the man I love...if only I knew the truth..." she trailed off as she scrubbed viciously at the table. "Out damn spot."   
  
  
  
  
"You worry for nothing."  
  
  
  
Usagi's head jerked up as she saw Hotaru sitting in the booth she was cleaning. "What do you want?"  
  
  
  
"A double chocolate and fudge sundae with sprinkles." Hotaru giggled. "I'm taking some time off from watching the galaxy go round."  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded and fetched her order. "Here you go, enjoy the good health."  
  
  
  
"Setsuna intends to come to your apartment after your shift ends to tell you all that is going on Princess." Hotaru said seriously, in between mouthfuls of ice cream. "We can delay no longer and only hope that you are strong enough for all that lays ahead."  
  
  
  
"Stop with the cryptic remarks." Usagi barked, wincing. She sounded so hateful today instead of her normal self. Truly this problem was eating her up from the inside. She couldn't even think of her own plans for the traitorous senshi, all she could do is wonder, and worry. "I'm switching my style and taking full control. I won't stop until I'm on top now."  
  
  
  
"Usagi you have nothing to worry about." Hotaru assured her. "You want to know how Mamoru learned the truth of your mother? It's simple. He called in a favour that Setsuna owed and used her Time Key to turn back time to find out the truth of your mother. He wept when he watched her give you up, he recognized her instantly. As for his feelings for Rei, you must know that there is nothing but contempt. He loves you, and as for wanting you, you wouldn't believe the amount of cold showers the poor man has had to take on your account. Enough with the worries, for they belong to the old you, and you have become so much more. Do not diminsh now, not at this crucial junction Princess. Feel the flame forever burn, teaching lessons you have to learn to bring you closer to the strength of your dreams."   
  
  
  
Usagi's jaw hung open, never having heard Hotaru talk to so much at once before. 'Your mind will take you far, the rest is just your heart.' she thought to herself. She smiled and nodded. "You're right Hotaru, I was being foolish. I will shine ever brighter, not just for what will be, but also for myself." she paused. "No one thinks I can take it but my mind and body are strong, no one thinks I can make it."  
  
  
  
"How do you know what will be?" Hotaru asked suspiciously.  
  
  
  
Usagi winked at her, an 'I know more than you think I know' glint in her eyes. "I know many things you don't think I do Hotaru." she glanced at the remnants of the sundae. "Finished now?" she turned to her over her shoulder. "Watch me shine Hotaru."  
  
  
Hotaru nodded, eyeing Usagi in admiration. She respected Usagi more than words could say, the only one who lived who's power matched hers and then outdid her. She had a restless spirit that was hard to control. Usagi heard the call of the wild every once in awhile when she would let down her hair and not let herself get bogged down by the requirements of her title. Hotaru prayed she would keep this ability after the truth was revealed to her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You will take me to Usagi tonight?" Minako breathed to Haruka and Michiru as they did pushups with weights on their backs (A.N - My sensei's make us do that and all I can say after 200 of them is DAMN! 600 is my limit for pushups...). They were of course still being punished and worked out under the watchful and deceitful eyes of Luna.  
  
  
  
Haruka grunted, her rage palpable. She strongly advocated throttling Chibi Usa and ripping Rei's arms off and beating her to death with them, and dipping Luna in a flea dip of boiling oil or acid. She didn't care.   
  
  
  
Michiru sighed and decided to translate, for she alone could hear the muttered oaths that Haruka uttered and not one of them was anything a lady should be uttering. "Yes we will, now shut up." she snapped.  
  
  
  
Minako sighed in relief as she continued to do push ups, her arms shaking. Dropping to her knees to do female push ups, she yelped when Luna bit her. Resisting the urge to smack the cat from here to next month, she went back to trying to do them the way Haruka and Michiru were. "Enough." a voice told them. Smiling gratefully, she collapsed in an ungraceful heap on the dirt, not noticing that it flew all over her sweat streaked face and clung making her look like the creature from the black lagoon. Haruka didn't look any better and was hiding her irritation poorly.   
  
  
  
Rei and Chibi Usa walked into focus as Minako tried to raise herself into the mandatory kneeling position when facing their leader and their Queen but her arms screamed in protest and she face planted onto the ground again. "Venus if you can't kneel in obesiance now then it will have to be ground out you." Rei snapped. "Now assume the position!"  
  
  
  
"You first." Haruka muttered snidely. "You miserable, black hearted, crow screwing, doujinshi reading...." she trailed off when Michiru's elbow jabbed her in the side.   
  
  
  
Once they all forced themselves to kneel, Chibi Usa smiled triumphantly. "Now Haruka and Michiru and Minako, my two little traitors and the defiant one, I hope you realize by now that I will beat all resistance out of you. I will brook no independent thoughts on your part, and the more you fight the more I WILL hurt you. Usagi trusts you still, and since Rei and I have an appointment with Mamoru tonight I want you three to go to Usagi on the premise of trying to get her to forgive Minako and steal her crystal and kill her."  
  
  
  
"But if she's killed then you...." Michiru began.  
  
  
  
"I have it already planned out." Chibi Usa assured them. "Rei is to be my mother, I have figured out how but I need my crystal back. She stole it and I don't know how and I want it back. The rotten and selfish bitch doesn't realize that her time is finished and now it's my time. THe more she fights the less chance she has for my mercy."  
  
  
  
"You are so deluded you little brat." Haruka sneered. "Do you really think that you can even grasp the power that she toys with?"  
  
  
"You stride dangerously close to treason Uranus." Rei said through slitted eyes as she kicked her firmly in the stomach causing her to double over. "Show us some respect. Besides, despite the power that is inherent in Usagi, she has neither the wits nor the ability to use it, whereas Chibi Usa does. You will pay for your defiance."  
  
  
  
Haruka was nearly at the end of her rope, but she bit back her rage. Usagi had a plan and when Rei got hers like Usagi had mapped out then Haruka was going to take great and sadistic pleasure in being the leader. "I apologize." she ground out.  
  
  
  
"Better. Now as her Majesty mentioned my lover is coming over tonight and I will possess him once and for all in all ways that one can possess a man, you will act since Usagi thinks that Mamoru will be with Motoki or something - she's too stupid to think anything else of her 'Mamo-chan'. I will take back what is mine and strip everything from her until she is left with nothing. I told you this before. If you are not with us, then you are against us." Rei sighed as she tossed her hair over her shoulder.   
  
  
"Remember Rei I only allow you to have Mamoru this night only to conceive...and then he will be mine, now and forever and for eternity." Chibi Usa corrected. "Get that through your head. You cannot defeat me, you cannot fight me and I see your mind. Don't try to double cross me like you did that baka Usagi. I am far smarter than she will ever be. Now you have your assignment. Do it and don't fail me for the price of failure is high."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Makoto and Ami listened as Chibi Usa and Rei gave orders. "This is ridiculous." Ami said after a long silence. "They're insane."  
  
  
"They are jealous, but no matter how you slice it, Rei is a better leader than Usagi ever was." Makoto pointed out.   
  
  
"Is she? I do not think so." Ami shook her head. "Usagi is smarter than we ever gave her credit for, and obviously more cunning. Do you really think that Michiru and Haruka, two people more devoted to Usagi have not yet been born, have suddenly come back to this communistic commune to face physical punishment without meting out some of their own?"  
  
  
"In normal language Ami!" Makoto protested.  
  
  
  
"Do you really think that they'd betray her again?" Ami sighed. "They are too loyal to Usagi and they would never let anyone beat them without retaliating."  
  
  
"I don't like what has become of the senshi, but this is the side that seems to be winning." Makoto admitted. "I don't know what to do...or do I?"  
  
  
"We know what we have to do Makoto, the question is...how are we going to?" Ami put her hand on Makoto's shoulder. "We have to be strong...and we have to be there for Usagi."  
  
  
  
"How do we do this Ami?" Makoto whispered, her fear of Rei the only thing that kept her in line.  
  
  
"Always remember that Usagi is stronger than Rei and she will always forgive us." Ami reassured her.  
  
  
"The old Usagi might've, but this new Usagi...I doubt she will. We betrayed her and then we abandoned her. I wouldn't be so forgiving."  
  
  
"We have to take our chances Makoto. She has become more than we ever thought she would, and we belong at her side, not here with Rei. Our minds are clear for the first time in a long time and we both agree that what we have done is wrong. So let's rectify it and make it right."  
  
  
Makoto nodded slowly, more grateful that the sludge that seemed to live inside her brain for so long was gone than for anything else. For once she was thinking clearly, and her choices were once again her own.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi sighed in relief as she stepped out of the shower and put on clean clothes. She enjoyed her job, but after working a long shift she always felt so grubby that it was a relief to wash the dirt off. Ah the joy of working during a school break, of course if she wanted she could complete school within a month and head off to University, but her true intelligence, the true depths of it she kept hidden, not ready to share that secret just yet. Mamoru was reclining in one of her chairs reading a book that she had left lying around, surprising him with its depth, but he had learned to no longer be surprised by anything Usagi did. She was the eternal hidden engimatic dragon, and he was crazy in love with her. She kissed him gently and then headed for the kitchen, trying to get her mind off the fact that Setsuna was finally, FINALLY going to tell her what she had up her sleeves. "The time of the....gerbil draws nigh." echoed through her apartment.  
  
  
  
"What the HELL does that mean?" Usagi snapped as Setsuna and Hotaru appeared in her living room  
  
  
"I don't know, it's supposed to be cryptic." Setsuna smiled slightly and sat down. "Mamoru, you look good for your evening with Rei, although after what I have to say you may not want to go."  
  
  
"Spit it out Setsuna." Usagi growled. "I have had enough, honestly, this is slow torture or something!"  
  
  
  
Setsuna nodded. "Time is beginning to converge, I believe that you already knew that because I told you previously. What I have *NOT* told you is why. The transformation is starting and I can no longer stop it or delay it as I have been ever since the Dark Moon Family. I have a strict non intervention policy, but I had to break it and attempt to slow down, delay or stop time to prevent this. It has failed at last and I can do nothing, everything depends on you now, my time is finished. Crystal Tokyo and more is starting to form out of all that is here now, and since you have changed, the development has sped up exponentially - it can be halted no longer. I have been most grateful that you changed on your own because as you well know there are the Trials that you have to face and overcome before you can even *THINK* of taking the throne. You must be strong and you must be prepared. That is what I have been observing. The Trials are hard, no doubts there and I cannot divulge the tasks that you will be forced to face - save that failure means death, but now I have no doubts that you will succeed, conquer and overcome them and emerge strong and prepared to take your place as the new Queen."  
  
  
  
"But what caused Crystal Tokyo and the other things to start to develop so early? Why is time converging at this time...pardon the pun?" Usagi asked. "There is more than you are telling me."  
  
  
"I have only ever seen this convergence once before and it had disastrous consequences for the Galaxy. It happened once and it will happen again, it's only a matter of how long. I cannot tell you when time converged at one given and set point, but you already know, don't you?" Setsuna nodded and carried on, not noticing how pale Usagi got as she realized the truth. "You have discovered the truth of your parentage Usagi and you know that you are pure Lunarian and I'm sure you have made the connection that that is why you were always so clumsy...there is gravity on earth. You are starting to transform into someone else and if you don't then staying on the earth will kill you, as it did your mother. You are under the impression that you are the leader of the Sailor Senshi and Champion of Love and Justice, this is only partially true Usagi, for you are much more, and are meant for more than what you have become. You must take your place in the stars."  
  
  
Usagi's eyes widened. "That's legend. Myth. It is not true." she whispered, understanding.  
  
  
Hotaru nodded, ignoring the bewildered look on Mamoru's face. "It is not Usagi." she sighed. "Why do you think all that is important in the Galaxy has come to earth and happened here? The Negaverse, the Dark Moon family, The Death Busters, The Dead Moon, Galaxia and the Phages...It was drawn by you, to you, because of who and what you are and what you are destined to become."  
  
  
  
Setsuna looked Usagi directly in the eye. "You are the Guardian of the Galactic Cauldron. The place where time stands still, the place where all life is created and where all dead spirits go. You are the salvation, you are the Messiah and you are the future Queen, not just of earth but of this Galaxy. You are meant to rule on high, alone and unanswerable to no one, for no one has ever lived who has been as strong as you, and none shall come after who will ever attain the height of power that you have." she closed her eyes briefly. "Time is unravelling thanks to Chibi Usa who; by speeding up her aging process has caused lasting repercussions throughout all time. She is a force to be reckoned with, and one you may have to face off against."  
  
  
Usagi nodded, having already thought of that possiblity. "I understand." she sighed. "I am strong and I can face her if needs be."  
  
  
Setsuna smiled at her gently. "I know this now, and you are brave your Highness. You will do what needs to be done and I am relieved. I thought I would have to bring your future self here to talk some sense into you. You can conquer anything that is thrown in your path. You have your own agenda and your own plans, follow them through. I am loyal to you, and I will continue to be so."  
  
  
Hotaru winked at Mamoru. "Now that Crystal Tokyo is beginning, it is allright for you two to consummate your relationship. Small Lady must be conceived very soon so that she may be born, this is what Haruka and Setsuna were trying to prevent. You must wait until the appointed time and the time is now."  
  
  
Usagi looked at Mamoru who's eyes were wide. "It's ok for me to have Usako? No one will stop us this time?" he asked, not quite believing it.  
  
  
"Indeed."Setsuna assured him. "I give you my word."  
  
  
Mamoru turned to Usagi who looked pensive. "And if I do this with Mamoru then Chibi Usa will be conceived and Crystal Tokyo will be formed?"  
  
  
"Yes." Hotaru smiled. "That is the plan - after your trials of course."  
  
  
"And this has to be?" Usagi questioned further. Before she would never have pressed and questioned her Time and Death Senshi like this, but she had taken the reins of leader and wasn't giving up until things went her way at last. She was no longer the ditz. "There is no other alternative?"  
  
  
"Usako what are you saying?" Mamoru looked at her, slightly upset. "Don't you want...?"  
  
  
"Oh I do Mamo-chan, but I must know, does this have to be, now? So suddenly? No more time to wait or delay? The hourglass is empty?" Usagi pressed, determined to have everything out on the table.   
  
  
"Yes." Setsuna replied slowly, her suspicions rising. Usagi was acting awfully strange.... "Crystal Tokyo will form irregardless, you will change irregardless, you will face the Trials no matter what. You must make love so that Small Lady will be born and inherit her birthright. If you do not do this and soon - who knows what, if any child you will have. This has to be done Usagi. Love her or don't, Chibi Usa will be your daughter as she is meant to be."  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I had no intention of this being a cliffhanger and I don't think it is since one person wrote me and told me I wrote the worst story they had ever read and shouldn't even attempt to write cliffhangers because I make a bad story worse. To that person I write a big BITE ME. To everyone else I hope you enjoyed, hope you aren't bored and hope you'll want to read more. Until my next chapter...ja ne! Remember...NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check out my websites ne? http://adundra.tripod.com/Adundra and http://serenitai.tripod.com/serenitaisanimekingdomandotherstuffpage/   
  
Ja! 


	9. I play hard, I play to win

Allright here is is and extra long to beseech forgiveness to all for not updating for two and a half weeks! I HATE, HATE, HATE writers block and bless Bon Jovi and my writing cd's for helping me snap out of it! Please don't hunt me down and hurt me, here is a humble offering for you! And thanks for your wonderful wonderful support, trust me that these days I need it. So on with the story, please read and review but be kind. No Flames. Good reviews and ratings please! I am accepting fanfic on my websites, anything, any rating, any couple (Sailor Moon that is). All you have to do is specify what music (if any) you want in the background and what character you want to introduce your story. All my background music is MP3 not midi (Wreath of Roses that's for you) so please feel free to submit and check out my websites eh? Ok, enough rambling and on with the story!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A heavy silence hung in the air in the wake of Usagi's startling announcement, and Setsuna's jaw hung open - the first kind of obvious emotion she had ever shown. "I'm sorry Usagi but I seem to be hallucinating. Could you repeat that?" she asked slowly.  
  
  
  
  
Usagi, never taking her eyes off Mamoru who looked as shocked as anyone, but nodded to her, drew in a deep breath. "No, I won't do it. My life will not be controlled on a timetable. Crystal Tokyo is developing and I have trials to face. I can do that, I understand that and I will face them albeit with trepidation in my heart, but as to conceiving THAT child...no, I won't do it. I am the one who will have to carry her, give birth to her and raise her. I do not like her, in fact I think I hate her. I won't do it. I cannot even say that I am sorry because I am not."  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru crossed the room to stand by Usagi. "I will support you in this decision." he said quietly, knowing that in the end it wasn't really his decision to make.   
  
  
  
  
Setsuna sat down heavily in a chair, her head held between her hands. "Usagi you don't have a choice here....you HAVE to do this. The future...."  
  
  
  
  
"Is not set." Usagi finished. "Why follow a pre-ordanined path? Let's make the future up as we go along. I will no longer be a pawn in a destiny that has already been decreed."  
  
  
  
  
Never in her millennia of existence had Setsuna ever heard of anyone ever blatantly refusing destiny in such an extreme manner...wait...she had. Her eyes lit up as she remembered the last time and she winced as she remembered the repercussions that still echoed through the timeline. "Usagi..."  
  
  
  
  
"You're afraid." Usagi said quietly. "You are so used to seeing into your gate and knowing what will happen. The predicitability is comforting to you, the never changing present is your comfort zone. For the first time in millennia you will not be able to look into your gate, for the first time you will not know what is going to happen next, and that my dear Setsuna, is the essence of life. Life is to be taken and beaten and wrestled and formed in your image." she shook her head. "Perhaps if Chibi Usa had been nicer to me I would be willing to give her life, but as it stands now, I refuse to. However now you have said it is free and clear for Mamoru and I to be together."  
  
  
  
  
"But if you are not going to conceive...."  
  
  
  
  
"It changes nothing Setsuna. It's allright for me to get pregnant, but not allright for me to have safe...."  
  
  
  
  
"This was never forseen by me." Setsuna said, a catch in her voice almost tears.  
  
  
  
  
"Setsuna, you have always been Usagi's strongest advocater, both in this life and in the past. You have said that you have complete trust and faith in her to do the right thing, for she always does. Trust her in this decision. She is about to face difficult trials that she has no concept of...but we do. Usagi would never destroy all that is meant to be, but instead of being shaped by the timeline she is shaping it around her - as she should for one with her wonderful and terrible power." Hotaru said, speaking up at last. "I confess to not being upset at the fact that Chibi Usa may not be born and that if she is she will be a very different person from the one I know...I accept that. If I am willing to face that fact Setsuna, then you should be too."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Only once before..." Setsuna trailed off softly. "And the Galaxy wept, as it weeps still. I shall never forget."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi closed her eyes and then walked over to Setsuna, placing her hand on her knee. "I know of what incident you are speaking of and yes it was terrible and I too can still feel the aftereffects of it. But I changed destiny once before, a thousand years ago in an incident that you are not speaking of and now I change it again. I promise you this Setsuna...I will not let anything as terrible as that happen again, but I will no longer be told what to do, not by you and not by anyone, for if I do then I become a puppet losing my goddess given free will, the very essence of what makes me human...or Lunarian as it were. Have faith in me Setsuna and I swear on my soul that I will create a utopian society."  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna's magenta red eyes met Usagi's silver blue and for a moment there was silence as the Time Guardian contemplated all that she had been told. Slowly she nodded. "I trust you with destiny itself. Your Trials will begin in a few days, I suggest you prepare yourself however you can. If you have God in your life then please make contact." she said in a reluctant voice. "I can use power you don't know of to overcome your will and force you make things as I wish, but I will not for I respect you too much."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi stood and smiled softly at her. "I play hard and I play to win." she glanced at Mamoru who had a look of pride on his face. "I know no fear still standing tall."  
  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru helped the stunned Senshi of Time to her feet. "We will be in touch. I think right now Setsuna needs a stiff drink. Usagi for what it's worth, I am proud of you, and your future self is proud of you, your mother is proud of you. You see what needs to be done and you are going to do it. As your mother was determined to shape destiny herself, so do you follow in her footsteps. Truly the Royal Lunarian family is great and honoured are we to serve, even if you do give us grey hair."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi said nothing as they vanished and she turned to Mamoru who's eyes had turned dark and dusky. "Now it's allright as long as precautions are took." He said in a husky tone that she was starting to recognize.  
  
  
  
  
"And you have a date with Rei." Usagi reminded him.   
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru cursed as he realized she was right and knew he couldn't cancel and risk Rei's ire, risk her finding out the truth that she was being played like a violin. "Tomorrow Usako is for us."  
  
  
  
  
"How do you feel about a son?" Usagi asked casually.  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru closed his eyes as emotion pierced his heart. The one thing he had always wished for. The one thing he had sworn never to tell her he desired above all else. An heir of his own. A daughter was well and good and he couldn't wait, but a son...."I think a son would be wonderful Usako."   
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss that made his knees weak. "The future is mine Mamo-chan and I am in full control. I am afraid of the Trials, I am afraid of what is to come...I've been knocked down so many times." she paused. "Call it karma...." she trailed off. "Damned if I am going to fall and fail when I've come so far. In destiny's face I call it's bluff. Bring it on I like it rough!"  
  
  
  
  
"I love you." he said as she finished her vehement declaration. "I am so proud of you and I am discovering that you have hidden more from me than I ever though possible if the change in your vocabulary is any indication. I look forward to discovering more about you."  
  
  
  
"Enough Mamoru. You have to go. We cannot risk you being late for Rei. Go and I will be here when you get back. I have a rendezvous of my own tonight." Usagi stepped away from him, unable to look at him suddenly. She had other plans in motion, plans he knew nothing about, plans no one knew about and she would make them come true and destiny be damned. 'I'm taking full control this time.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Minako lay on a ratty pallet on the ground, under the eyes of Luna while Rei and Chibi Usa exchanged details on the best way to seduce Mamoru, Rei gloating that she would have what Usagi never would, her joy and reclaiming her former boyfriend making her lax, but the harsh words of Chibi Usa, her stiff domination damping Rei's joy. She wiped tears from her eyes as she dared not move. She had been whipped, harshly, cruelly, with something other than the stick Rei had used before. Her back was raw as the blood finally stopped running, and despite the cold heartedness of it, she was grateful she had been let off easier than Haruka who had fought back and her fate was yet to be decided. "Minako."   
  
  
  
  
  
She raised her head slowly at the rapid and whispered voice that came to her through the trees where she was condemned to sleep. "Who's there?"  
  
  
  
  
"You wanted to go to Usagi? Well come on if you are coming."   
  
  
  
  
Minako recognized Michiru's voice. "I can't get up Michiru."  
  
  
  
  
"Your wounds are not as bad as Haruka's and she's here. Usagi will heal you and if you wish it she will protect you. You have to decided here and now which way you will go for Haruka and I will not return if we can help it. Haruka is going to kill Rei if we do."  
  
  
  
  
Minako pulled herself to her feet. "I come with you."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Should we report this?" Makoto asked Ami as she watched Minako hobble off behind the Outer Senshi.  
  
  
  
  
"Say nothing, do nothing." Ami replied looking up from her book. "We now know that Usagi has a plan of her own in action - how I miss her! - and while we do not know what it is, we can only assume that she is plotting the downfall of Rei and Chibi Usa. We cannot vanish, we have to appear to completely support Rei on the surface."  
  
  
  
  
"And underneath?" Makoto arched an eyebrow.   
  
  
  
  
"I don't know Makoto, but I know that this can't continue. Something is changing, I can feel it in the water, I can smell it in the earth and no matter what happens, I know that something is changing, something is happening and we will soon have to choose a side."  
  
  
  
  
"But who will we choose? The leader who is capable yet hurts us, or the leader who's killed us yet is showing a cunning we never knew she had?"   
  
  
  
  
For that Ami had no reply.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi opened her door as her eyes widened when Michiru led Haruka and Minako in. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Minako. "What the HELL is SHE doing here?" she demanded of her senshi.  
  
  
  
"Healing first, talking later." Michiru said to Usagi point to Haruka who's face was pinched with pain.  
  
  
  
  
Usagi murmured a few words and Haruka smiled at her. "Thank you Kitten, and now Minako."  
  
  
  
  
"Give me one good reason why I should." Usagi said, crossing her arms in front of her.  
  
  
  
"She got this beating because of you, because her loyalties have shifted, because she wants to serve you." Michiru said gently.   
  
  
  
  
Usagi walked over to Minako and healed her reluctantly. Minako looked at Usagi, at how different she looked, at the cold expression in her eyes as she looked at her former best friend - who had abandoned her, had left her to exile. "Usagi I want to come back to you. I am your senshi if you'll have me."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi looked at her directly. "No alibis Minako. You've obviously been trying to work up your nerve, but we both know without a word what you did to me cannot be easily rectified. If I have my senshi then they will be loyal to me and not cast me out into exile, taking my tools from me and leaving me because of who I am. Like a man I won't settle for less than the best. I'm not afraid because I have Trials to pass. If you want to come back to me then you had better to be willing to do what I want you to."  
  
  
  
Minako was startled as she realized how far above her Usagi was, how she was going to have to work - and work hard - to get back in her good graces, to get her to trust her again. "Usagi, Rei used a..."  
  
  
  
  
"The best excuse is no excuse Minako. No alibis, no lies, no excuses. Take responsibility for what you did, for charm or not you had free will and you used it to betray me." Usagi told her as she sipped at a glass of water.   
  
  
  
  
"She let us off easy." Haruka confessed, "And yet she's been hard as nails on us. I see just from looking at her that we will have to return to Rei and pretend to be her senshi yet."  
  
  
  
"Many things have been made clear to me this night." Usagi affirmed. "Nonetheleast of which is the future. Oh and Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru have decreed that it is allright for Mamoru and I to be together at last, which means no more interruptions from you."  
  
  
  
  
"Then you must have to conceive Chibi Usa." Michiru said in a dead voice, shuddering internally.  
  
  
  
"No, I have refused to give birth to Chibi Usa." Usagi smiled at them. "Make yourselves comfortable my friends for this is a story that is long in the telling."  
  
  
  
Minako lept to her feet. "Like her or don't, you can't deny her living!"  
  
  
Blue flames lit Usagi's eyes. "'I can't?' I can't." she repeated. "Minako you forget yourself, I ask for neither your company nor counsel. The best things in life are worth waiting for. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize - and Chibi Usa is not it. If you must be here then be seen and not heard."  
  
  
  
Minako sat down heavily, tears welling up in her blue eyes, not having realized before this instant how much they had hurt Usagi, how angry she was at them. She couldn't take this anger, this contempt, not from her best friend. She had realized her error and returned to her only to be cast away when she had the best of intentions. She froze as she realized Usagi did to her what they had done to Usagi, and now knew how she had felt. She dropped to her knees at Usagi's feet, tears falling down her face. "Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. I never realized or understood until this moment, until this very second how much we hurt you. Please give me another chance. Mercy Usagi, have mercy or have pity...I care not, but don't turn away from me. I am your senshi, I am your friend, I am....sorry." she wept through her tears.  
  
  
  
  
So consumed with her grief was she that she did not notice her tears being wiped away. She looked up into Usagi's face, next to hers as she too had fallen to her knees, as she too wept and smiled. "It will be long and hard for you Minako, for you hurt me so badly, your betrayal hurt worst of all. You must believe completely in me."  
  
  
"I do, oh I do." Minako said through shuddering sobs.  
  
  
  
Usagi held out her arms. "Sailor Venus, I bind you to me, welcome back though on probation you are."  
  
  
  
Minako didn't care if she died in this instant, for she was forgiven. Michiru and Haruka smiled gently at the scene. "Now Usagi, tell us all that transpired here tonight and why you will not have Chibi Usa."  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded and sat back. "First I must tell you of some new plans I have made, new decisions and reckonings I have reached, and of a future that has come much sooner than I thought."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru climbed the stairs to the Hikawa Jinja with a heavy heart. He didn't want Rei to touch him and he certainly didn't want to touch her, not with Usagi waiting at home. Home. The word had never sounded so sweet to him, never had any meaning. Conceive or not, make love or not, he worshipped Usagi as she was meant to be, and his love was so strong that it hurt his heart. She had told him he was free to do as he wished with Rei, knowing that it would be all he could do to kiss her and not vomit. Praying he could summon some contempt for his beloved - how proud he was of her! How strong she was! - he approached the entrance to the Temple and hoped he could pull this off.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna tossed back another stiff drink...where HAD Hotaru found this stuff? She didn't care. Her greatest fears were going to come true, she was certain of it. A thousand years ago her instructions had been defied and it had caused the greatest genocide in existence. It happened before and it would happen again, she was certain. She and Hotaru alone knew what Usagi's final Trial would be, and it was uncertain if she would succeed or not. "We must have faith." Hotaru added as she saw Setsuna toss back one more.   
  
  
  
  
"This is a disaster." Setsuna said grimly. "You see what will happen as clearly as I do. With her refusal the beginning of the end has begun and it draws closer. I KNEW she was going to do this again!"  
  
  
  
"Again?" Hotaru looked at Setsuna with wide eyes. "When did she do it before?"  
  
  
  
Setsuna fell into silence, cursing the alcohol that had loosened her tongue. "It will all work out in the end." a new voice cut into the terse silence.  
  
  
  
Setsuna and Hotaru stood and held their weapons ready. "Show yourself." Hotaru demanded in place of Setsuna who was not quite in a position to talk.  
  
  
  
The figure stepped forward into the light, a broad smirk on features that had been long forgotten, and there was thump as Setsuna, the mighty Senshi of Time, Guardian and Warrior fainted. Hotaru was stunned speechless. "Now things will be done properly." the figure said with satisfaction evident in the voice. "And you no longer have the right to interfere."  
  
  
  
This was bad, this was very bad, and Hotaru glanced at the inert form of Setsuna and cursed to herself. She should have known that Usagi's choice to not give life to Chibi Usa would anger the wrong people, and Usagi's danger mounted. Hotaru knew as Setsuna did not that Usagi had other plans in mind, other things she intended to do, things that no one knew of yet. Everything stood upon the blade of a knife, and Hotaru had plans of her own to put into action, for Setsuna had done her duty to Usagi and now it was time for Hotaru to do hers.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, done this chapter! Next one coming very soon because I don't want any more death threats and I have gotten a whooping funt of them emailed to me! Remember no flames and good ratings and reviews! I write based on reviews so please do review! Check out my websites too eh?   
  
Ja ne! 


	10. I'm gonna touch the sky

Greetings! Once again here is Chapter 10 of Watch Me Shine and thanks to all who emailed me and demanded that I hurry up! I say give credit to my friend Chikara who is a slave driver and forced me to sit down and finish my partially written chapter on pain of death by her hands. So here is a humble offering that I hope you like! Please no flames, good reviews and ratings please! Standard disclaimers. Enjoy! Read and review but be kind! I write based on reviews and remember that I am accepting any and all fanfic on my websites! Please submit!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi sat back, her revelations done, the shock showing clearly on the faces of Haruka, Michiru and Minako who stared at her as if they had never seen her before. "Usagi...." Haruka began tenatively. "What you are about to attempt has never been done before."  
  
  
  
  
"I know." Usagi nodded. "That's why it's going to work." she sighed. "I don't expect you to like it or understand it, but to save myself for the Trials I am going to have to take drastic measures. I had always hoped that it wouldn't come to this, I had never thought I would openly attack, but I have known from the beginning of this whole thing that there was another force at work, I don't believe in coincidences. From the moment when my senshi threw me out, from the second my parents informed me I was adopted I know. The hand was played too carelessly, and the actions let me see who was really behind this whole thing. My only question is 'Why?'" she did not tell them that by the end of the night she would have already completed her first Trial.   
  
  
  
  
Minako sat forward. "You have fought since the day you first met, since you have never given her a chance..."  
  
  
  
  
"A chance? Like hell Minako!" Usagi snorted. "I have given her countless chances! I have made excuses for her and I have defended her unto mine own death! Don't talk to me about being unfair! If anything is unfair it is this underhanded way she has gone and executed her plan to strip everything from me. They are three, remember that and they are working in sync because they are all in it too deep to cast the others away and they know it and I know it, and of course, they are led by HER."  
  
  
  
  
Michiru nodded. "But what you have planned...it will weaken you so much...the Trials to come..."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi shook her head. "It cannot be avoided Michiru. The future has come sooner than expected, and I must be it's herald for if I don't then I risk losing control of all that I have worked so hard for, and all that I am going to build. Through dangers untold I have fought to get to this point, and now, on the brink of MY future and MY destiny, I will not have it torn from me by some power hungry bitch."  
  
  
  
Haruka smiled. "I don't claim to understand the innerworkings of royalty and the like. That is not for one such as me. I'm just here to kick ass and sleep till noon." she stood and knelt in front of Usagi. "But know this. I am also sworn to protect you from everything and all threats and that includes yourself your royal hiney. I know where you are coming from and I also know that to shape the future you have to confront the past that you have been running from. I will help you, and I will support you. I will always stand by you, you have my sword."  
  
  
  
  
Michiru joined kneeling next to Haruka. "To you I bend knee willingly, though Rei and Chibi Usa had to force me. You have my mirror and all the powers of Neptune at your disposal."  
  
  
  
Minako's jaw hung open, not having realized until she saw this scene just how much Usagi had grown beyond her. Oaths of fealty! Complex plans that she never would have thought possible. For a moment she was sad, her best friend having left her for adulthood...an adulthood Minako wasn't quite prepared to face yet. She watched Usagi and knew in that instant, that Usagi was meant to be Queen, and she would be Queen. "In for a penny...into the ground." she said as she joined them, kneeling to Usagi.   
  
  
  
Usagi groaned as Haruka bit her lip to keep from laughing and Michiru's shoulders shook with silent laughs. "I couldn't have said it better myself Minako."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru knocked on the door and waited, his skin shivering at the thought of Rei touching him. How he yearned to speak the truth, to shout it to all the lands about his Usako, about her intelligence, about who she really was. The door cracked open and he saw Yuuichirou standing there, eyeing him with a cross between hatred and pity in his eyes. "Come in Mamoru-kun, she is expecting you."  
  
  
  
Mamoru nodded and followed him inside the jinja, a heavy scent hung in the air and Mamoru knew that it was meant to be an aphrodisiac but instead was making him nauseous. It was going to be a long night. "I hope I have not kept her waiting." he replied offhandedly.  
  
  
  
  
Yuuichirou turned to face him. "I loved her once Mamoru, and I think I could love her again. She has never had any use or time for me and I accept that fact. There was one time long ago when she came running after me begging me not to leave and I came back for her. She has changed and moved beyond the person she was, the person I loved and I miss that. It's hard to say how she's changed but she has. Know this Mamoru, I know that you are cheating on your girlfriend to be here with Rei and I know that if Usagi ever found out that she would be crushed. You have hurt Rei and her tender heart enough, do not hurt her any more by toying with her. If I must stand aside then I stand aside to the man who Rei loves and who she has always belonged to. Leave Usagi by the side of the road and accept the gentle gift that Rei has bestowed upon you one final time."  
  
  
  
Mamoru didn't know what to say, he couldn't answer that. Gentle gift? Rei? He highly doubted it, but he knew that love was blind and as long as Yuuichirou thought that Mamoru was in love with Rei then he would tolerate the man. How would he react when he found out that Usagi was going to make Rei dance to her tune before she bent knee to her? "I understand." he replied for what else was there to say.   
  
  
  
"Through here." Yuuichirou nodded and gestured towards a door.   
  
  
  
  
Mamoru thanked him and opened the door. The scene inside made him freeze even as his jaw dropped at the sight that lay within.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa paced relentlessly through Usagi's old room, searching, snooping desperately for anything that she could use against her. Her future mother had forseen her daughter's greed however and she had taken all, leaving nothing of worth behind, and to top it off she had returned one night and taken more from the room while Chibi Usa slept. She and Luna were understandably indignant. "I must figure out a way to use the ginzuishou."  
  
  
  
  
"What about your ginzuishou? Remember the one from the future that was absorbed inside your body? The one that is in your locket?" Luna asked, lying on the bed and yawning as she smiled at her mistress. Finally an owner and princess worth serving!  
  
  
  
"I've tried to use it!" Chibi Usa snapped. "The crystal has been nullified by something! It won't work or listen to my commands."  
  
  
  
"Usagi must have klutzed out and done something to damage it. You poor darling, not even able to use your own birthright in your own defense because your mother ruined it as she does everything else." Luna soothed walking over to Chibi Usa and nuzzling her.  
  
  
  
"What will I do?" Chibi Usa wailed. "I need the ginzuishou! Usagi will never give it to me and we both know it. She will surrender it to no one."  
  
  
  
  
"Then perhaps we should make things more interesting for her." A voice interjected into the room. "My Maiden, I cannot believe what she is doing, how she has treated you and I cannot believe that she is denying you the chance to live." the voice paused. "I need you my Maiden and I will have you yet."  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa raised her eyes to the window and smiled. "Helios!"  
  
  
  
He entered the room. "Setsuna is drunk, Hotaru in shock. My rage has been kindled against Usagi, my fury directed towards the last Lunarian because she is taking you from me. You were meant for me, you always have been and I will ensure that you will be born." he said, his eyes flashing.  
  
  
  
"What will we do Helios?" Chibi Usa breathed, just being in his presence intoxicating. She was almost fourteen thanks to her time travelling...who said Mamoru had to be the first as long as he was hers in the end?  
  
  
  
"Take that which is most valuable to her." Helios replied. "Force her to give up the ginzuishou and force her to succumb to our wishes and conceive you. The world needs you my Maiden, it does not need her."  
  
  
  
"Hear hear!" Luna agreed as she came to stand at their feet looking at them, both regal and stately in their demeanor. At last a king and queen who she would be proud to serve, a king and a queen with brains.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru gently slapped Setsuna's face, begging her to wake up from her faint. Because she had not been injured she could not be healed. "Setsuna come on. There is work to be done and a Guardian to stop." Hotaru repeated for the fifth or sixth time. She stared off with her fathomless purple eyes into the distance, letting them glaze over slightly even as they teared up. Setsuna's plans were put into action, now Hotaru's dread plans had to be seen to. Hotaru was not the only one who had power over life and death, for it belonged to one other. Hotaru had died many times and did not fear death, save for now. Her end was coming, for she had seen the danger that was approaching and to save her Princess she would give her life.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna was lost in a dream. A memory. A rememberance of a thousand years ago when her warnings and wishes of what was to be had been ignored, a time when the Galaxy was nearly rent in twain and it wept even as it bled still.  
  
  
  
**** "Truly your Majesty I speak the truth. I am telling you that she is not to be trusted." Setsuna reported, her eyes on the ground.  
  
  
  
"I think that you are set against her Setsuna. It's not so surprising seeings as how you were one of the first and you are by far the oldest."  
  
  
  
"I tell you what I see when I look into the Time Gate. You must destroy her now!"  
  
  
  
"I will not destroy one of my own!" Selenity snapped. "She is my senshi and I will stand for her if needs be. Yes she craves power...so does Mars! You do not speak against her!"  
  
  
  
"But Mars is long lived and noble, as are all the planets...save one. She wants the longevity that you and Lunarians possess. The Time Gate shows that she will destroy you."  
  
  
  
"I do not think so Setsuna. I will not listen to you this time. I trust her."   
  
  
  
"You give trust far too easily and put too much stock in Oaths. Even a person can lie during a blood Oath if their will is evil enough." Setsuna closed her eyes in frustration even as tears burned behind the lids. This had not been forseen by the Time Gate and if this path continued then she would never know what was to happen next. "Nothing good can come of this Selenity." she replied, ignoring protocol and looking at her sovreign in the eyes. "War will come if you do not nip this problem in the bud now."  
  
  
  
Selenity sat back and closed her eyes, her blonde hair drooping. Setsuna was never wrong and she always spoke the truth. What was to be done? The Cauldron had to be protected, the Core had to be protected. If what Setsuna said was fact then doom for the Galaxy was approaching. "She cannot turn on her fellow senshi Setsuna. I do not see how."  
  
  
  
Setsuna sighed. "She covets your power, she covets your longevity and she covets your fiancée."  
  
  
  
"She would not touch Endymion!" Selenity said indignantly. "Nor me. I've been family to her."  
  
  
  
"Ambition knows no family." Setsuna said ruthlessly. "She is the only senshi not of noble blood, and she yearns to be more than what she is."  
  
  
  
"Who doesn't?" Selenity replied offhandedly.   
  
  
  
"Selenity please!" Setsuna begged. "Do not do this! Heed me and my warning! Banish her! Destroy her before she destroys you and all that you hold dear!"  
  
  
  
"No." Selenity replied with finality. "And I will hear no more accusations against her. The future is not set, and you are far to dependent on that Gate of yours. I shall have a chat with your father and inform him that you are letting it guide you in all decisions. Your focus determines your reality Setsuna, not a Time Gate. I will not live to a pre-formed path or destiny! Let's make it up as we go along."  
  
  
  
Setsuna shook her head, knowing nothing she could say would change her mind. Tears longed to fall as she knew that this decision would bring them all to peril. "Then prepare yourself for the worst." she said tonelessly. "Do I have your leave to go?" at Selenity's nod she stood to walk out, noting the tears on Selenity's face as well. This was the first time they had ever openly disagreed and clashed, this was the first time her warnings had fallen on deaf ears. As she left Selenity's chambers she passed Sailor Earth who wore a broad grin on her vulpine face.   
  
  
  
"You seem upset Sets." she said casually, not even pretending that she didn't know what about. "Your latest attempt to discredit me has been in vain and done no good at all." she shook her head even as her smile grew wider. "Now the games begin."  
  
  
  
"If you harm her in any way Beryl..." Setsuna could not finish the warning, her anger and hatred at this creature beyond reproach.   
  
  
  
Beryl did not reply, just turned on her heel and left. Setsuna watched after her and knew that doom flew on swift wings. Trouble had three children and Beryl was all of them.  
  
  
  
  
  
**** The attack was swift and brutal, even as Setsuna raced to the side of her Queen, she first headed for the Cauldron and the Core and locked the doors giving orders in Selenity's name to the Outer Senshi, to the Galactic Senshi. The Stars were determined not to let anyone pass save Selenity herself. As she finished her work making sure that all the planes and doors were protected, she cursed Beryl and Selenity's purity and refusal to listen, now the entire Galaxy was at war. She had to get to the Moon, to get to the Palace. At the time when Beryl confronted Selenity and Queen Serenity sought to use the ginzuishou to protect them, Setsuna heard a silence fall in the Outer Rim and knew that Saturn had unleashed her deadly powers. As Queen Serenity used the ginzuishou and lay dying on the cross that her pillars had formed, Setsuna stared with pain filled eyes at the spear that had been plunged through her body by one of the Four Generals. As Setsuna fell to the ground amidst the dead and dying Senshi, she saw the bloody remains of her Princess who, barely alive added her power to her mother's to seal off the damage done. As death sought to close her eyes she saw the Stars still protecting that which mattered most and vowing vengeance on Beryl for all she had done. As she prepared to give her last breath, she felt herself transported back to her Gates and the sweet voice of Selenity over all else apologizing. "You were right." were the last words that Setsuna heard and then darkness came and she knew no more.****  
  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru, with her hands on Setsuna's head watched all, knew all and finally understood. Usagi had not listened about Beryl, the fallen Senshi a thousand years ago and had brought doom to all that was. Now she was changing the future once more with denying Chibi Usa and once again the strings of Time quivered as balance grew unsettled and nothing was as it seemed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru gaped like a fish out of water at what Rei and Chibi Usa had prepared for him. The air was heavily laced with the scent of jasmine and the inner room where Rei was was swathed in red lace as the sacred fire burned nearby adding a devlish glow. With all the red it seemed like the entrance to the pit of hell and in the middle of it, propped up on pillows and looking for all the world like a harem girl was Rei. A jeweled bra that covered nothing adorned her body even as sheer, red harem pants covered her legs. She was barefoot and her hair was down as usual. Some kind of music played in the background but Mamoru tuned it out. Yes, Rei looked beautiful, but when she held out her arms to him beseeching him to come he found himself not tempted, not wanting to go. Indeed he was frozen to the spot. If it had been Usagi he would already be ravishing her...the scene was seductive and screamed it aloud, yet he was not moved. "Come to me Mamo-chan." Rei said throatily, trying to sound like a temptress but to Mamoru's ears she sounded like she was choking on something. Wishing for Usagi's strength, he crossed the floor and went to her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi sat. She knew what Mamoru was seeing for it was also in her mind, having opened herself up to the link. She smiled slightly knowing that it repulsed him, that he did not want this nor did he hunger or desire Rei. She sensed Chibi Usa and knew Helios had arrived. It did not surprise her that he had forsaken her or his cousin, for his desire for Chibi Usa was stronger than any other force she knew of. She sighed and ignored the looks from Minako, Haruka and Michiru. She was waiting. The air was pregnant with mighty expectation. She felt it coming, felt the presence drawing closer. When she saw a grizzled figure before her in her living room she stood and knelt deeply. Haruka frowned. "Who the hell are you?" she demanded. "The ghost of Christmas past?"  
  
  
  
  
The figure ignored her. "Are you prepared for your first Trial?" he asked in a voice that was as timeless as the ages it had seen pass, as the life it had given.  
  
  
  
"I am." Usagi replied in a shaking voice.  
  
  
  
He held out a hand and Usagi took it. Haruka, Michiru and Minako said and did nothing, indeed they were unable to as they realized who this was. Chronos, the father of Time, the father of Setsuna and the deliverer of Usagi's first Trial. "Be safe." Michiru prayed as Usagi vanished.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi was afraid, but she was not about to quit now. She had come to far, had too much invested. Time was moving swifter than she ever could have imagined it. She was determined to make her wishes come true. Her will would be law and her determination grew ever stronger. She had smiled when she was bleeding and she knew she had alot to lose but she also had something to prove. No longer would she linger on her shoulda, woulda, coulda's. She said goodbye to all her yesterdays. She was going to touch the sky and fly. "I ain't here to play." she whispered even as Chronos turned to her and she waited for him.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And that ends Chapter 10! I hope that I have not made any cliffhangers too bad since I have been told that I am terrible at writing them. Oh and to the person who keeps writing to me and telling me that they shouldn't have bothered reading my work, why the HELL do you keep reading it then? To you I give a big "Sod off!" Anyway, the next chapter is already in the works and on it's way. Please enjoy this humble offering. Remember NO FLAMES! Good reviews and ratings! I write based on ratings! And thanks to all who reviewed my latest poem "Struggle!"   
  
Ja! 


	11. Who am I?

Hello all! Well here it is! Chapter 11 and the start of Usagi's Trials! Good reviews and ratings please! No flames! Write based on reviews! Standard disclaimers!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi waited. It was pointless to try and rush Chronos, for he was the Master of Time itself and he did things in his own way, in his own time. "Are you afraid?" he asked her abruptly.  
  
  
  
  
"Yes." Usagi replied quietly.  
  
  
  
"Not nearly frightened enough. I know what awaits you." he replied grimly. "The first Trial is the easiest and if you survive then they only get more difficult. There are tweleve Trials total. Tell me why." he ordered.  
  
  
  
Usagi paused as she thought about it. She had known about the Trials but not the sheer number of them. Twelve Trials! "I must face a Trial for each one of my Senshi I'm guessing, that's eight, one for Mamoru and one for my mother and one for myself. But that is only eleven, what the twelfth is, I do not know."  
  
  
  
"Nor shall you until you reach it, however you have them in the wrong order, but no matters." he led her to a gate into an idyllic garden. It was a beautiful sight. "If you survive these Trials as your mother did, you will be the greatest Queen of all. I won't lie to you Usagi, out of all the people who attempt the Trials few survive. Your great great aunt couldn't do it, it had to pass to her sister, her daughter couldn't do it, it passed back to her sister's daughter and so on. Failure means death, never forget it even if you forget everything else." he gestured to a bowl that sat on a pedestle nearby. "Your memories flow like water, and are as fluid. This bowl holds your memories. If ever it is emptied, so go your memories. The first time is for what once was. For this Trial there is no time limit, but for others there will be. Go face your past, if you dare."  
  
  
  
Usagi said a prayer to Mamoru,to her Senshi, to her mother and then stepped through the gate. Instantly, whiteness came upon her brain and she blinked in confusion. Where was she? Or more straight to the point...WHO was she?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru forced himself to walk across the room to Rei who had a wicked smile on her face and held her arms out. He tried to bite back a snort as he remember Yuuichirou and his words. 'Gentle heart my ass!' he thought with scorn as he knelt next to her. Rei rolled to him and posed provocatively he supposed, to him it looked like she had a backache. "I'm at a loss for words." he said in a low voice.  
  
  
  
  
"Mamo-chan." Rei breathed as she curled her body around him, as a snake circling itself around its prey before it began squeezing it to death. "You have finally seen the light."  
  
  
  
'No denying that.' Mamoru thought. His girlfriend was light itself.  
  
  
  
  
"You have come to your senses and come to me." Rei grinned wickedly. "Tonight is about passion. About pleasure. About us. You need say no words, for it is written in your eyes."  
  
  
  
'I bet it is.' he thought grimly, forcing a smile on his lips. "Tonight Chibi Usa shall be conceived at last."  
  
  
  
"And if it fails within me, Helios has joined the playing field and he will force Usagi-baka to submit to the conception of my darling girl by taking from her that which she values most and holding it for ransom. Chibi Usa will be born irregardless." Rei tossed her head, her raven locks flying out behind her. "Words are no longer needed my love, come to me and show me all that I need to learn. I am not your first, the tales of you in bed are fascinating, but I will be your last, and I will be your wife."  
  
  
  
'In a pigs eye.' Mamoru retorted as all she said gleefully sunk in. 'Helios! You son of a bitch! You traitor!' he thought furiously. 'You have made your choice my dear cousin, I hope you are prepared for the consequences of your actions.' he frowned at Rei who had offered herself to him and closed her eyes. 'How the HELL am I going to get out of this one? Think Kamen, think!' he ordered himself. To buy himself some time, he ran his hands down Rei's smooth expanse of flat stomach and she shivered with joy even as he shivered in revulsion. Were those scales he felt?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru prayed. She was not big on prayer actually, never had been. When one was the anti-Christ one did not often pray to any deity, but she did now. She prayed for Usagi, knowing this first Trial, while being the easiest would be one Usagi would not expect. This attack would startle and terrify Usagi and she prayed that she could finish. Setsuna roused at last. "Where is she?"  
  
  
  
  
"She has begun the first Trial, Helios has chosen his side, and Mamoru is fighting nausea. Helios and Chibi Usa and Luna have come up with a plan to force Usagi to submit to them. Basically they are going to have her raped." Hotaru summed up.  
  
  
  
"With Helios and Chibi Usa, we CAN intervene." Setsuna said, an evil smile on her face. "Let us tell Haruka and Michiru. I have a sneaking suspicion that Helios will be a enuch before long."  
  
  
  
"Minako has been forgiven, and I know the past as I watched it in your mind." Hotaru finished.  
  
  
  
Setsuna shrugged. "Now you know and knowledge is power. Just remember Hotaru, we must learn from the past."   
  
  
  
"That is why it was so important that Usagi destroy Beryl at D-point isn't it?" Hotaru questioned. "She had to punish her rogue Senshi."  
  
  
  
"Beryl betrayed her Princess for power and longevity. She killed her Princess twice in actuality and if any of the Senshi had been strong enough we would have killed her ourselves, but she was a servant of the Princess and only her sovreign could make her pay. Usagi did that. She killed Beryl, the fallen senshi and taught all of us a lesson. Now one of her senshi have betrayed her again."  
  
  
  
Hotaru's eyes widened. "She has to kill Rei, doesn't she?"  
  
  
  
Setsuna shrugged. "I don't know Hotaru. Usagi has changed the Timeline and I cannot see the future or know what is going to happen any more than you do. My vision is blocked."  
  
  
  
"And we wait some more." Hotaru sighed.  
  
  
  
"Not quite." Setsuna shook her head and then smiled grimly, holding her Time Staff. "Let's hunt some horse."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She turned, startled as a twig broke behind her. She beheld a lovely girl who appeared to be her own age with blue hair. "Hello." she offered.  
  
  
  
The girl nodded. "I am wondering, why are you here?" she asked in a gentle voice.  
  
  
  
"I'm looking for something." Usagi replied.  
  
  
  
"And something you have found." she smiled.  
  
  
  
"How do I leave?"  
  
  
  
The girl looked hurt. "Do you not like my garden? This is my home. I have power over the waters here."   
  
  
  
"Your home is beautiful and I apologize for intruding upon your solitude, but I have important things to do and cannot linger."  
  
  
  
The girl shook her head. "You have entered my realm, for you there can be no turning back."  
  
  
  
"Then help me to go forward. What is your name?"   
  
  
  
"I am Ami of Mercury, high Priestess to the God Mercury and one with power over the waters and the ice."  
  
  
  
"I am..." Usagi faltered. "Well I don't know who I am but that matters not. Can you help me?"  
  
  
  
Ami tilted her head to one side and looked at her, speculative. "You said you had important things to do."  
  
  
  
"I do."  
  
  
  
"Yet you cannot remember something as simple as your own name."  
  
  
  
"Names matter not."  
  
  
  
"It is an excuse! A lie!" Ami burst out as she swiftly covered the remaining ground between them and took Usagi's head between her hands. "Always you hide the truth from yourself, always you lie and tell stories. No more!" she shook her head. "No more!" Usagi squirmed and tried to get away. "This is for what once was Nameless One!"  
  
  
  
At Ami's touch, flashes went through Usagi's head almost faster than she could keep track. Memories of things long forgotten from the Silver Millennium, truths hidden to blunt pain from her previous life and from this life. Usagi's soul was stripped bare and laid in front of her. She saw the truth, that she had wanted Endymion to die in the Silver Millennium because she was too selfish to share, she would not listen to Setsuna because she was too stubborn to listen to anyone but herself. She was guilty of all the deadly sins...Gluttony....she watched herself eat...Sloth...she saw her laziness and she tried to deny it....Pride...she saw her showing off her new dresses and prancing about the palace, she saw herself showing off Endymion...Mamory...Vanity...she primped in front a mirror, always pausing to look at herself, always beaming at the looks she pretended not to notice, she was hot and why shouldn't she be? She was a Princess, she was a blonde, she was a fool...Lust...trying to seduce Endymion...trying to seduce Mamoru...Covetousness...she wanted what the members of he court had, despite the fact that she had everything, always wanting Mako's cooking or Rei's manga...Envy...Minako and the others were so beautiful, Ami was so smart, Michiru so perfect....Wrath...Chibi Usa, Luna and Rei being the receptacles for her deadly wrath, Beryl being victimized in her senshi training and getting her wrath...  
  
  
  
She shook her head screaming in agony, this wasn't her! This wasn't what she was! She was good, she was pure, she was kind! A bowl of water sat innocently nearby. Wrenching herself out of Ami's unyielding grip, she held up the bowl prepared to dump it out. "That's not me you lying whore!" she screamed as Ami watched her with an unreadable expression on her face.   
  
  
  
A disembodied voice floated into her head. 'If ever the bowl is emptied...so go your memories...' "To be free of the pain and the lies." she said aloud, closing her eyes and raising the bowl.  
  
  
  
"To forget your love and your dreams and your hopes." Ami retorted.  
  
  
  
"To no longer have to deal with untruths and unreasonable expectations."  
  
  
  
"To become that which you loathe. To give up all that you have worked so hard to achieve, to build."   
  
  
  
Usagi paused, wavered and hesitated. Ami swiftly knelt down next to her and placed her hands on her face again. Once again Usagi was inundated with images, she writhed, she screamed in pain, she shook her head in denial. Her back arched as Ami wouldn't let go, as all that once was tortured her mind. Abruptly she stopped fighting and stared at the bowl. She could fight and deny all she wanted. Or not. She looked at the images swarming through her mind and smiled gently. She had to accept it. It was the truth.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mamoru decided to do something he had sworn never to do. He couldn't kiss Rei, couldn't make love to her, could hardly stand to touch her. He slowly slid his hands up to her temples and rubbed them in a circular motion then brought them behind her neck and felt for the pressure point. Rei's eyes flew open briefly before unconciousness claimed her. Mamoru looked up to see Yuuichirou in the room, watching. "I knew you couldn't betray that blonde ditz for Rei." was all he said.  
  
  
  
Mamoru stood, seeing Yuuichirou with his fists clenched. "Yuuichirou..."  
  
  
  
Yuuichirou knelt next to Rei. "Go Mamoru, just go. I'll undress her and make her think that a good time was had by all. I will not betray you. I love her Mamoru, and I will protect her."  
  
  
  
Mamoru laid his hand on Yuuichirou's shoulder and smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you." then paused. "Perhaps I can help."  
  
  
  
Yuuichirou arched an eyebrow. "I'm listening."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I know what you are trying to do." Usagi said as she looked at Ami in the eyes.  
  
  
  
"And what are you going to do?"   
  
  
  
"Go forth. I cannot change the past, nor would I if I could. That is me. Those are the truths I have hidden from myself to ease the burden. I accept that. I accept who I am and I will try harder. What else can I do?"  
  
  
  
Ami smiled and stood away from her, holding the bowl of memories tightly. She turned to Chronos who appeared and smiled. "Kneel." he commanded.  
  
  
  
Usagi knelt before Chronos as he poured the bowl of memories out. "You are washed clean of false pride and sin. You are washed clean of who you once were. You are pure in all things. You have passed your first Trial."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Helios and Chibi Usa lay together entwined in the aftermath of passion, plotting, scheming, planning Usagi's downfall, planning her demise, planning all that could and would be theirs. Luna slept at their feet, content. Dark plans and dark purposes shrouded the two, and they did not see the light that was watching them, tears on a pale face, and despair in a purified heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So endeth this chapter! I hope you liked! Remember no flames! Good reviews and ratings! Read and review but BE KIND! I don't write if people are nasty and evil creatures! More coming soon! Hope this chapter doesn't suck as much as I think it does!  
  
Ja! 


	12. I have to stand and choose

Here is my latest offering, and once again I pray it's not as bad as I think it is! Terribly sorry about the delay and all that. Standard disclaimers, good review and ratings. No flames. If anyone sent an email to old address serenitas@sailormoonr.com and I didn't respond, I'm sorry but that email is no longer working, so if you could send it to my new one of serenitai@sailormoon.com or serenitas@usagiandmamoru.com I'd appreciate it. If Moon Angel reads this, I'd be thrilled for you to use my poem Struggle in your story, and am honoured. Part of the delay in getting this chapter out is I was on involuntary strike until Amethyst Serenity updated Farewell, which she has done and therefore sent me a death threat via email! Ok, enough rambling and on with the story!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi reappeared in her living room and noticed only Minako was there, dozing in a chair by the lamp as the sun began to rise in the sky. She cleared her throat slighty and Minako leapt to her feet. "Usagi!" she exclaimed seeing her standing there. With a wail of relief she flung herself into Usagi's arms and began to cry. "I thought you would die!"  
  
  
  
"Thanks so much for that vote of confidence." Usagi said dryly as she disentangled herself from Minako's grip. She looked around her apartment. "Where is Haruka and Michiru?"  
  
  
  
"You have to stop them Usagi! Setsuna and Hotaru showed up and all they said was that they were going horse hunting. I have no idea what they meant by that but it can't be good! Haruka just got this evil grin on her face and pulled her space sword saying she'd shove it where it wouldn't heal and Michiru laughed in a tone I have never heard. Quickly, you must stop them! I think they are going for Chibi Usa as well. Come on!" Minako bounded for the door, ignoring Usagi's sigh.  
  
  
  
"Minako stop." Usagi said in a quiet yet commanding voice that froze Minako to the spot. "Do you have any idea what I have just been through? I have been through a Trial, I have faced parts of myself I didn't even know existed and I have no time to go hunting my senshi to stop them from giving Helios and Chibi Usa a sound thrashing that quite frankly they deserve. Do I feel remorse? Not a bit. Do I feel pity? Not a shred. They are going to strip everything that I am from me and force me to do things I don't want and I have no intention of letting them. Haruka and the others are going to make my life a little easier so just sit down and relax."  
  
  
  
Minako's eyes welled up with tears again as she stared at her best friend. "Usagi I don't understand this, I don't understand you. How can you let this happen? How can you be so cold? She is your CHILD!"  
  
  
  
"No, she isn't. She is not my child, she is the child born of me in another time and place. She doesn't belong to me." Usagi replied.  
  
  
  
Minako struggled to understand, fought to keep herself on an equal balance with Usagi and failed. She wanted things to go back to the way they were, running late to school, failing tests together, going to the arcade and flirting, shopping and giggling over silly secrets, being yelled at by Rei and then forgiven an instant later. She had no concept of this kind of life, of work and bills and Trials and responsibility. She couldn't handle it, her teen years were for joy, for play, for fun. Usagi had left her and begun her final transformation into a Queen. Minako had always known that she would be Queen but had never given any thought to how Usagi would have to change to become Queen of All. Now she knew. To be a Queen she had to leave her past behind her and Minako was part of her past. "I don't understand any of this." Minako said in a harsh whisper. "I just know that you are cold now. You once were so full of life and love and now there is nothing inside you but cold hatred. She is just a little girl Usagi who doesn't know any better. Rei is not power hungry and does not seek your downfall, this is just a disagreement that can be fixed easily with an apology from you. She is sorry she threw you out of the senshi..."  
  
  
  
"Did she seem sorry when she whipped you? When she told you of her plans for my downfall?" Usagi arched an eyebrow. "When she openly acknowledged Chibi Usa as her leader? No Minako, make no excuses for what has been done, and if you persist then perhaps I will rethink my stance on accepting you back into the fold." Usagi crossed her arms in front of her. "Now I am tired and want to rest and mourn for what I lost tonight. You are welcome to stay in the spare bedroom or go back to Rei. Either choice matters little to me. I am beyond caring now." Leaving Minako slack jawed and staring at her in astonishment, Usagi turned and walked into her bedroom and quietly shut the door. Laying on her bed she curled herself into a tiny ball and let the tears fall at last. "I can't be that horrid, I just can't!" was the only coherent thing she whispered for a long time after.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rei came to slowly aware of another body next to hers, aware of big hands running themselves reverently over her body. "Mamo-chan." she murmured. "You're amazing."  
  
  
  
Mamoru said nothing, just continued his quiet worship of her body, needing no words for Rei to see the desire that burned in his eyes, desire for her. He lowered his lips to hers as his hands caressed her flesh and Rei purred in agreement. He moved his lips to her neck and Rei arched her head back to give him better access. His lips moved to her breasts and Rei thought she would go mad both at the thought and at the sight of him finally treating her the way she deserved. To hell with Usagi, to hell with loyalty, for this feeling she would sell her soul. "You finally realize that it is me you crave right?" she gasped out.  
  
  
  
Mamoru lifted his head from his pleasurable task and looked deeply into her eyes. "I have craved you since I first laid eyes on you, want for you burning inside me like a fire underneath my skin. I think you are the most gorgeous and incredible thing that I have ever seen and these past years have been hell, having you so close but never being able to touch you."  
  
  
  
Rei saw the truth of his words, heard them in his passioned yet husky voice. Grabbing his hair in both hands she pulled his head up to hers and kissed him deeply. "Take me now." she commanded. "I cannot wait any longer for you."  
  
  
  
Mamoru didn't hesitate, swiftly sheathing himself inside her and beginning an impassioned pace with Rei that left her screaming for more. She was coming closer to her pinnacle, closer to ecstasy...."Yuuichirou!" she cried out as she came to pieces around him and swiftly fell asleep.   
  
  
  
Yuuichirou let the glamour that Mamoru had placed upon him fade at last. In the heat of passion she had cried his name, his name and not Mamoru's. She did love him. Lowering his head, he wiped at the tears and quickly pulled away from her, leaving her sprawled across the cushions like a pagan goddess of old. "If I never have another moment with you, then at least I had this night." he whispered as he kissed her forehead and left. He sent a thanks to Mamoru and left Rei, possibly with his child inside.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ami blinked as she shook her head trying to clear it. "Ames, what's wrong?" Makoto asked, concerned.  
  
  
  
Ami shook her head then sighed. "Have you ever felt like there was something you really should be remembering but can't?"  
  
  
  
"Ever since this whole mess began? Constantly." Makoto answered rolling onto her back and staring up at the stars. "We never really look at the stars do we?"  
  
  
  
"Mako-chan," Ami began softly. "I have made my choice and final decision on who I am going to back and openly support."  
  
  
  
Makoto turned her head almost lazily to face Ami. "You are going to Usagi of course."  
  
  
  
"How did you know that?" Ami breathed.  
  
  
  
"I could see it in your eyes Ami. Usagi was your first friend. She gave you some of the greatest gifts you have ever received and I knew you couldn't abandon her."  
  
  
  
"And you Mako-chan?"  
  
  
  
"I cannot make myself trust her Ami and that is the crux of the situation. I have been wounded in battle too many times to trust her, Rei is power hungry, Rei is insane, but Rei and Chibi Usa are far better leaders. I don't worry about sudden, instant and immediate death when I follow them, and sadly no force on earth could bring me to trust Usagi as a leader." she paused. "What changed your mind?"  
  
  
  
  
Ami shook her head. "I'm not certain...it's just a feeling that I have and I know it's right."  
  
  
  
"I shall miss you my friend." Makoto said simply. "Go now, while Rei is occupied this night."  
  
  
  
Ami hesitated. "I can't just leave you here Makoto."  
  
  
  
"You can and you will. As of now you are a traitor to the Senshi ways and I will see you punished for it. As a remnant of loyalty to you, I give you a head start." Makoto replied.   
  
  
  
Ami hugged her friend and whispered in her ear. "You talk a good story Makoto, pity I didn't believe a word of it. Be careful, for double agents can be killed just as easily as those who turned outright."  
  
  
  
Makoto looked taken aback for a moment then smiled. "Go on Ami. Get out of here."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Haruka cracked her knuckles. "Time to kick some ass." she said with an almost demonic grin on her face. "We're gonna beat up horse-boy, we're gonna beat up horse-boy!" she sang.  
  
  
  
Hotaru looked at Michiru who was looking more than a little frightened at Haruka. "'Ruka, I haven't seen you this eager to hurt someone since Seiya was here."   
  
  
  
Haruka blinked her blue eyes at Michiru in an innocent way. "Do I seem more than a little angry? Terribly sorry about all this, but I'm going to take a pound of flesh out of Horn-head's hide before turning to the Pink Plague and having a go at her."  
  
  
  
"After me you come first." Setsuna said quietly. "I want to have my fair turn at them to. This Orb isn't just for unlocking Time Gates anymore, but it also makes a good beating stick."  
  
  
  
Hotaru's hands curled around her Glaive. "Chibi Usa will pay and Helios can go to hell for all I care."  
  
  
  
"If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise...." Haruka sang, almost giddy at being able to avenge her Princess at last. If it were anyone other than the Outers she would be composed and calm and surly, but since these were her closest friends, she could show what she was really feeling.  
  
  
  
They saw Chibi Usa and Helios rolling over each other in a sick parody of love. "Kinda look like two cats in a sack don't they?" Haruka commented idly.  
  
  
  
"More like a set of humping hippos." Hotaru said as she turned her head, fighting nausea. "That's sick."  
  
  
  
Setsuna rested a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go."  
  
  
  
The quartet moved forward to the couple on the bed who were unaware that they were there. Haruka's smile was terrifying, matched by the flames that danced in Michiru's eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi was aware she was not alone. She opened her eyes to see red eyes staring back at her. "Kakyuu?" she yawned.  
  
  
  
Kakyuu nodded and smiled. "I am the guide for your second Trial."  
  
  
  
"Tonight? But I..."  
  
  
  
"Time waits for no woman Usagi, you least of all." Kakyuu replied. "Get up, come on, we have things to do."  
  
  
  
Usagi stumbled out her bed and followed Kakyuu through the shining silver door that had appeared in her room, and waited once again. Kakyuu returned to her and gestured to a set of three rings behind her. "This Trial is for what is. You have a limited amount of time to suceed and get to one of the other rings to save yourself. Failure means death." she held out a jar that had a misty substance inside it that writhed and fought to get out. "This jar holds your soul, if ever it is broken, so goes your soul. The way back will come but once, beware."  
  
  
  
"I've got alot to lose, but I have to stand and choose." Usagi whispered. She stepped towards the ring on the left and as she passed through it, a cold sensation swept through her and then she knew nothing more.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And that ends Chapter 12! As I said no flames please, good reviews and ratings and I do hope that this wasn't too terrible and horrible! Remember I am accepting fanfic submissions on my websites, any and all things are accepted so please submit, not just SM, but any fanfics like Harry Potter or Ranma or whatever. So please submit and check out my websites at http://adundra.tripod.com/Adundra and http://serenitai.tripod.com/serenitaisanimekingdomandotherstuffpage/  
  
Ja! 


	13. I ask for nothing

Hello all! Here is yet another chapter of my story! I haven't been in a writing mood lately and that is why this chapter is late. To those who pointed out that it is rather Robert Jordanesque, you're right! I never even noticed or thought of that until after it was written...the rings and all that. I had forgotten. Well no plagarism or infrigement on Robert Jordan intended! In any case, I am accepting fanfics on my websites, so please feel free to submit! Check out my websites! Read and review but be kind please! Enjoy this latest offering! And thank you to everyone who read my author's notes and gave me support and confidence and encouragement. I give a personal thanks to each and every one of you! Thank you so much! And now....the chapter you've been waiting for...at last!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The cold seemed to penetrate Usagi to the bones, her mind a muddled mass of nothingness. Slowly, too slowly, the world came back into focus. Unlike the first Trial, she retained memory, her sense of self. Movement to her right brought her head around, and she stood face to face with yet another of her Senshi. "Makoto." she murmured as she walked towards the girl slowly. Makoto's normally warm and laughing eyes held an unrestrained fury in them as she paused several feet away from her.   
  
  
  
  
  
"You." was all Makoto said bitterly. "So full of pretentious visions, so full of yourself. You care nothing for the common person, you think only of you."  
  
  
  
Usagi blinked, unprepared for this attack from Makoto. She had heard it enough from Rei, but to hear it from her loyal friend was a bit much for her to bear. "I'm sorry you think that Makoto, but there is no proof of that." she said calmly, priding herself on being able to stay calm under the blunt attack.  
  
  
  
  
Makoto's eyes narrowed as her lips curled into a smirk. "Is that so? Perhaps a wager would not go amiss here?"  
  
  
  
  
Usagi eyed her askance. She knew that during the Trials it was not her actual senshi, but Makoto would never act like this towards her. "A wager?"   
  
  
  
  
Makoto nodded firmly. "A wager my dear. If I show you proof that you care only for yourself and nothing for others, then you will stay here in this moment for the rest of Time. If you show me evidence to the contrary, you are free to go, if you can get past the other Guardian who awaits you here."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi was startled. Two Trials in one? Could she handle that? No turning back now, and her time was limited in this place. "Agreed."   
  
  
  
  
Makoto swiftly walked towards her, her dress of the deepest forest green billowing around her, making her appear a forest nymph who had come to play, if not for the cold fury burning deep in her eyes. She took Usagi by the hand and said nothing, just waved her arm in front of her. ~Look~ the thought came into Usagi's mind unbidden. She watched and her jaw dropped as she realized that this was a wager that she cold very well lose.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"We're gonna beat up horse-boy!" Haruka hummed to herself as they prepared to enter the room where Chibi Usa and Helios were quite absorbed in each other. Luna slept on gently, not seeing a set of blue eyes watching her from a dark corner, narrowed into slits. "Allow me this honour of breaking down the door."  
  
  
  
  
  
With a feral grin on her face Haruka kicked down the door which fell in shards to the floor. Luna leapt to her feet, Helios and Chibi Usa frozen in an almost comical position, the looks on their faces pure fury and humiliation. Without a word Setsuna waved her Orb and brought it crashing down upon the centre of the bed, separating them. Helios rose with rage in his eyes, preparing to launch himself at the intruders only to find himself on the business end of Hotaru's Glaive, a merciless and cold look in her dark eyes. Chibi Usa scowled and stood, not caring that she was naked and began muttering words to which Michiru stopped when she effectively gagged her with one of her gloves.  
  
  
  
  
  
"This will get you nowhere." Helios said very carefully as Hotaru moved the tip of her Glaive into his throat, nicking him ever so slightly. "Why not come taste the glory of winning and join us? This *could* be forgiven and forgotten if you serve us."  
  
  
  
  
"Over my cold, dead body." Haruka said in a voice that radiated flames. "You little....demon spawned, horned traitor!"  
  
  
  
  
Helios smiled enigmatically. "The world needs my Maiden, it does not need the Ditz." he shook his head. "She deserves all she gets, she needs to be taken down a few pegs, she needs to have everything taken from her and realize that she never should have treated the Maiden the way she has. She will pay for all she has done."  
  
  
  
  
Michiru cracked her knuckles, a contrast to Haruka. Haruka radiated fury and flames, Michiru was calmness and ice. Setsuna and Hotaru were liquid death. "Give me a reason." Hotaru said in a whisper. "Give me a reason and I swear to you I will."  
  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa had wrested Michiru's glove from her mouth. "How dare you attack your sovreign! On your knees now!"  
  
  
  
  
"I'd rather roast in hell." Setsuna replied.   
  
  
  
  
"Usagi has crossed me and ruined my plans once and for all!" Chibi Usa ranted. "She has taken my Mamo-"  
  
  
  
  
"You little whore." Michiru said in a voice colder than the deepest winter night. "Do you not realize that by attempting to seduce your own father you are commiting incest? By the sheer fact that you claim to want him BEFORE he is your father makes no sense, he is your father in all times. You seduce him, you are never born...on the other hand that is a bonus if you do succeed. You are too foolish to make this grandstanding power play against Usagi."  
  
  
  
  
"She is too stupid to be taken seriously." Chibi Usa waved a hand, sniffing derisivley. "I am the true, the one, and the only Queen that is needed. I MIGHT be persuaded to excuse this awful lapse in judgement if you submit to me now. Fear me and revere me, and I will bring you what Usagi cannot." she shook her head. "And Hotaru, truly I expected better from you."  
  
  
  
  
If looks could kill...but perhaps they could. Hotaru visibly swallowed as she met Chibi Usa's eyes. Clashing. Painful. Red upon black. Friend versus friend. Betrayal. Pain. Emotions flew between them swifter than could have been though and Hotaru lifted her Glaive from Helios' throat, causing him to breathe a sigh of relief. Chibi Usa smiled triumphantly. "Chibi Usa," she began in a small voice. "I am truly, very, horribly sorry for all of this." she said in a small voice.   
  
  
  
The Outers were staring at her with something akin to horror as Luna laughed triumphantly in the background and Helios moved towards Chibi Usa, only to go flying back as Haruka's fist made contact with his ribs, effectively knocking the wind out of him. "Ah Hotaru, you are weak willed and weak spirited. No wonder your father used you to house Mistress 9, you are good for nothing better. I take you back of course, you can be my confidante and lapdog." Chibi Usa smiled. "Come to me Hotaru."  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru turned until she faced Chibi Usa. "Are you INSANE?" Haruka hissed from behind her, having punched Helios in the eye as he tried once more to get to Chibi Usa. She was currently twisting his arm behind his head in a most unnatural and what appeared to be a painful fashion.   
  
  
  
  
"I'm so sorry." Hotaru repeated, her eyes downcast, her head lowered as she stared at the floor. Her Glaive swung through the air, an arc of death and came to rest at the wide eyes and nose of Chibi Usa. "Or perhaps not." she said in a dead voice. "You user. You betrayer. You are prepared to commit matricide, all for no reason, nothing good will come of this. In the future where you rule it is a cold and dead place, people having fled your presence. There is no love in you, you rule over a dead and abandoned world."  
  
  
  
  
Haruka let out a brief cheer as she released Helios' left leg from where she had been attempting to wrap it around his throat. His pleas for mercy went unnoticed by her, as Setsuna gripped her Orb in two hands and prepared to have some batting practice on him. Michiru had turned her attention to Luna and was stalking the cat across the room.  
  
  
  
  
"It's not true!" Chibi Usa protested as Hotaru moved her Glaive closer.   
  
  
  
  
Hotaru brought her hands up the Glaive so her lips were close to Chibi Usa's ears. "You know what I can do now?" she whispered hotly. "A power Usagi taught me, the bringer of life and death. I can suck your soul out from you should I so desire. Your next words could be your last. I can sever your string of life so easily, snuff that evil light that gleams in your eyes, destroy you before you destroy all that is precious and valuable in this world." she paused. "Yet I will not, for if I take your miserable life in cold blood, I become no better than you. No Chibi Whore I will not kill you, nor will I curse you. Instead, I grant you LIFE."  
  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa's body trembled with terror at Hotaru's quiet yet firm words. "You cannot stop me."  
  
  
  
  
"You go near her," Michiru began. "And our wrath is the least of what you have to face. You attempt to kill her and we will kill you ourselves. You try to rape her, and the fate that awaits you will make the firey pits of hell seem like a gentle dream."  
  
  
  
  
Setsuna looked up from where she had been using Helios as a pinata, Haruka holding him above her head. "Your mother and father want to have some words with you my dear, and it is time you returned to the future where you belong."  
  
  
  
  
"Not just yet." Chibi Usa sneered in a dark voice. "You have no idea of the mistake you have made, of the powers you have crossed, of the destruction I am about to unleash. Chaos will seem like nothing by the time that I am done!" she raised her hands above her head. "You have not seen the last of me or mine! We will overthrow the useless one, the usurper, the one who dared to curse me with this life and I will have ALL that belongs to me! All that is hers will be mine! The future belongs to me!"  
  
  
  
  
"You flamingo haired nutjob," Haruka shook her head as she threw Helios on the bed, his body contorted into a ball, having been beaten rather badly. "You cannot win."  
  
  
  
"We will see." Chibi Usa smiled cruelly as she snapped her fingers. "Luna, come!" she commanded. Luna, who was most occupied with avoiding Michiru who was trying to swat her like a fly bounded onto the bed. "Until next time!" Chibi Usa said gleefully as she vanished with a pain stricken Helios and Luna.  
  
  
  
  
"Knew I should've taken her first." was all Haruka said as they sighed, their message clearly delivered. They did not notice the streak of white that bounded out of the room to avoid detection.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi watched, for there was nothing else she could do.   
  
  
  
**A little girl being held on her mother's lap. "Mama do you think we will be saved soon?" "Of course my child. There is Hope out there and she loves us. Hang on for one more day and perhaps we will find food then." the woman in rags held her child closer.  
  
  
  
**A young boy knelt on the floor, his face raised to the sky. "Hope I know you can hear me, wherever you are. I am afraid to die. Save me, as you save the senshi. I care nothing for youma, but I fear the pain that comes with this disease..."  
  
  
  
**"Hope my love has been bought and sold. I'm only sixteen but I feel a hundred years old. My foster father went and took me, I ran away, the street life isn't better but at least I do get paid."   
  
  
  
  
**"Hope you save us from youma, you keep us going and burn in our hearts. Yet where are now?"  
  
  
  
**"Hope we are nothing but outcasts, please help us. We have been hungry since birth. Show us mercy that we cannot find on earth. Help us people, we look to you still... Hope please help us because no one else will."  
  
  
  
**"I do not ask for wealth, or ask for fame, I do not want glory to shine on my name. I only want love that I cannot possess, I ask for you to bless me."  
  
  
  
  
**"I ask for nothing, I can get by, but there are so many more that are not as lucky as I. Please help us Hope, we are poor and downtrod. I thought we all were defended by you."  
  
  
  
  
**"She is so strong, she saves us from youma, she keeps us safe, she watches over us always." "Ah but my child, do youma ever truly bother us? How do you know she is watching? Will she know if you die? Will she care? You are not one of her chosen, not one of her senshi, why should she bother with us?"  
  
  
  
On and on the images came, the pleas, the desperation, the sorrow that Usagi thought she had prevented, but in truth had only made worse. For all her banishing of Chaos, for all of her fighting of youma, it mattered nothing to these people who were beaten, starving, abused. She raised her eyes to Makoto, who had triumph in her gaze. "Do you still deny that you are not conceited? Do you dare to tell me that you are not self absorbed? These are the poverty stricken, the godless, the children of opression, an opression you have failed to banish. Do you dare face me and the truth and tell me that you have the thoughts of the greater good, of the people in your heart?" she sneered.  
  
  
  
  
"Yes." Usagi replied honestly. "I did not know about this, I did not know that my notoriety has carried me so far, that people pray to me and yearn for me and desire me to alleviate all their ills. I am not a Goddess, I have not that power, but everything I have done, I have done with my whole heart and soul. I want only to protect, to save, I do not want suffering and my heart bleeds for all those people. WHen I assume my throne, I will see that every person on this planet is looked after, and no one goes hungry or cold, but until then my hands are tied."   
  
  
  
"Words. Words mean little here." she gestured to an hourglass. "The sands of Time pour against you conceited one. You have failed to convince me."  
  
  
  
Usagi closed her eyes and let her crescent moon shine brightly. "I will save all of them, every single one of them. I know my failings. I have tried so hard and not succeeded, but I will. I am a failure thus far, but that only means I can grow more. I have made many errors, but they can be rectified. I will protect this planet with all that I am. With all of the love here in my heart and all of the strength in my hands. I have only the good of the people in mind."  
  
  
  
  
Makoto backed up from the heartfelt words and eyed her, assessing her. Judging her. "So you do." she said finally. "You are free to pass from here. Time grows short and you have yet to convince the Guardian to let you out of here. Remember the wager is still in effect. You have little time before the hourglass is empty and you will remain here for the rest of Time." she paused. "I look forward to the company."  
  
  
  
Usagi said nothing, but turned and rapidly strode towards what she thought must be a way out, a clearing that was lined by trees, perfectly spaced out, perfectly aligned. The unnaturalness in this place made it seem natural. She ran towards the endless blue where it merged with the green, a world in itself, and skidded to a stop when the Guardian came out.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well that ends that! Thanks to everyone for your patience, I just haven't felt much like writing this past week, what with all that is going on here. I do hope this chapter wasn't sucky crap! I do hope you enjoyed. Read and review but be kind.   
  
Ja ne! 


	14. Deny me if you think you can

Well hello again! Here is the latest for Watch Me Shine which I hope isn't sucky crap as usual! Sorry it's been so long, but with work and vacation, well...just not much time. That and inspiration has been hard to come by these days. So without further ado...my next chapter! Standard disclaimers apply, I own nothing. I am a broke and defeated English teacher in Japan. Sue my company not me. (PS - don't work for AEON any potential english teachers!). Read and review but be kind and check out my websites ne? Enjoy! Oh and it was pointed out that in her last Trial the song was similar to one from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I wouldn't know, I have never seen it, but no infrigement on Disney either if the words were the same!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi skidded to a halt as a figure came out of the shadows. Her time was short and she had no time for cryptic gatekeepers. "You seek to leave?" the voice was melodious.  
  
  
  
  
"I do." she replied shortly, burdened and weary for the Trial she had just completed. Would this never end?   
  
  
  
  
"Then answer this question. If you tell me what I want to hear, you may pass and be free. You tell me a lie or any answer other than the truth and I attack."  
  
  
  
"What if my honest answer isn't what you want to hear?"  
  
  
  
"Then you are doomed." the voice replied curtly. "Make no mistake that in this place of life and death I reign supreme." the figure slowly started to become visible. "I am judge," a bit more of her was seen. "-jury-" closer....she could almost make out her features..."and executioner." she stood visible. Hotaru, in a dress of the deepest blood red stood before her, her hand clutched firmly around her Glaive.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rei awoke at the kick to her ribs. Closing her eyes, she smiled blissfully. It worked! By the Goddess it worked! She had seduced Mamoru. "Rei you wanton whore." a cold voice said.  
  
  
  
Rei opened her purple eyes slowly, angrily. She beheld the livid red gaze of Chibi Usa and the mangled, battered sight of Helios. "Oh it's you." she sighed.  
  
  
  
"You fool." Chibi Usa snarled. "You were unsuccessful." she shook her head. "The plan was perfect! How could you fail to seduce him and conceive me?"  
  
  
  
Rei placed a hand on her abdomen. "What ARE you talking about? There is life within me. I feel it."  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa turned from her in anger. "The child you now carry is not me! You will spawn some other man's child!"  
  
  
  
"Listen here you Tiny Toad," Rei breathed, fury lacing her words. "Do not cross me. I succeeded in our plan. I had Chiba Mamoru last night and it was good!"  
  
  
  
"Oh you had some man last night but it wasn't Mamoru." Helios said weakly. "You both underestimated how devious Endymion can be and how devoted he is to the pale eyed demonette."  
  
  
  
"He turned to me!" Rei protested. "I have it all - she has nothing!"  
  
  
  
"So you think." Helios retorted. "My Maiden - beloved. I can direct you and this fool here in the proper plans to take and bring about the downfall of the false Queen, but you must do EXACTLY as I say - without question or hesitation."  
  
  
  
  
"I follow no one Helios." Chibi Usa said in a cold voice. "I am a law unto myself, I am a Queen and I bend knee to no one!"  
  
  
  
"Bravo my liege!" Luna cheered from where she had been sitting silently.  
  
  
  
"Then let me advise you - strongly." Helios amended.  
  
  
  
"THAT I can allow." Chibi Usa conceded.  
  
  
  
"I am her Majesty's advisior! I am her ears and eyes!" Luna protested.  
  
  
  
"You had best find out what Usagi has planned Luna or you will have no eyes." Rei threatened.  
  
  
  
"I am most disappointed in you Rei." Chibi Usa sighed. "Unable to successfully reclaim my ginzuishou - it is being soiled in her hands, by her careless use of it. Unable to maintain your grip on my senshi - do you have any idea how hard I am going to have to work to get them back?" she shook her head in disgust. "And you SOMEHOW managed to lose Artemis."  
  
  
"That was not my fault!" Rei protested.  
  
  
  
"The best excuse is no excuse." Helios said coldly.  
  
  
  
"The point Rei," Chibi Usa said sadly. "Is that you are a hindrance to us. Unless I get some success out of you - and soon - you will be disposed of."  
  
  
  
Rei looked horrified at the thought. "How dare you?" she began, livid. "You'd never have gotten this far without me!"  
  
  
  
"You are power hungry - you were, you are and you always will be. You betray those in power so your own can grow." Helios smirked. You have proven that you are not to be trusted."  
  
  
  
Rei tried to get a word in edgewise. "And so the circle is complete." Chibi Usa said with satisfaction.  
  
  
  
"I will NOT let you throw me out like trash!" Rei yelled. "We are all in this deep and if Usagi gets ahold of us - we're dead!"  
  
  
  
"Never mind Usagi, beware that lunatic Haruka." Helios muttered.  
  
  
  
"And I still have Ami and Makoto!" Rei protested. "They have their parts to play!"   
  
  
"Yes they HAVE been underutilized." Chibi Usa pondered aloud. "Very well Rei - I give you one final chance..."  
  
  
  
"I say the same to you." she sneered.   
  
  
  
"Tsukino Usagi," Chibi Usa declared, ignoring all of them. "Deny me if you think you can, but I will corrupt you." her eyes lit up with the joy of a new plan as she smiled in a most malicious way.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi eyed Hotaru with caution in her eyes. "What is this question, for time is running out."  
  
  
  
  
"Time is running out yes." Hotaru agreed. "Very well. You have nothing left, no friends, no allies and no hope. Take of all that away and what is left?"  
  
  
  
  
Usagi frowned as she pondered one of her most feared questions, a dark question. She had often wondered what she would do when there was nothing and no one left for her. "Take all of it away and what is left?" she repeated. Hotaru nodded grimly, determined to do her duty.   
  
  
  
  
"Time grows short, and you must answer me now." Hotaru said grimly as she adjusted her grip on her Glaive. "What is your answer?"  
  
  
  
  
"Me." Usagi replied.  
  
  
  
  
Hotaru blinked at her and then smiled. "You are correct. When there is nothing and no one left, you have only yourself. Remember that, for the days ahead are dark and you will be tested far more than what I have done here."  
  
  
  
  
Usagi nodded. "Thank you."  
  
  
  
"Don't let me down." Hotaru stood aside. "The exit and your freedom."   
  
  
  
Usagi sprinted towards the way out, the sands through the hourglass almost running out. She leapt towards the round circle of light that she saw as the world was engulfed in white light.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Whispers came through first. "Do you think we should wake her?"  
  
  
  
  
"I'm not touching her, you do it."  
  
  
  
  
"She DID just finish a Trial, perhaps we should leave her."  
  
  
  
  
"Is she dead?"  
  
  
  
"Do you really think that she would be returned to us dead?" scorn and disbelief were in a voice that was trying to whisper.  
  
  
  
"Well you never know with these Guardian-testy types!" a voice protested softly.  
  
  
  
"She needs her rest."  
  
  
  
"Should we at least lift her off the floor?"  
  
  
  
"Oh move over, I'll carry her to her bed."  
  
  
  
"Just you hold one minute lover boy! You keep your groping paws to yourself!"  
  
  
  
Usagi cracked open an eye, praying she wouldn't burst out laughing. Minako, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru and Mamoru stood before her. "Oh my head." she moaned softly.  
  
  
  
Haruka smacked Mamoru on the back of his head. "Now see what you did Dingus! You woke her up!"  
  
  
  
"I didn't wake her up, you did!" Mamoru protested.  
  
  
  
"I most certainly did not!" Haruka retorted.  
  
  
  
"Ouch, I'm wounded." Mamoru clutched his chest.  
  
  
  
"Keep it up Mamoru, and you'll get what I gave to Helios." Haruka seethed.  
  
  
  
"Enough!" Usagi raised her voice and broke off the arguement. Michiru and Setsuna looked at her gratefully. "I would most like a shower and then some sleep, if someone could please help me up."  
  
  
  
Hotaru went to grasp one of Usagi's hands and check her health at the same time. "Haruka would you move so I can get to Usagi?"  
  
  
  
"No problem." Haruka replied.  
  
  
  
A pause. "As in now?" Hotaru arched an eyebrow.   
  
  
  
"Oh, sorry." Haruka moved aside.  
  
  
  
Usagi shut her eyes and let herself reflect on all that she had been through, on all that had been done. There was a hidden message behind each Trial, one that she had to figure out herself, but she was just so exhausted...just wanted to sleep...in some ways... Usagi abruptly stood and headed for her room. "I have to work tomorrow, assuming I still have a job, I am exhausted and I want rest. I am going to shower now, when I come out, don't be here." she said as she closed the door.  
  
  
  
"Usagi!" Minako yelled.  
  
  
  
"I want to be alone for awhile!" Usagi said through the door.   
  
  
  
"Come on Usagi, let's talk about this!" Minako persisted. "You always talk to us!"  
  
  
  
"Things change Minako!" Usagi replied hotly. "Please just let me be for a bit."  
  
  
  
"Come on," Setsuna said softly. "She's been through alot these past few days. Let her rest."  
  
  
  
"I will stay with her." Mamoru replied.  
  
  
  
"Over my dead body." Haruka informed him. "Come on Lothario, you are leaving too."  
  
  
"But..."   
  
  
  
"No defiling of innocents today Mamoru." Michiru added.  
  
  
  
"I just want to comfort her!" Mamoru protested. "Stop being so ecchi!"  
  
  
  
"Us be ecchi?" Haruka raised an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me while I inform you that...." the voices were cut off as the door slammed shut behind them. Usagi sighed in the now quiet bedroom. Falling back on her bed, she went to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Can there be any doubt of this?" Ami asked Artemis as he finished telling her what he knew.  
  
  
  
"None." he shook his head. "I knew there was a force behind this making Rei and Chibi Usa act so wrong. Rei has always craved power, always been a close minded and cranky person.."  
  
  
  
"You mean a power starved bitch?" Makoto interjected casually.  
  
  
  
"That's the one." Artemis nodded. "But not even her will is this dark."  
  
  
  
"Oh isn't it?" Makoto said darkly. "I don't know about that."  
  
  
  
"Either way, Chibi Usa is the evil one, but there is one worse than her. What has been done is that tantilizing promises of their deepest and most desperate desires have been whispered into their ears, some of what they yearn for has been made possible and they want more. Chibi Usa never cared for her mother, it was always Mamoru she cared about. There is nothing good to say about that child for I know not what part of Usagi and Mamoru could have come together to create her."  
  
  
  
"Join the club." Makoto added, staring out the window.   
  
  
  
"What do we do about this?" Ami sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers and shut her eyes.  
  
  
  
"That plan I haven't devised yet." Artemis admitted.  
  
  
  
"Do you think Usagi knows what is going on?"   
  
  
  
  
"I don't know." Artemis shook his head. "The one person you'd least suspect to do this is the one who is trying to kill her."  
  
  
  
"A mystery indeed."  
  
  
  
  
  
(A.N - I was going to finish this chapter here, but since it's been so long since I updated and I've gotten so many death threats...here's more!)  
  
  
  
  
  
The next morning Usagi arose stiff and sore, moaning softly. Three Trials in such a short span of time had left her feeling as though she had gone several rounds with Chaos and lost badly. Hobbling over to her dresser she pulled out her uniform and began to dress, noticing that her body seemed thinner. Figuring it was because she hadn't had a proper meal in some time she went to the bathroom to wash her face and let out a small shriek. Her eyes which had once been deep blue like the ocean (according to Mamoru) were now a pale silver blue. Her irises had taken on the shape of stars and her lovely blonde hair had a silvery sheen to it and was at least a foot longer. These changes she thought were the result of her changing when she became Sailor Moon, she had never expected it to pour over into her daily life. She stared at the face in the mirror, not recognizing her own reflection. Her eyes were set in a face that seemed much older than what she was. "Scary isn't it?"  
  
  
  
Usagi's eyes danced in her head as she whirled around to see where the voice came from. "What...who? Where are you?"  
  
  
  
"Follow the cold shiver down your spine."  
  
  
  
Usagi turned to see her reflection smirking at her. "Oh my Goddess." she breathed.  
  
  
  
  
"Indeed."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Motoki dropped a cup when Usagi slunk through the door for her shift, her head wrapped in a scarf, dark glasses over her eyes. "Usagi this isn't a bad 80's movie. Are you going to tell me your name is Martha now?"  
  
  
  
"Not funny Motoki." Usagi retorted.  
  
  
  
"Hey come on, I deserve some credit considering you didn't show up at all yesterday! I covered for you big time and you owe me."  
  
  
  
"what do you want?"   
  
  
  
"First remove the disguise." Motoki ordered. His jaw dropped when Usagi sullenly removed her scarf and glasses and he was grateful he had already dropped the cup. "Holy shite Usagi!"  
  
  
  
  
"I know, I know!" Usagi wailed. "Look at me! I'm a freak! What am I going to do?"  
  
  
  
'Best friend's girlfriend, best friend's girlfriend...' Motoki kept repeating to himself. "Freak? Usagi damn girl, you're hot!"  
  
  
  
"This is not a time to joke Motoki!" Usagi snapped giving him a death glare.  
  
  
  
"Who's joking?"   
  
  
  
Usagi sighed irritably and headed for the staff room to get an apron. It was going to be a long day.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rei glanced at the Crown Parlour, wondering what all the ruckus was about. Seeing Minako hopping around outside, she figured she'd have to start trying to get her senshi back. "Minako," she said, attempting to be nice. Minako squeaked when she saw Rei and jumped back several feet.  
  
  
  
"W..what do you want Rei? This is a public place! You can't hurt me here!" Minako said in a wavering voice, terror in her eyes.  
  
  
"If I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead." Rei said calmly. "I am giving you one last chance to change your mind and come back to me. If you do, your punishment won't be as severe as the one I am planning to dole out to the other traitors. I am the leader, I was born to be leader, I was meant to be leader. You cannot deny it. When I lead you into battle, you don't fear for your life."  
  
  
  
"There have been no battles!" Minako snapped. "You took what wasn't yours to take!"  
  
  
  
"And she took it back!" Rei snarled angrily. "She took what was mine!"  
  
  
  
"It didn't belong to you!" Minako shouted.  
  
  
  
"It should've. But for unhappy chance it should've been mine! It will be mine again!" Rei screamed at Minako. Visibly calming herself, she smiled. "I didn't come here to fight with you Minako. what is going on in there?" she gestured to the Parlour.  
  
  
  
"I don't know, something to do with a waitress inside. Everyone wants to look at her." Minako went back to hopping up and down on her toes, trying to peer inside. "I want to see her. Usagi is working today and I wanted to ask her several things."  
  
  
  
For a brief moment it was like old times, for a moment it was like this power struggle had never happened, until Rei's eyes darkened with hatred at the mention of Usagi's name, until Minako clapped her hand over her mouth cursing her loose tounge. Rei turned on her heel to leave. "Minako, you will return to the fold and to me. You will bend knee and grovel before me before I am done. Remember what spell I cast on all my senshi. I have not yet used the bond I forged, but I will now. See you tonight."  
  
  
Minako's legs gave out as she collapsed amidst the throng of people onto the pavement, clutching her head in her hands and cursing herself for ever having gotten out of bed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You bonded my senshi!?"   
  
  
  
"I am the leader." Rei said stubbornly. "I bonded them to me. I have had enough of this ridiculous garbage. I am taking back what is mine."  
  
  
  
"MINE Rei!" Chibi Usa snarled. "They are mine, you are mine, all that you see is MINE! How dare you bond them to you!"  
  
  
  
"Now can I kill her?" Helios asked eagerly.  
  
  
  
"Zip it you overgrown horned canary." Rei snapped. "I had every right to do it, you have no say in how I treat my senshi."  
  
  
  
Chibi Usa stood before Rei, though much shorter than she was, she loomed in a threatening manner that worried Rei. "I cannot condone this action Rei. You have lied and deceived me, you have failed me many time. You must be punished now."  
  
  
  
"I will not!" Rei protested.  
  
  
  
"Take her." Chibi Usa motioned to Helios. "But do not harm her greatly. The child she carries inside will be a valuable weapon to us."  
  
  
  
"You will not harm my child and you will NOT do this to me! I am the leader of the senshi and I am a Miko! Don't make me call down the punishment of the Gods!"  
  
  
  
"I will be a Goddess soon enough. I have been too lenient on you Rei, it is time you learned the price of failure." Chibi Usa smirked.  
  
  
  
"A good idea my Queen." Luna said quietly, still chagrined from her own punishment. The Trio that had led the faction to destroy the senshi and destroy Usagi were now destroying themselves. "We have to rejoin forces if we ever want to have any hope of destroying the Usurper."  
  
  
  
"Silence. I must think on this." Chibi Usa snapped. "How can I use this to my advantage?" she sat heavily in a thronelike chair and contemplated, as her eyes lit up with a vindictive joy.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Usagi was nearing the end of her shift and her patience. She was sick of people coming in and staring at her like she was some sort of circus freak, an attraction. She wanted to scream at all of them 'don't you have anything better to do?', but since it would be bad for business, she attempted to ignore them. Not an easy task. Sitting back in the staff room, she closed her eyes and glanced briefly in the mirror, remembering the disturbing conversation that had taken place that morning and how once again her life had changed.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
And that is that, nice and long in an attempt to soothe the savage beasts who I think are hunting me and clamouring for my blood. I PROMISE to update again soon, as my writers block is gone! Yay! Any guesses on who is behind the faction to kill Usagi? Go ahead and guess! As I said, read and review but be kind. NO FLAMES!!! Thank you.  
  
Ja! 


	15. Why me?

Hello all! Remember me? You can call off the bounty hunters for I have returned at last with a lovely update for you all, I hope this is getting interesting as I think it is. Heck half the time *I* don't even know what will happen next, ah the joy of words flowing without concious thought...the mark of a true author. What kept me away from my keyboard? Co-workers leaving at work, writing Harry Potter slash (yes I tried anyway), getting ready to go back to Canada and a pregnancy scare! (Negative thank God!). So with much humble meekness I give you the next offering of Watch Me Shine. Out of all the guesses for who could be behind the whole thing, only one was actually right! Thank you all who reviewed! Please read and review but be kind! No flames! Good ratings! I own nothing and if I did it would be Tom Felton and Alan Rickman!

Minako dreaded the night, dreaded feeling that tug she knew would come, the tug that would lead her to Rei, would make her move against her will, would make her do whatever Rei wanted. She waited in the silence for the inevitable. Cursing her blindness, cursing her feelings, she cursed the day she had ever thrown her support behind Rei, abandoned Usagi and had followed what she knew to be wrong. She had wanted to stay on the winning side, with those who were her friends. Eight against one had seemed so smart, and once she had realized her mistake it was too late. True, Usagi claimed she had forgiven her, but Minako had noticed that she also didn't trust her. Usagi was above her now, the plans she made Minako was kept ignorant of, the future of the senshi she did not know. Until she regained Usagi's trust, she would not be able to be the personification of the Goddess of Love. How could she make amends for what she had done?

She closed her eyes to think and felt the invisible summons. Rei was calling and she was compelled to go.

Rei sneered at the sight of her senshi. HER senshi, not Chibi Usa's no matter what the chit said. She was the leader, she was Sailor Mars, the Flame Sniper and damned if anyone was going to take from her what she had worked for three years to get: her leadership. Ami, Makoto and Minako knelt before her. Oh Minako was going to pay for her treachery make no mistake. Once she had fulfilled her usefulness she would be disposed of, once she realized the price of double crossing one who had turned it into an art form. 

"Rei, it is late and I have an examination in the morning." Ami sighed. "Can you make this snappy?"

"Do not talk to me in that way." Rei said in a cold tone that was a contrast to the fire leaping in her eyes. "You and Makoto have been underutilized and the time has come for you to make yourself useful."

"Oh do tell." Makoto muttered sarcastically.

"Since it is obvious that Usagi doesn't trust Minako for reasons that are painfully obvious to those of us with brains, you Makoto are tasked with re-befriending Usagi and finding out her plans by whatever means are necessary. If you have to take her out and torture her, then so be it."

"And how do you propose I get past Haruka?" 

"That is your own affair, I don't care what you do or how you do it, as long as I get results. You have 48 hours to do this."

Makoto said nothing but she shot Rei an venemous glare and nodded her head slowly.

"Ami you are going to put that big brain of yours to use and figure out a way to take Usagi out of the game. Thanks to Minako, our little snitch here, we know that she has completed three of her twelve Trials. I want her out of the picture before she can complete any more. She is becoming as troublesome as her mother was a thousand years ago." Rei ordered.

Ami's eyes opened wide and she began to say something but thought better of it and swallowed silently, nodding her head. 

"Minako, my traitor, my little worthless one who couldn't even get Usagi to trust her again - perhaps she has managed to grow a brain since all this began...but somehow I doubt it. No doubt it's her having those traitors Haruka and Michiru whispering in her ear that tipped her off, she certainly isn't smart enough to have known not to trust you on her own. You are to stay by my side so that I can personally retrain you. When you don't go to school, you will be here where I can keep an eye on you. Soon you will realize where your loyalty should lie." Rei instructed, an imperious air around her. 

"And what will you be doing great spiritual leader?" Makoto asked in a voice that managed to slightly veil the sneer.

"Figuring out how to take down Chibi Usa and protect my child. I do not know who the father is, nor do I care, for no matter what I will have an heir who will be worthy of my legacy." she smiled unpleasantly. "Chibi Usa and Luna have overstepped their bounds with me and now it's time for me to fight back." she turned from them. "You are dismissed."

"She's barking mad." Makoto raged once Rei was out of earshot.

"Be careful of what you say, she is no doubt listening to us this instant." Ami counselled. 

"What will we do?"

"What we have been told to do. Artemis is on the verge of finding out the true force behind all this and until then we must bide our time. Once the real power is revealed, then we can take what we know to Usagi and hopefully she will be able to concot a plan that will get rid of it once and for all." Ami sighed. "I have a calculus exam to study for now, so if you will excuse me."

Minako turned to Makoto who was seething with rage while Minako was white as a sheet. "Where did we go wrong Mako-chan?"

"When I figure that out, I'll let you know." was her terse reply.

Usagi was seriously irritated and more than happy when her shift ended if for no other reason then people would stop staring at her like she was some kind of freak - or worse - a goddess of some sort. Her eyes glazed over slightly as she recalled her conversation with the mirror. "Who are you?" she had demanded.

"Foolish girl. I'm you."

"How can you be me if I'm right here?"

"I'm the opposite side of the mirror. The part of yourself that you deny, the part of yourself you are afraid to see."

"That cannot be. I have opened up that part of myself. Indeed I have embraced it."

"Not fully you haven't. Yes you have shown your ruthlessness and power, your temper and your skill, but you have not shown your true colours yet Tsukino Usagi. You have not shown me." the reflection smirked at her.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why is any of this happening to me?" the real Usagi had wailed.

"The answer is only important if you ask the right question." the mirror replied gibly.

"The right question?" 

"Once you figure that out, you'll know it all now won't you?"

"Give me a hint, give me a sign, give me some help!" Usagi beseeched.

"Knock knock Usagi." the mirror taunted.

A knock at her door sent her whirling around and when she faced the mirror again, it was herself...her changed self but her speaking reflection was gone.

She closed her eyes and leaned back on her couch letting out a sigh. Not bothering to turn on the lights, she let herself sink into the cushions and go limp. 'Three Trials done, nine to go. I have barely managed to survive thus far, how can I continue?'

"The strength is within you, you just have to search to find it. You have come so far and done so much. I really am happy to have been proven wrong about you." a voice echoed around her apartment. Rather than being afraid and startled, Usagi groaned and threw her arm over her eyes.

"I am sick to DEATH of strange and unseen voices echoing around my apartment!" she yelled. "I have been spoken to by a mirror, I have voices following me and people appearing out of nowhere to face things I've never even heard of and I have had enough! If you can't show yourself then get the HELL out of my living room!"

"Temper temper." the voice admonished. "But I should have expected that from you given all that I have seen recently."

"Who are you?" Usagi muttered. "Not that I care."

"I am the one who is behind this entire thing." the voice was amused. "I am the one who convinced Rei to overthrow you, I am the one who fed the lunacy of your daughter and I am the one who convinced your advisor to side against you - not that it was hard."

"Why me? Out of all the people in existence, past, present and future, why me?" Usagi snarled as she sat up. "I have had a horrid day at work, I look like a freak...I don't even recognize myself anymore. All I wanted, the point of this whole thing, the reason this all began was to show the world the strength I have that sometimes can't be seen. I was tired of being walked on and I wanted respect, that's all. I didn't want to be an impersonation of Ebenzer Scrooge being visited by ghosts and spirits and people from alternate planes of existence!" she burst.

"I chose you for a very simple reason."

"Do share, since this seems to a therapy session." Usagi snapped.

"I don't think I will, not yet." the voice paused. "I'm having too much fun here."

"FUN? You're doing this so you can get your jollies?" Usagi was incredulous. "You MUST be joking me."

"Not really. You have to be found worthy in any case."

"Worthy for what? And don't give me that 'fate of the future' crap because frankly I don't believe it. Flimsy lies, paper thin shields. Can't I know the truth?" Usagi shook her head, one hand resting at the back of her neck, massaging the muscle spasm that had begun there.

"As I said, I am having too much fun to tell you. Truly you mortals are so amusing! While you lie here on this couch, your former senshi Rei is conspiring with Mercury, Jupite and a cowed Venus...thankfully you don't trust her. Your treacherous daughter is making love to a half horse man and thinking of a future in which she reigns supreme. Your former advisor is trying to figure out who I am. Uranus and Neptune are rather occupied themselves and your boyfriend is wanking off because he's deprived of your lush figure." the voice was silent for a moment. "You try to be so pure and so righteous, all of you, thinking you are justified in everything that you say and do when you are no better than bugs, to be eradicated. You were all given a priceless and precious gift and before you even knew what you had you threw it away. You are no better than the dirt beneath my feet Tsukino Usagi."

"I don't need to listen to this." Usagi said quietly, her rage building. "Get out of my apartment."

"If I go, it's because I choose to go and not because of any order that you give me." the voice sounded angry. "You and your kind have always been more self righteous than anyone else. I chose you...because I wanted to." the voice spoke again, a smile evident in the tone. "And yes I have been watching how you changed, and I appreciate the new you, the part of you that won't take crap from anyone, the part of you that has grown a backbone, the part of you that you refused to see, but until you realize who and what you really are, you take what I give you."

"Again I ask, why me? You have spoken in riddles, and told me nothing useful."

"I prefer blondes." the voice replied before it vanished. Usagi closed her eyes and sank back onto her couch, not even bothering to give it another thought. She had only one thought in her mind: 'Can the remaining nine Trials be combined together into one?' and 'Where is a bottle of tequila when you need one?'

"Well Tsukino Usagi...as I live and breathe." Haruna-sensei said sarcastically. "I was wondering when you would deign to grace me with your presence in my classroom again. Is it too much to hope for that you studied for today's exam?"

"Good to see you too sensei." Usagi muttered, ignoring the stunned looks of her classmates and wishing more than anything that Naru was here. 'Damn exchange programs.' she thought as she took her seat and ignored Makoto, Minako and Ami. She prayed she knew enough to pass this exam she had forgotten about and not studied for.

"Psst...Usagi!" Makoto hissed at her, throwing a ball of paper at her.

"Can't talk, concentrating." Usagi said in a monotone without even turning around. 

Haruna sensei passed around the examinations, pausing at Usagi's desk to make an announcement. "I do hope that your last will and testament has been properly prepared Usagi because if you fail this, your dead." 

Usagi sighed and looked her teacher right in the eye. "Have I failed anything recently?"

"Not yet Usagi," Haruna said quietly as she leaned over on the pretense of making sure that no one was watching them. "Your Trials have only just begun."

Usagi's eyes widened in shock. "What?" she whispered furiously as her mind went blank.

"I prepared a *very special* examination for you Usagi, and I do hope you pass it." Haruna winked at her. "You are my best student, the one I am proudest of and will pray for you."

Usagi couldn't think of anything to say as Haruna stood upright again and in a normal tone announced "Begin!"

She turned her eyes to her paper, but the equations and questions she expected to see were not there and she was unable to look away as the words began to swirl and her mind was sucked in while her body remained inert.

Haruna watched as Usagi began her fourth Trial and sent out a word of luck to her student, before heading towards the desk of one she knew was cheating and calling down the wrath that was Haruna.

'Here we go again.' Usagi thought as her mind was surrounded by whiteness. 'Gotta give them credit for making it interesting though.'

"I knew you'd say that Odango."

Finis! This chapter anyway! Next one up shortly as I actually have ideas and want to write them down before I bloody well forget! I write based on reviews so let's get them in here! Hope you enjoyed and please check out my websites! Any guesses who the host of her next Trial is? Anyone surprised at Haruna? still taking guesses on who you think is behind this whole thing! Remember no flames!

Ja ne!


	16. Hear my mournful cry

                Greetings strangers! Imagine my surprise when I saw that I hadn't updated in over a month! I could say curse Harry Potter but then that would just be wrong! I've written a lot of poetry recently which is on FictionPress and also updated my webpage which you should check out. So here is a humble offering of Watch Me Shine, and this time the spacing isn't screwed up! Read and review but be kind! No flames please! Standard disclaimers.

                Usagi started at the sound of the voice, or thought she did, since this was the strangest Trial yet. She was surrounded by whiteness, no feeling in the rest of her body at all, indeed she didn't think it existed in this place. "You are correct Odango," said the familiar voice and Usagi knew that voice.

            "Seiya." She breathed. "Where are you? I can't see you."

            "Your eyes will be of no use to you here, you will not need them. All of this is inside your head." Seiya's voice answered smoothly. 

            "What is this Trial?" Usagi asked wearily. "I have an exam to finish."

            "Ah yes, with the lovely Haruna-sensei. She was really most understanding when I explained what we needed her for. She has known about you for years you know, and made many exceptions. I guess you can't save a life as often as you saved hers without someone figuring it out. Isn't life funny that way?" Seiya's voice sounded amused.

            "So let us begin this Trial." Usagi said irritably. "I tire of this whole process."

            "Welll…Odango, it's not that simple…" Seiya trailed off. "As much as I would love to be the one giving this to you, I am merely the announcer so to speak and the host will be along momentarily. I feel no guilt in warning you that this could be a tricky one and here's a hint for you…"

            "Seiya." A third voice interrupted his rambling which had been both amusing and boring Usagi. "Shut up."

            "Right." Seiya agreed quickly. "Gambatte Usagi-san." Seiya told her, and then his presence was gone.

            "Now who is this?" Usagi demanded.

            "Patience my dear. Something you sorely lack." The voice was amused. "In this place, all that there is, is patience."

            Usagi knew that voice, knew it very well, for it was that voice that was the target of her rage when she cursed the very timeline itself. Setsuna.

            Chibi-Usa used so-called stealth to sneak into Usagi's apartment, pretending to be a worried little sister who desperately needed to speak to her O-nechan. Getting off at Usagi's floor, with Helios at her side she headed towards the apartment that housed the Usurper and the Thief. "Pick the lock my love." She whispered to Helios. "Such work is beneath me."

            "If only it were I." Helios replied smoothly as he slid a barrette into the lock and fiddled around with it trying to look inconspicuous. "You couldn't have also managed to steal her Luna Pen ne? Then you could turn yourself into a cat burglar or something and this would be so much easier."  
  


            "I'll thank you to keep your unwanted opinions to yourself." Chibi-Usa sniffed. "I can't think of everything."

            "Isn't that what you wanted?" He responded. "Total control?"

            "Not at the cost of being teased by you. I just want you to be proud of me sweetheart."

            "And I am pumpkin lips." He gave her a gentle kiss before opening the door and gesturing for her to enter. 

            "Where is the light switch in this blasted place?" Chibi-Usa vented as they quietly closed the door. "They are all at school now so this is the perfect time for this heist."

            "Shouldn't you be at school my Maiden?"

            "I will have a private tutor as I did in the future. School and mingling with the commoners and the rabble hold no appeal for me. I am above them, I am perfection itself and they would never be able to understand me." She gave a sad sigh. "They never did."

            "My poor dear, but you have me now." He held her briefly for a moment. "Now let's find the ginzuishou and get out of here."

            "Oh please, we have plenty of time." Chibi-Usa scoffed. "We can help ourselves to whatever we want of hers, not just my ginzuishou which she is probably using as a doorstop or something."

            Lost in their thoughts, Helios clicked on a light and blinked, waiting for his eyes to adjust. "The fool didn't even open the curtains this morning." He snorted.

            "She's a space case." Chibi-Usa turned a slow circle, taking in the furnishings and decorating skills of Usagi. "This is like the inside of a paisley wallet or something. It's horrid." She paused, looking at Helios' face. "What's wrong sugar?"

            He said nothing, his face white as snow; his jaw clenched shut and shaking as he raised a trembling finger and pointed to a spot just beyond Chibi-Usa's head. "Hello warthogs." A smooth voice said.

            "W..w…we are not warthogs." Helios stammered out, his smooth manner fading completely.

            "Oh forgive me I was getting ahead of myself." Haruka stepped out of the shadows, a smile on her face that stretched from ear to ear, Michiru taking up her right position, Setsuna strolling out of the kitchen and Hotaru popping out of the bathroom, effectively surrounding them. 

            "Oh dear we are in trouble, aren't we?" Hotaru mocked as all traces of mirth faded from her face.

            Haruka cracked her knuckles. "What say we play some games ladies? Perhaps some Throw the Space Sword at the Horny Toad? Or how about Wrap the Silence Glaive around the Red Eyed Demon?"

            "So many games to play." Michiru quipped.

            "And so little time." Setsuna sighed.

            Haruka approached them in a slow gait, a panther approaching its cornered prey. "Let's dance."

            Helios couldn't stop his trembling, his last encounter with Haruka all too vivid in his mind. Chibi-Usa lifted her chin proudly. "Hit me with your best shot."

            "With pleasure."

            "Thought you'd _never ask."_

            Ami's fingers moved quicker than they ever had before, her need spurring her to a frenetic pace. She had to do this before anyone caught on, especially Artemis. He knew who was behind this whole charade and she intended to know. Knowledge was power and Ami was anything but stupid. Bypassing codes and passwords, she hacked her way into his private database, the one they weren't supposed to know about. When it came to anything technical however, Ami knew all. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure that no one noticed her, she made the most of her lunch break, once more grateful for that miracle which was her laptop computer. 

            Her fellow computer geeks were glancing at her and she could tell they were on the verge of coming over and finding out what the resident brainiac was up to. She put her most unapproachable face on, hoping she had learnt enough from Makoto and her tips on repelling rejects, not that that had ever been a problem for Ami. 

            Desperate spurred her on, and the fact that she knew Artemis was very protective of his database and therefore not only checked it frequently, but also had warning signals set up all along the system to alert him if anyone attempted to break in. Caution made her wary, telling herself that things were not always what they seemed, even when dealing with a very smart cat. Finding a file so innocently and openly labelled something completely generic in amidst multiple files with secretive names, Ami headed for the one labelled "Favourite Cat Food" on a hunch. 

            'Intriguing.' She thought. 'If it's only about interesting cat food then why does he require multiple passwords to break in? Is Whiskas really **that good?' **

            Convinced she was onto something major, she continued hacking away, picking up an apple core at the same time and throwing at one of the computer club members whos curiosity was getting the better of him. "Is that a Pentium 4 processor?" he hollered out.

            "No it's an IMac." She retorted.

            "Sure doesn't look like an IMac to me. They don't come in laptops do they?"

            "Well why don't you run to BiC Camera* and find out for me?" she snapped.

            "We can't leave school grounds on lunch break!" He sighed sadly. "Let's surf the Web! I'll gather the gang..."

            "Tadayuki*" she said in a warning tone. "You raise your voice and I will rip off your lips and pin them to this tree and use them to make a birdbath."

            He blinked at her. "Why so angry today? Sadie visiting?"

            "I beg your pardon?" Ami's head reared up at his bluntness. 

            "It's nothing to be ashamed about, you're female, it happens. Let me help you."

            "I tell you this truly Tadayuki," Ami began taking a deep breath. "That if you do not cease and desist immediately, I will rip off your manhood and serve it to you on a bun served with barbeque sauce!"

            He backed away. "I think my pager went off. Sorry Mizuno-san, won't bother you again."

            Ami said nothing, just narrowed her eyes at him. He gave a squeak and ran towards the rest of the computer club who gathered around him eagerly. Turning her attention back to the innocent file, she delved in once more and was rewarded with a screen full of Artemis' data. Scanning it quickly, she memorized it, not trusting a disk. When she came across the name of the person who had started this – Usagi being thrown out of her house, out of the Senshi, and committing her to the Trials years too early, her eyes widened as her fingers fell from the keyboard, trembling in shock and rage.

            "I'm getting bored waiting for you to begin." Usagi said/thought to Setsuna.

            "So eager, so eager." Setsuna smiled. "Can you fight with words? Can you figure out the results of this Trial with words alone? Do you dare?"

            "Give me your finest challenge and I will defeat it. Time is short and I must do what I must." She said defiantly.

            "Indeed." Setsuna replied archly. "There are no riddles here, no deception, no acts of brawn that you must do to succeed. Here it is words – nothing more, nothing less."

            Doubt where there should be no doubt trickled through. "Bring it on."

            "So eager to fail. Very well." Setsuna drawled. "Picture if you will: driven under the whip, the taskmaster relentlessly driving you on to a purpose you do not see, a reason you do not know, hour after hour, day after day, year after year – for eternity. There is no freedom from the relentless onslaught that is demanded of you. You are a tool – and regarded as such. Your life means little. Your existence nothing but to serve – as it has ever been, as it will always be. You are broken, grinded back into the dust from whence you came. Who is this broken and oppressed person?"

            "Me." Usagi replied in a trembling voice.

            "Wrong. It is not you."  Setsuna paused. "But I will be lenient and give you one more hint and then I extract the price of your failure."

            "Then continue."

            "A hope burns fiercely in your breast, a hope you cannot deny. You don't know where it originated from or why you have it. It is unspeakable and the one thing that can't be taken from you. Though freedom is alien to you – a thing you have never known, though there is no escape, you know there is something more out there, if only you could overthrow the tyrant. I ask again – who is the slave?"

            "The people." She whispered.

            "A very good guess – and an accurate one. Yes it is the people, those very people you are sworn to serve – yet you have failed. Who is the hope and who is the tyrant?"

            "Tell me of the tyrant."

            "A cold hearted and demanding creature born from the blackness that is people's hearts. It gets joy from pain, numbering enemies by swords, not slaves. Slaves mean wealth, therefore all that is around it belongs to it. Sorrow is it's favourite dish, despair a delightful drink, feeding off the knowledge that these people will never be free, condemned to bondage from everlasting to everlasting."

            "And the Hope?"

            "A beautiful creature of light, the purest heart, most delicate soul – a flower that could be crushed by the world yet is resilient above all else – never being beaten down, always rising again, existing in all hearts that believe and have faith.  Someday it will surge forth and free all those who are unjustly imprisoned. I ask for the final time, who is the Hope and who is the Tyrant?"

            "The Hope is obvious…" she pondered. "Me…"

            A swift intake of breath was heard.

            "Therefore the Hope HAS to be the children of the future, the Tyrant…is me."

            "Explain."

            "It is evident – the Tyrant is my blackest of selves, the part of me I deny. The Hope is a dream; it exists in hearts – as children do. You describe a possible future or time where I turn from my path to serve a darker purpose."

            "Well done, I didn't think you figure it out."

            "How can I not? You spoke of my greatest fear."

            "What do you intend to do to prevent it?"

            "All I can."

            "And when that is not enough?"

            "I'll give my soul as fodder to the Goddess."

            "Be careful of what you speak Princess, for words like that will not be taken lightly."

            "I mean every syllable Setsuna. Now, have I passed?"

            "Indeed. Go back to your little examination and enjoy. You have passed the Fourth Trial."

            Haruka let out a chuckle as she twirled Helios around her head like a tea towel. "Watch the lamp!" Michiru warned. "Usagi'll be really miffed if you break it."

            "Ah she'll forgive me. It's all in the name of fun right?" Haruka called back cheerfully. 

            "You certainly are enjoying yourself." Setsuna commented as she looked up from where Chibi-Usa was spread eagled and pinned to the wall. Michiru had been trying to see in her soul, Setsuna was blindfolded and taking random swings while Hotaru was giving her directions.

            "We must show these two imbeciles what happens when they cross our Princess and attempt to steal from her." Haruka shook her head as she threw Helios off the wall. He squealed in pain as he rebounded. "And not even an intelligent theft either! Nooooo. Just waltzing right in her apartment in the middle of the day, thinking that playing the cute, leechlike baby sister will get you where you want to be. And then standing in the middle of a public hallway with a _barrette! And picking the lock! These are the two people who managed to brainwash me? I am deeply shamed."_

            "Yes, I think we need to extract our pound of flesh." Michiru agreed. "One does not make fools out of us easily."

            "Oh I think we need more than a pound of flesh." Haruka piped up. "I'm thinking a couple tons…but these two here are so stringy that we might only get a few kilos."

            "Let's make it last then." Setsuna turned back to Chibi-Usa. "Do you yield?"

            "I'd rather roast in hell." Chibi-Usa glared at them with malevolent red eyes. "You will be tortured when I am Queen. I will kill you each night and bring you back to life each day. I will remove your souls and your free will and use you for my living furniture. You won't get away with this!"

            Hotaru and Haruka glanced up from where they were playing tug of war with Helios' legs. "Confident little bit of pestilence isn't she?" Haruka remarked.

            "Michiru, shut her up. I'm getting tired of her mouth." Hotaru yawned. "This is starting to get boring."

            No sooner were the words out of her mouth than a knock at the door came. "Silence!" Michiru said as she went to open the door. "Oh, hello Officer. May I help you?"

            As she said those words, Haruka and Hotaru hastily shoved Helios into the laundry hamper and Hotaru sat on top of it as Chibi-Usa was shoved in a cupboard and Setsuna leaned against it casually, looking for a drink. Haruka did the flight of the bumblebee, fluffing and stuffing, making the apartment look presentable. She quickly turned on the TV to a random soap opera and muted the sound and flung herself on the couch. "Ma'am, sorry to bother you but we've had many complaints from the residents of the surrounding apartments. They claim they heard something like," he scratched his head as he read off a slip of paper, "warthogs being tortured?"

            Michiru let out a shrill laugh. "Sorry Officer but my friends and I are just watching our daily soaps and we got carried away."

            "Be that as it may Ma'am, may I come in and take a look around?"

            "Of course." Michiru stood back to let him into Usagi's apartment. 

            He nodded to Haruka, Hotaru and Setsuna who were arguing over whether Keiko was worthy of Shinji on 'As the Sushi Floats.' "Well there seems to be nothing amiss here. Sorry to have bothered you, but could you keep it down next time?" 

            "Very sorry about that Officer. Sumimasen." Michiru bowed at him. "We will be quieter from now on."

            "Arigatou." He nodded to them once more and left.

            Haruka let out a sigh of relief as she lifted Hotaru off the hamper and opened it. She grinned evilly down at Helios. "Ready for round two?"

            I think I'll end it there, and all those Helios Haters can use their imaginations on what Haruka is about to do to them next. I make reference to BiC Camera because in Japan there is no Future Shop and that his where people go to buy all the electronics, and Tadayuki is one of my favourite students, so I did a small tribute to him. I have come up with all the rest of the Trials and am working on the conclusion of this story, so it will be posted in short order! Hope you enjoyed!


	17. I know the truth

            I am back in Canada! I have jet lag! I do not have SARS! I do not own Sailor Moon! Read and review but be kind, no flames! Check out websites! Read my Harry Potter fanfic if you don't mind slash! Enjoy!

            Usagi's jaw dropped when she set foot inside her apartment. "What the…how did…where did…?" she sputtered as she turned in fury to her Outer Senshi, all of whom were staring in various directions. Despite Haruka's cover up earlier with the police, the apartment was a shambled mess, and in the middle of the floor were Chibi Usa and Helios, trussed up like a set of Christmas turkeys.

            "Now Usagi, calm down." Was the first thing Setsuna said in an attempt to placate her. "It's not as bad as it looks."

            "It couldn't possibly be as bad as it looks!" Usagi burst, her nerves already frayed and on the breaking point. "**What happened here?"**

            "Welllll…" Haruka drug out the word. "We only had your best interests in mind Koneko, you know that."

            Steam was appearing out of Usagi's ears as her face turned a fascinating shade of red. "Oh look," Chibi Usa sneered from her spot on the floor. "Mummy's home. I'm in some sort of wicked trouble now."

            Usagi shot one final, venomous glare at her Senshi and crossed the floor to face her wayward child and lover. It was almost with a sense of pity that she looked at Chibi Usa, a child she had tried so hard to love. Despite all the changes that Usagi had gone through, some part of her heart could (would?) not harden against this child. "Why are you here?" she demanded.

            "I came to take back that which is rightfully mine baka. That which you stole from me." Chibi Usa replied imperiously.

            "It was never yours to begin with." Usagi said quietly. "Since you are tied up, I can explain it to you, though there is little chance you will actually listen to me."

            "All you speak is nonsense, nothingness and lies." Helios spat at her. 

            Where Usagi had some compassion left in her heart for Chibi Usa, she had none for Helios. Haruka saw her urge to kick him and helpfully did it for her with a grin. "That help my liege?"

            Usagi closed her eyes and sighed. "Since you are my child, I suppose I should tell you the truth of the ginzuishou, however since your existence is at an end – for the future you come from is not longer probable and has been pushed to the back, it is pointless."

            "You know nothing." Chibi Usa affirmed.

            "No?" Usagi's eyes narrowed. "The ginzuishou will never go to you, for it was not given freely. It is an artefact meant for the one true Queen, the one true Hope…the one true servant."

            "It is impossible to be both a Queen and a servant." Helios protested.

            "I was not addressing you, you slimy piece of worm ridden filth." Usagi snapped, her temper getting the better of her. She focused on Chibi Usa. "You truly have no idea of the power that is inherent in the ginzuishou, do you? Even I do not know the full extent of it's power, not even I have gained total mastery over it."

            "You said you did."

            "I have said many things," Usagi prayed to be forgiven for this lie. "It will never belong to you Chibi Usa, for I have found out something fascinating and horrid for you." She paused. "You bear the mark of the Moon, yes; and you can wield the ginzuishou to a point also, such was the way Neo-Queen Serenity arranged it. I can only imagine the future where you come from, where despite appearances; things are not what they seem. You do not love your mother in the future, you hate her – despise her even, because you know the truth."

            "And what truth is that?"

            "You are not my child. You are not Neo-Queen Serenity's child. I do not know yet who your mother is, but it is not me, in any time." Usagi said with quiet finality. "Whether Endymion was unfaithful is another story, but he adores you and always has. For the sake of appearances to the outside world, Neo-Queen Serenity cast spells upon you, imprinted the Moon on your forehead, gave you partial ability to use her ginzuishou – **with her permission only** – to keep up the pretence that you were truly her child."

            Chibi Usa closed her eyes. "How in the hell did you figure it out?"

            Usagi smiled enigmatically. "I owe you nothing."

            "Au contraire." Chibi Usa snapped, fighting her bonds. "You owe me a great deal. You owe me love you could never fully give me, you owe me the ginzuishou as payment for me having to put up and tolerate your pitiful affections and attempts to be my mother. You **owe** me a lost childhood due to a constant battle to keep my father's affections for my own, and then as soon as I had them – you stole him from me again." She sneered.

            Usagi turned her back, the ginzuishou having done its job well. "Release her."

            "Koneko!" Haruka's eyes widened to massive proportions. "You can't be serious!"

            "This is neither the time nor place for us to settle it here. She broke in to my apartment, stupidly of course, the has committed numerous crimes this day, yet I want her released."

            "Be reasonable!" Haruka pleaded.

            "Usagi…are you certain this is wise?" Setsuna asked quietly. 

            "I have my reasons Setsuna. Let them go."

            Setsuna held Usagi's gaze for an instant then nodded. Haruka let out a snort of derision and disbelief, Michiru looked thoroughly disgusted and Hotaru just stared at the couple with pity in her eyes. "As you wish."

            Chibi Usa stood and rubbed her chafed wrists. "Truly you are a fool, an idiot of incredible…"

            "Do not finish that sentence if you know what is good for you." Michiru said in a lethal tone.

            "You are beginning to repeat yourself Chibi Usa. Run out of insults and lies already?" Usagi commented in a level voice as she stared at her nails.

            "This was your final mistake, 'Mama.'" She grinned evilly. "When next we meet…"

            "Get this bag of wind out of my apartment, and do not bother to return yourselves." Usagi told the Outers as she headed for her bedroom. "I wish to be alone before I go to work."

            "We have much to discuss Usagi." Michiru reached for her as Usagi whirled and made a slashing motion with her arm. "We have nothing, **NOTHING** to discuss this day that cannot wait until tomorrow." 

            She turned her gaze to Setsuna. "And I know time is short, and I know that we have much to be done!" her voice rose shrilly. "Just get out! All of you get out now!"

            Hotaru didn't ask questions, just began herding everyone out the door. "See you tomorrow Usagi." She called over her shoulder. Hesitating once, she darted across the  room and embraced Usagi firmly, whispering in her ear. Usagi appeared shocked and surprised as Hotaru gave her a shy smile, a hearty wink and ran after the others.      

            "Artemis." Ami acknowledged as the cat slunk into the room, a worried expression on his face. 

            "Ami-chan!" he greeted happily. "How are you?"

            He seemed oblivious to the frosty atmosphere of the room, to the fact that Ami radiated fury and ice with each breath. "How dare you keep this knowledge to yourself?" she snapped, anger making her see red.

            "What are you talking about Ami?" Artemis truly seemed bewildered.

            "Did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you think I couldn't crack your code?" 

            Understanding sank in on his face. "You hacked into my database."

            "How can you let this…farce…this travesty(!) occur for another second!?" Ami burst out in rage.

            "This is necessary! It has to be done!" Artemis protested.

            "Not so early! There were years left before Usagi had to undergo _any_ of this! You knew, all along you knew and you did nothing!"

            "She enlisted my aid for without it, it would have been impossible!"

            "Are you the one responsible for brainwashing Rei and Chibi Usa?" 

            "I am not. I had nothing to do with that, I was part of it in other ways." Artemis defended himself. "We have the best intentions…"

            "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Ami snapped. "I thought you liked Usagi."

            "I do!"

            "I thought you had grown to respect her."

            "I have!"

            "Then **_WHY_**?" Ami screamed in frustration. "WHY have you done this?"

            "You wouldn't understand." Artemis replied, infuriating.

            "Try me." Ami snarled, her temper, which she kept firmly under wraps threatening to boil over and explode.

            "It's a long story."

            "We have time."

            "I really can't divulge…"

            "You will tell me your reasons, and tell me now Artemis, or I make you a doorstop here and now."

            Faced with a livid Ami – a sight no one had ever seen. Artemis closed his eyes, cursed her intelligence and diligence and began to speak.

            Makoto knew that what she was about to do was going to hurt Usagi far more than it was going to hurt her. She was under orders from Rei, had her instructions on what to do. She waited, she listened and then she said a little prayer as she sprang from the shadows that concealed her and onto her prey, preparing to give her a beating she would not soon forget.

            Haruka screamed in shock and rage, before battle instincts kicked in and she turned to size up and face her opponent in a fight that was certainly going to be a hell raiser.

            "You failed."

            "Shut up!"

            "I told you you would." Smugness.

            "I told you to shut up!"

            "Now what are you going to O Divine One?"

            "Watch your tongue!"

            "Watch your own, I've had enough of this. If I continue to follow this travesty for a Queen, we'll all be dead and the Cause will be for nothing!"

            "We need to regroup, think of some other way to get her."

            "Sure, why not? Another pointless plan, using energy and resources we cannot spare. Let's think of another plan because she hasn't made us all look like idiots from the start."

            "Sarcasm is not appreciated."

            "Do I care?"

            "You're a fine one to talk, you failed at everything. You couldn't seduce my father, you couldn't keep my senshi…"

            "My senshi you little piece of toenail fungus, not yours."

            "Semantics."

            "Oh I think not, now, why don't you tell me of your failure."

            "So you can laugh at me some more? I highly think not."

            "I am going to laugh at you irregardless, so it really doesn't matter."

            "How dare you speak to her that way?!"

            "Bite me."

            Sounds, scuffling. A thud against the wall. "You dare harm me or this child I carry and I swear to you in the name of the God of War that I will wreak vengeance upon each and every one of you!"

            "Oh knock it off. We all know that none of us can attack the other. Such is the nature of our agreement."

            "Then what do we do now?"

            "First furball, get out of my face."

            "Sorry my Queen."

            "Next, be seen and not heard and if possible, do not be seen."

            "Yes my Queen."

            "I think our best course of action is to wait. I have Makoto, Ami and Minako out with duties to be done."

            "Will they do them?"

            "I have entered Makoto's mind. She fights Haruka as we speak."

            "And the others?" 

            "Ami is fighting Artemis, I do not know why, but since he is not on our side, I care little. Minako is spying on Usagi, is going to take her Luna Pen and disguise herself as Usagi in the process delivering her to us. If we can get her on temple grounds, we have her!"

            "I approve of this scheme."  
  


            "I didn't ask if you approved or not."

            "You need a lesson in manners Rei."

            "You need to learn about hair dye."

            Hotaru fought down laughter as she listened to the argument between Chibi Usa, Helios, Rei and Luna. Indeed Rei was fed up with Chibi Usa and her pathetic attempts to be leader, and she was also truly, with child. Slinking away unnoticed, she did not see that she herself was followed.

            Mamoru rang the bell of Usagi's apartment, the days since he had last seen her all too long and arduous for his liking. He had mentioned to Motoki this morning that he was going to stop by and see her before her shift today and Motoki had arched his eyebrows at him and informed him that Usagi could not be late for work. Idly Motoki had asked Mamoru if he had seen Usagi at all recently, and he replied not for a couple of days. He was here now to tell Usagi that Motoki was going to pay her for her shift, but that she was not required to actually show up, wondering what the hell he meant by that.

            Usagi opened the door and his jaw dropped. He was the only one who had not seen her since her…change. His mind ceased working, his brain shut down as he drank in the sight of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her eyes were haunted, signalling to him that she had undergone more of those wretched Trials. Her body was slimmer, indicating weight loss. Her apartment was a disaster, remnants of the afternoon's events hovering around. "Mamoru." She breathed, grateful to have someone to lean on, someone to support her.

            "I can't come in Usako." He replied in a strangled tone. 

            "Why?" she asked in a soft voice.

            "I will have you now. I don't dare do that without permission."

            "Whose permission? Mine…or Haruka's?"

            "Does it matter?" he choked as he stared at her, losing himself in the depths of her eyes.

            "I have been accused of wanting you only for your body. I have been told repeatedly that I have only one thing on my mind, that I support you for one reason only."

            "I have heard those rumours too Mamoru. If that were true, you would have taken me by now."

            "I have been told that what I felt for you before is disgraceful, if I were truly your soul mate, I would have loved you no matter what and not be so proud of you now."

            "You DID love me before, but not the love of a man for a woman, rather the love of a brother for a particularly annoying sister. You knew I could do better, the potential was there, but I hid it deep inside. You knew of no other way to treat me."

            "And for that I apologize." 

            "I admit it hurt, the way you treated me, it made me angry. You voted to cast me out…but we have discussed this already. You know what I was hiding."

            "I do."

            "Ignore the rumours Mamoru, this is our story, not theirs. Not Haruka's, not Setsuna's, not anyone's." She held the door open. "Come in."

            "Usako…"

            "This is our time Mamoru and I will wait no longer."

            A spell, newly learnt to stop anyone from entering, appearing or interfering was cast about the apartment, as Usagi and Mamoru faced each other, and yet another Trial began.

            The door closed with finality.

            Hope you enjoyed. Giddy with being home…bless dryers, bless them, wonderful inventions (I actually hugged my dryer on my knees!), bless normal toilets, real bathtubs and stores that have clothes that fit me! I don't look like a bag lady anymore! Next chapter written, just being edited. Question: want the love scene with Usagi and Mamoru or no? 

Until next time!    


	18. Discover me discovering you

            Hello all and here is the newest chapter of Watch Me Shine! Enjoy! I have been emailed and told I am an ungrateful wretch, so to all of you who have reviewed…thank you! Thank you so much, your feedback and support mean a lot to me! To the reviewer who pointed out that the chapter titles are lyrics out of Bon Jovi's "Bounce," you are correct! I adore Bon Jovi, am a huge fan and I love that song. The words were appropriate to use and in the end when I give my footnotes of all the sources I used to create this story, that will be one of them. To those who said that this bears a striking resemblance to the Matrix, I am sorry, you are wrong, I detested that movie and if there are similarities, they are unintentional. Same for the Lord of the Rings…any similarities are not because I enjoyed those movies.

            In this chapter there is a love scene (slightly graphic but tasteful I think) , and a female/female attraction (nothing graphic). If you are close minded, if you are too young to be reading this R rated story or if that is not your cup of tea, hit the back button now. Do not flame the author for you have been warned!             With that in mind, to those begging for hints as to who is behind it, in my mind I give away the whodunit in this chapter, but I will tell you who it is not: Michiru, Makoto, Haruka, Ami, Mamoru, Queen Serenity and Usagi. 

            Enjoy the new chapter! Read and review but be kind. Standard disclaimers, I own nothing and if I did do you really think I'd be here? No flames please! Again…if you are too young to read an **R** rated story, then don't! I don't want any emails or flames from upset 15 year olds telling me how to write my story! Enjoy!

            A shrill cry of battle rage echoed through the alley where Makoto and Haruka fought. Haruka narrowed her eyes at Makoto as she skilfully dodged a blow. "Why are you doing this? You know that I will emerge victorious."

            "I might surprise you yet Haruka." Makoto muttered grimly, wincing as a blow to her ribs knocked the wind out of her.

            "You know I'm going to hurt you." Haruka said almost conversationally. "So why are you doing this?"

            "I have my orders."  
  


            "You always do what people tell you to do?"

            "When they are the true leader, yes."

            Haruka snorted in a most unladylike fashion as she grabbed Makoto's arm and twisted it behind her back. "You no more believe that Rei is the true leader than you believe I should sprout pink feathers out of my arse and fly to Kookamunga."

            Makoto said nothing, just flipped Haruka flat on her back as they drew even. "Stop talking and fight damn you!"

            "Why?"

            Makoto said nothing, just launched another assault on Haruka, actually managing to break through her defences and land a blow to her eye. "Makoto that hurt." Haruka said in an admonishing manner.

            She listened closely to Makoto, for with each blow she threw, with each kick she aimed she was muttering under her breath, in almost a sob-like voice. "Damn you, damn you, damn you…" a mantra. "I hate you."

            "Why do you hate me?" Haruka caught her leg mid-kick and held her firm so she couldn't escape.

            "None of your damn business." Makoto snapped. "Let me go!"

            "You started this fight and now you get upset when it doesn't go your way?" Haruka arched an eyebrow. "I am the one who should be affronted here, since I was having a perfectly good day and then out of nowhere you attack me like some kind of raving lunatic."

            "I told you I have my orders!"

            "From Rei? Or that pink haired little STD?"

            "Does it matter? Both are there for me to serve. As long as I do their will, things are good." She said bitterly, before clapping a hand over her mouth, eyes going wide.

            Haruka dropped her leg. "So that's it." She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's why you hate me."

            "Forget I said that." Makoto pleaded even as she grabbed Haruka in a neck choke that she easily broke and whirled to face her, fists raised.

            "I don't think I want to. You hate me because I made a choice, because I used free will…the one thing Rei and Fluff Brain won't let you use. You are a tool and are used as such." Haruka smirked. "You have changed teams, in a manner of speaking."

            "I am still a threat!" Makoto cried out. "Raise your fists to me! Fight me!"

            "How far will violence between us lead? You are not my enemy Makoto, I will fight you no longer." Haruka moved into a casual stance. "Fighting amongst Senshi will only hurt Usagi."

            "I don't care!"

            "Yes you do."

            Makoto dropped her fists and stood with a bewildered expression on her face. "If you will not fight me, then perhaps Usagi will."

            Haruka narrowed her eyes. "Makoto, I am not fighting you because I respect you. You are a worthy adversary and one of the few people who has ever managed to land a blow on me, or…" she smiled ruefully. "give me a shiner." Her face grew grim. "But know this: you attack Usagi and my leniency towards you ends. A direct attack on her will earn you no points with me and I will destroy you if I have to."

            "Then that is what I will do."

            "You will hurt her."

            "Nothing less than she deserves."

            "Bullshit." Haruka snapped. "Think for just a minute on the futility of that action!"

            "I can't think!" Makoto snarled. "I don't dare pause my thoughts for an instant, don't you understand that yet? Usagi protects you so you don't have this…this mind rape!"

            Understanding flashed across Haruka's face as all pieces of the puzzle fell into place. "Tell them you managed to wound me severely. That should get them to lay off you for a bit. It is true after all."

            Makoto's face was torn between gratefulness and sorrow. She bounded out of sight as Haruka turned to Michiru who had been concealed in the shadows. "What to do you make of that my love?"

            "I know what they want." Was the cryptic reply.

            Usagi and Mamoru stood before her bed, Usagi trembling. "Are you afraid Usako?" Mamoru asked gently.

            "No, not afraid, just nervous. What if…what if I do it wrong?" 

            "There is no right and wrong, just us. You don't have to worry about impressing me."

            "But I do!" Usagi protested softly. "I have yearned for this, dreamed for this! We have been interrupted so many times before, that I can scarcely believe this will happen at last."

            "Perhaps…a change of partner is in order." Mamoru said, a smirk on his face as the atmosphere in the room changed.

            "What?" Usagi blinked as Mamoru's face sneered at her suddenly. 

            "Perhaps a man, a full grown man with a man's appetite is beyond your tiny teenage mind to satisfy."

            Usagi drew back, crossing her arms in front of her. "I don't understand."

            "And you never did." Mamoru shook his head. "You fantasize about other men, you always have, picturing yourself in their arms, perhaps having them kiss you."

            "Not anymore I don't!"

            "But you do, and you know it. I do not always occupy your thoughts Odango." A pause. "Nor your dreams."

            "A person cannot be held responsible for what they dream!"

            "Only you." He smiled, an unpleasant smile that made her reluctant. "As I said, perhaps a change of partner is in order to get you to drop to your back and spread your legs."

            Usagi shook her head; this was turning into a nightmare.

            Mamoru's face…shimmered for lack of a better word. Morphed into something…someONE different. After a moment, the suave face of Umino – after Naru had spent years working on him – was in front of her. "Have you not fantasized about me Usagi?" he leaned towards her. "Especially after I changed my look?" he pulled her close. "I have worshipped and adored you for years you know." His lips lowered to hers. "No one will ever believe it was me, so that makes it ok."

            Usagi pushed him away, shaking her head. "No! Not you! Never you Umino! You are my friend and more to the point, you are my best friends boyfriend! I had one fantasy about you, ONE! I do not want you!"

            Umino had a speculative look on his face. "No? Perhaps someone more familiar?" he turned his face to the back of the room and when he face her again, it was the friendly and comforting face of Motoki. "Was I not your first true crush Odango? Did I not cause your first…explicit dream?"

            Usagi froze, not pulling away. "Motoki-oniichan…" she whispered. "Reika…"

            "She is nothing compared to you, I have known it for years." He assured her as he ran a hand down her face. "Your beauty is the best thing about you, I have always said so."

            "You told me my brains…"

            "I lied Odango. Your beauty…for you are incomparable…" lips at the side of her neck. "And I should be your first…"

            Usagi blinked and pushed him away. "No! No! You are not the one Motoki! You are my Oniichan, my older brother! I do not want you in that way anymore! You are off limits, Minako's secret love! I cannot touch you, nor do I want to!"

            Motoki rolled his eyes and sighed. "Women! Who can understand one of them?" he shrugged his shoulders, and when he faced her fully, Haruka stood there. "Unless you are one of them?" she asked smoothly.

            "Haruka?" Usagi blinked.

            "Was I not the first, the only to make you question your sexuality? Did you not yearn for me? Love me?" Haruka circled her slowly. 

            "I do love you Haruka…but Michiru…"

            "I have had Michiru, many times. You are pure you are untouched. It would be my pleasure, my honour, my one great desire to bring you to the heights of passion one can touch. I will be gentle, I will be honourable…you can trust me."

            "No Haruka, I can't do this. I don't want you this way."

            "Which way do you want me Koneko?" Haruka drew close to her and lifted her chin to face her. "I want you to be relaxed."

            "I am not attracted to you in that way." Usagi protested feebly. 

            Haruka lowered her lips to Usagi's and held her gently, yet firmly. The kiss was…different. Unlike anything Usagi had ever felt before, yet gentle. Loving. Even through a kiss she could feel Haruka wanting to protect her…make her first time painless. Releasing her from the kiss, Usagi stumbled. "Are you sure?"

            "I thought you wanted me to keep my virtue."

            "You can give it to me." She said softly, sweeping her hands down Usagi's body. "Was I not your greatest temptation? Were not your dreams filled with me – even after you knew I was a girl?"

            "Not really." 

            "You lie Koneko. I could have been the one to take you from Mamoru fully, had I wanted it."

            "And now you want to?"

            "The thought is tempting…intoxicating. I deserve you, no one else does."

            Usagi's mind was a torment. She had come to the realization this was a Trial, the most unusual yet, but of what? "Haruka, perhaps I wanted you in the beginning but I don't want you now. There is another, one who haunts me thoughts and makes me crave him in body. I love you, yes. As a friend. As a sister. As a fellow warrior."

            Haruka smirked. "Can't win them all." She raised her hands to her face. "Though I came close." A confident voice replied and Usagi shook.

            Seiya stood before her.

            "Why is she doing this Artemis?" Ami asked, drained of pumping him for information.

            "Why do you think?" 

            "Stop being so damn cryptic all the time!" she burst out. "Give me some clues as to why she is doing this! She was so good once!"

            "Deep inside, she still is. She always is. This is her duty; this is why she was the different one. Queen Serenity made her for this purpose, to get close to her, to be close to her, as a confidant, as a stern mother, as a sister. She cultivated her for this purpose, making her training stricter than any other. As an advisor she went through tests I never did, as a warrior she went through training no senshi ever had before." Artemis explained.

            "I can understand that the Trials are needed to make sure Usagi is prepared for all the responsibility that comes with assuming the throne. But so many Trials, so many tests? Why?" Ami shook her head. "I cannot figure that part of the puzzle out."

            "Can you not?"

            "Which side are you on Artemis? You loyalties are shaded at best. You never voted to cast Usagi out from the Senshi, but you didn't object. You never went to her when she left, you stayed with the core." Ami clutched him by the neck. "Tell me."

            Artemis gave her a tiny smile. "Though you may kill me Ami, I cannot reveal that information."

            "You can't play both sides of the field forever Artemis."

            "Soon, I won't have to."

            "Seiya." Usagi breathed. 

            "Odango." He smiled. "Your greatest temptation I should think. If anyone was ever going to take you from Mamoru, it would have been me. You wanted it, remember?"

            "No, this is wrong." Usagi shook her head. "You cannot be here."

            "Because even now you want me? Even now you wonder what might have been? After all this time you do still dream of me?" he pulled her flush against him as she felt his firmness pressing against her. "I wanted you so badly, so much Odango. Taiki and Yaten nearly went mad hearing me talk of you constantly."

            "No Seiya, I am not meant to be with you."

            "Forget who you are **meant** to be with Odango, for that is not the point. Who do you **want** to be with? To hell with duty, with soul mates, with a thousand years of history forget about that for a moment and be selfish! What do **you** want?"

            Usagi closed her eyes. "I am meant for Mamoru, I want Mamoru. I have been raised for him."

            "Why did you let Haruka kiss you? Why did you nearly fall to me before the Chaos battle?" Seiya persisted. "If Mamoru is all you love, all you yearn for, why have you nearly stumbled along the way?"

            "Temptation is natural, it is normal." Usagi explained. "Mamoru has been tempted, I know this."

            "You are not Mamoru. The purity of an ancient bloodline rests with you. You are the sole remaining heir of the first people to live in this galaxy! He has cousins he has family still! You do not. He can afford to be indiscriminate, you cannot."

            "He is the only one worthy of me." Usagi said defiantly. "I resist you."

            "Have you never truly looked at those who pursued you? The leader of the warriors on Uranus, the crown princess herself with a bloodline nearly as old and certainly as pure as yours? Me - a guardian of the Outer Galaxies, descended from a warrior line older than your own? Or him…with a bloodline that is only a few thousand years old? He is the one worthy of you? He, who cannot trace his bloodline back millennia like the rest of us? Oh Odango, you live in denial." He kissed the side of her neck. "When he was gone, you tormented yourself with visions of me, thoughts of me. At night when you touched yourself it was my name you called, not his."

            Usagi's cheeks flamed at the truth. "It is actions that matter, and my course is set with Mamoru. I love him."

            "Then why aren't you fighting me? Why are you rationalizing this to me when my hands are where they are?"

            Usagi realized with a start that one of Seiya's hands was on her breast, caressing her in a most pleasurable way, while his other hand snaked down towards the clasp on her skirt. "Stop that." She struggled to push him from her.

            "Make me." His hot breath tickled her ear. "Unless you don't want to. Can you deny what the heart truly wants?"

            Usagi closed her eyes. "This isn't right. It's not supposed to be this way."

            "What way? You giving yourself to someone you want, out of desire, not out of duty? You are not a royal whore Usagi, giving your body to someone because you must, you are giving yourself to me because you can…you want this."

            Seiya's kiss was gentle, it was warm, it was tender…but there was no passion, no heat, no yearning to throw him to the bed and rip his clothing off with her teeth. She pulled from him. "Remove your hands Seiya, for this is not right and I do not want you."

            Seiya sighed and raised his arms. "I concede defeat. He is a lucky bastard I give him that." He leaned in to her one last time. "And while I know you think this is a vision, in this Trial, you are wrong. I am really here, not a morphed version of Haruka. This is really me Odango, and I tell you this truly that if he hurts you, I will tear his spleen from his body and give it you with a rose on a jewelled platter. I'll kill him and make it look like an accident." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Because I love you." He straightened and winked at her, as Mamoru stood before her once more, desire burning in his eyes. 

            "Mamo-chan." She breathed. 

            "Your desire and attraction to Dimando and Chaos was not strong enough to bring them Usako." He smirked. "It seems you are not as attracted to the bad boys as one might think."

            "Did you see all of that?" she demanded.

            He shook his head. "I did not. I had to wait for you, instead of you waiting for me, and I worried." He cleared his throat. "Before you collect your reward, some protocol is necessary here. You have passed the 5th Trial, the one of Fidelity."

            Usagi closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "It is finished then."

            Mamoru pulled her to him and lifted her gently on the bed. "Now we can continue what Setsuna wanted us to do, but we were interrupted in doing."

            Usagi smiled before clenching a hand in Mamoru's hair and pulling his lips to hers.

            Hotaru headed for the apartment she shared with Setsuna, Haruka and Michiru, ready to tell them all she had learned. A blow from behind on the back of her head felled her as a cruel cackle came from behind. "So the spy got herself in trouble." A pause. "Lets see how much Usagi values her as your mind is examined and then …reprogrammed." A gesture. "Take her."

            Minako came forward with a heavy heart and lifted Hotaru's limp body in her arms, cursing the way this was turning out.

            The kiss was flame itself, threatening to consume the bed. Usagi had broken out in a sudden sweat for the intensity of it threatened to overwhelm her. Finally it was Mamoru, finally they were together, at last there would be no interruptions. All she had done, all she had accomplished brought her here, to this moment. To her opening herself to her love on this bed. She had thought she would be gentle, tentative as she had been in their previous explorations, but she wasn't. It was almost violently she ripped the shirt from his chest, desperate to see his muscled flesh, yearning to touch it. Mamoru tried to calm her, to hold her down but her need was too strong. She broke the kiss as she moved to his earlobe, his throat, drawing a line with her tongue down to one pebbled nipple where she rested to suckle. His masculine groan was all the thanks she needed.

            His hands had slipped under her skirt and finished undoing the clasp that Seiya had so helpfully begun. His fingers crept beneath her nylons to caress the white flesh he found. "Usako…" he breathed hotly.

            Usagi sat up and smiled at him as she began to unbutton her shirt. He stilled her hands. "Let me." He asked. Her nod made his heart pound painfully as with trembling fingers, he tried to undo the tiny buttons. 

            He wanted to tear everything from her and take her. Fast. Furious. But that was not the way and he had to calm her down. He was a gentleman and he would be gentle though his restraint would be pushed to the breaking point. "We have plenty of time Usako and no one will interrupt us. Savour the feelings." He murmured as he pressed a kiss to the side of her throat, removing the shirt. "You are exquisite, moreso now." Indeed, since her transformation because of the mirror, he could scarcely keep his hands off her. Her skin was as soft as it looked. Moving to the clasp of her bra, he removed it, kissing each breast in turn as she closed her eyes and the tension left her body. This then, was how he wanted her.

            "Mamoru, I can't…" she arched towards him, an indefinable something making her writhe and bite her lips.

            "Go with it." He encouraged, pulling off her skirt and nylons in the same motion. "Feel."

            She opened heavy lidded eyes to stare at him. "You are overdressed sir."

            "Let me rectify that milady." He smiled as he sat back from her and removed his trousers. Clad only in his boxers he laid over her again. "I love you Usako."

            "I know." She breathed as his hands and lips explored her body. Finally it would occur; finally she would fulfill her deepest dreams. He wanted her for more than her body, she wanted him for more than pleasure. An understanding was between them, forged of mutual desire and respect, an understand that had been lacking only two weeks ago.

            She pulled his lips to hers and rolled over so she could better explore his body, grateful for the darkness that covered her blush as she drew her fingers and lips over a body she had touched only a few times before. The knowledge that they would not be interrupted made her excited…and afraid. Friction, glorious friction made her throw back her head and almost sob with desire and relief as he grasped her hips to still her. "Usako…" he pulled her face to his. "You can't…"

            "I can and I will." She smiled impishly, removing his boxers, removing her remaining underwear. Grasping him in her hand, she felt a thrill of desire go through her at his semi-shout of startlement.

            "Let go Usako."

            "No."

            "If you don't, I'll…"

            "If I am not woman enough to get a rise out of you again, I do not deserve to be female." She said firmly.

            He muttered something unintelligible, and Usagi cursed his honour and gentlemanly ways at this moment. Steeling her courage, she lowered her mouth to him and his borderline scream made it worthwhile as he could not hold against the unexpected touch. He collapsed back amongst her pillows, breathing heavily and staring at her as though she was the entire world. Inwardly, Usagi was doing a victory dance. "_Damn I'm good_!" she thought.

            "Now vixen, allow me to return the favour." He growled in a voice that Usagi decided she wanted to hear forever. He flipped her on her back and proceeded to run fingers and lips over her over-sensitized skin, making her writhe, making her moan, making her curse him. 

            Whether it was her or the fact that he couldn't wait, he kissed her and stared deeply into her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked seriously, managing to overcome the lust that gave him the shakes.

            She nodded firmly. "I am, and I have been."

            "Are you…protected?"

            "In the drawer." She whispered, trembling at the moment.

            "Are you afraid?" he asked, returning to her and seeing her shaking.

            "A little."  She admitted.

            "Tell me if you want me to stop."

            She nodded and drew in a deep breath. "Ok, now."

            He shook his head and smiled. "It doesn't work that way Usako."

            She blinked, not understanding. He gently kissed her lips, re-igniting the flames that had burned through her but faded with fear. He wanted her insensate, mindless, unable to grasp the concept of fear. Despite all that had occurred in this bed, she was an innocent. He was the first to touch her, to see her, to taste her. Possessiveness curled his features into a feral snarl, she was his. Her hands danced over his body as he fought to keep a clear mind. She wanted him as mindless as she was, but he could not take that risk, not this time.  A caress, a kiss, a nudge and a push. Her cry made his heart bleed as his mind pleaded to shut down. 

            She wanted to say something to him, to tell him how she felt but she could only feel. He wanted to let her know how much he loved her but words failed him. Eyes spoke, hands clasped as an ageless dance began. They moved together, uncaring of the rest of the world. He loved her more than he could say and was thankful she had given him another chance. She adored him with every fibre of her being and was grateful she had resisted temptation with everyone else. This feeling, this need was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Pleasure…there should be another word for it, something stronger. To call this pleasure was to call a lottery winner happy. She craved release, would die if she didn't get it.

            She called his name, happy for his encouragement, his support. "Now Usako." He whispered.

            "It doesn't work that way Mamoru." She said in a broken voice, echoing his words of moment before. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes at the beauty of this moment. Heat pooled within her as she could withstand the feelings no longer. 

            Mamoru swore he had never seen such beauty before in his life as he witness Usagi undulate beneath him, bringing him over the edge with her into oblivion. Collapsing on her, withdrawing from her and pulling her close, he was utterly sated as she curled in his embrace and was convinced she was in heaven.

            It was with a heavy heart that Makoto climbed the stairs to the Hikawa Jinja, Haruka's words echoing through her brain. She truly hated Haruka more than anyone else, because she was free. Preparing her lie, praying her mind would not be torn apart, she steeled herself to face the demons within, smiling mirthlessly when she realized that it was not a metaphor.

            "Hey Motoki!" Haruka said cheerfully. "Coffee please." She sat on the stool, Michiru ordering iced tea.

            "Where's Usagi?" Michiru asked, looking around. "Isn't she working tonight?"

            Motoki laughed. "She's going to get paid for tonight, but she won't be in."

            "What do you mean?" Haruka asked, worried. "Is she ok?"

            "I'm sure she is." Motoki winked at them. "Mamoru was in here earlier looking for her."

            "And?" Michiru questioned, noticing Haruka had gone completely still.

            "Well he hasn't seen her since her…change, so I sent him over to her place." Motoki paused. "And I told him to tell her she has tonight off since he probably drowned in drool the instant she opened the door."

            "**WHAT?**" Haruka roared. "YOU SENT HIM TO HER APARTMENT LOOKING THE WAY SHE DOES? **WITHOUT** A CHAPERONE?!"

            "So what? They are in love and…things happen." He sighed. "Lucky bastard."

            Haruka was on her feet and reaching for Motoki before she realized that Mamoru had probably already taken her princess. "I'll kill him." She said calmly to Michiru before turning on her heel and heading to the door.

            "You just HAD to tell her that, didn't you?" Michiru muttered to Motoki before leaping off the stool and racing after her. "'Ruka, wait!"

            Motoki gestured to his sister. "Unazuki, take over here. I don't want to miss this."

            "And you think I do?" she replied, indignant. 

            He called over another coworker. "You're in charge of the café until we get back." 

            "Cool!"

            Casting off their aprons, Motoki and Unazuki raced after Haruka who was on the warpath and calling Setsuna and Hotaru.

            Usagi smiled a purely feminine smile as she rolled from her bed and headed to the bathroom. She was smug, having the grin of a woman well pleasured. She looked in the mirror to see if she had changed in any way, to see if there was any difference to her now, and she froze. "I've been waiting for you." The face in the mirror replied. "Did you think that I wouldn't?"

            The face in the mirror was not hers. 

            Hope I made it long enough! Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will be up next Sunday! Review please, it's what keeps me going! Thanks again to all who have reviewed and to all who put me on their favourites list…that gives me giddy giggles every time! Read my Harry Potter work if you don't mind slash! Check out my websites! Until next week!

Ja!


	19. There is nothing I can say or do

                Hello all and Happy Mothers Day! Here is the latest chapter, I hope you enjoy. Here also, are the final hints I am giving out for whodunit: It is NOT: Minako or Artemis. Decide who it is at your leisure. I write based on reviews, so read and review but be kind. Flames will be used as objects of scorn, derision and tittering. Don't flame me because then I have to acknowledge your existence and that just makes me irritated. Oh and to those who told me that I am copying Escaflowne and Evangelion: I have never seen those animes, I know nothing about those animes nor do I care to. With that out of the way: On with the story! Check out my websites and Harry Potter fics if you don't mind slash.

                I dedicate this chapter of Watch Me Shine to all Mothers out there!

                The face in the mirror smirked at her, as she closed her eyes in frustration, not even caring that she was naked. "I have just had the greatest experience of my life. Must you do this to me now? Can't I even savour the after effects of sex?" 

            The face in the mirror stopped just short of an outright laugh. "Foolish girl, haven't you learned by now that Trials occur when they are meant to, not on your agenda? As it is, we had to delay this one until you were finished…copulating."

            Usagi's face drew in on itself, until a furious look was evident even to a unobservant person. "How dare you?"

            "I dare because of what you will become. I dare because of the trust and the responsibility that has been placed in your hands. Now is not the time to falter, to fail. Now is the time to stand tall and go forth."

            "I haven't been doing that?" Usagi arched an eyebrow.

            "Don't get bitchy at me. This is the milestone Trial, all ones following this will be much more difficult than the ones you have done already."

            "How can they get more difficult?" Usagi asked, incredulous.

            "I assure you they can and they will. If you are successful with this one, you will have completed half of your Trials." A pause. "Do you know why I was chosen?"

            Usagi smiled. "An easy question. You are the one possessing a mirror Michiru."

            Michiru nodded. "The mirror…shows many things. Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass."1

            "Must I see this?" Usagi questioned, her voice wavering.

            "Yes." Michiru said simply, sealing the bathroom door behind Usagi, ensuring that they would not be interrupted.

            Haruka was oblivious to all things save the red haze of rage that coursed through her body. She ignored Michiru who was trying to calm her. "Spare me your endless barrage of platitudes Michi." She snapped. "He was warned several times, he knows the consequences of his actions but he chose to canoodle with her anyway. Now he will pay the piper." She shook her head in disgust. "He **touched** her Michi! Took her innocence from her!"

            "She wanted it." Michiru pointed out uselessly.

            "She is too young to know what she wants." Haruka said decisively. "I'll kill him!"

            "Usagi loves him, you can't kill him."

            "Maim him. Twist him. Bend him. Flip him." Haruka rattled off. "These are a few of my favourite things."

            "Don't you think you are taking this protective bodyguard thing too far?" Michiru inquired, knowing the answer.

            Haruka skidded to a halt and turned to look seriously at her lover. "Michiru, five times before she has put herself in danger or **died** and we either weren't there to protect her, or unable to. And now she has been cast from her so called friends, from her HOME, from everything and into a life she's not ready for, making decisions ten years too early at least. She needs guidance, she needs help – despite her sensible and mature decisions to this point, she is still only sixteen years old."

            Michiru nodded, understanding Haruka's protectiveness. "I know this."

            "Michi, you know me, perhaps better than anyone else alive. I **can't** stand by and let her be hurt, in any way. She's bright, and pure and innocent and I want to keep her that way for as long as possible. I don't want the light that shines on her face to go out, she is my hope Michi. She is the world's hope I can feel it. So Mamoru takes her virginity - that steals a little more of that precious innocence she has – along with being cast out and fighting for what is hers, for having to give up on her daughter, for having to find a home and job. Each thing she does takes a bit more of her innocence. I would not have her lose that part of herself for anything for it will be her purity that saves all of us. She has died for us, for our failures, for our sins so many times before. I have to protect her now, from herself and from the one who manipulated everything." Haruka explained quietly. 

            Michiru placed a gentle hand on Haruka's shoulder. "I understand 'Ruka. Just don't dismember him, ok?"

            "I make no promises."

            The world swam into view as Hotaru opened her eyes and looked around. '_I'm at the Jinja.'_ She thought. _'Perfect, they trapped me just like I wanted to. Fools, you would think that they'd leave the one with the power of death alone, but stupidity seems to be catching.'_ She saw Minako standing guard. "Minako."

            Minako nodded to her coolly. "You are to be brought to account for the betrayal and abandonment of the True Leader and Queen."

            "Are you still spouting that?" Hotaru asked casually as she stretched her legs. 

            "There is no way out, unless you use that dread power of yours." Minako informed her in a wistful tone. "You have to kill me first."

            Desperation? Yearning? What was that emotion that quavered in Minako's voice? What had been done to her, one who was once so vibrant, alive and amusing? Did she still spout sayings backwards? Did her eyes still light up at the sight of a cute man as she rubbed her hands and muttered 'Let the games begin'? No, Hotaru shook her head sadly. She has been beaten into submission. "That can be arranged. The scent of death is all around this place, tinged with new life."

            "Rei is pregnant."

            Hotaru nodded, a smile playing on her features. This was news she could use to her advantage, news that changed her original plans.  "Very well Minako, I will grant your wish."

            "What wish?"

            "Death."

            Makoto knelt before Rei and Chibi Usa, ignoring Luna who was scolding her, focusing on Rei. "You fool, you pure useless girl! You waste of a Senshi…" Luna railed, not seeing that Makoto had tuned her out. 

            "Enough Luna." Rei said abruptly. "Leave us."

            "Yea, leave us!" Chibi Usa echoed.

            "I meant you too." Rei said pointedly. "She is my friend and soldier, not yours."

            "She is my servant!"

            "Get out of here!" Rei pointed to the door. 

            Chibi Usa sneered. "I leave because I want to. I know when I'm not welcome."

            "That could be anywhere." Rei replied as she turned her back on them, casting a charm around the room to dissuade eavesdroppers.  The room was empty, save the two of them and Makoto trembled, knowing what was coming next. "Makoto, you didn't fight Usagi as I ordered you to, you went after Haruka. A foolish pursuit but since you have been competing with her from the start, a bit of forgiveness on my part will not go to waste." She sighed. "You lied to me Mako-chan. You lied to me, your friend, and your leader. How could you?"

            Makoto didn't reply. How could she? Rei was her friend…or she had been, before she allowed her mind to be consumed by her darkest secrets and desires. She had changed so swiftly, so suddenly. She went from coveting the leadership of the Senshi to taking it by force. Makoto remembered well when Rei had kept Usagi's crescent wand from her, almost content to let her choke to death by Kunzite's hands. She remembered Rei slapping Usagi more times that she deserved, for pleasure. Was friendship like this - so using and hurtful? Makoto was not big on friendship, had never really had them to begin with. Her friendship with Usagi was soothing, calm, and peaceful. Usagi never asked, never demanded, never pushed. She was **there** and that was all. Rei was not like that. Tears welled up in her eyes, she hated this, **HATED** it with an intense and burning passion. Why couldn't they turn back time? Why did all this have to happen? Why was she stuck in the middle, so caught up in the memory of a friendship that no longer existed? She was a servant, a slave and knew it well. Rei invaded her thoughts, her dreams, and her private sanctuary. There was no future here and she knew what she had to do. "I'm sorry Rei." She said mournfully. "I'm so, so sorry."

            Rei almost felt pity for the wretch on the floor. "Oh Makoto…" was all she got out before a knife thrust to her throat took the wind out of her. A palm heel strike to the bridge of her nose made her eyes water, blinding her. An elbow to her ribs as she was flipped to the floor stunned her and a punch to her floating rib (and breaking it) caused her to curl up defensively to protect her baby and crippled her. Lying in a ball of pain on the floor, Makoto shook her head at Rei. 

            "I'm sorry Rei." Makoto whispered. "But I can't take anymore. This is wrong, it has always been wrong and you, you will not defeat Usagi. I was wrong to vote her out, I was wrong to stay with you, and I was wrong to believe in you. If Usagi will have me, I am her vessel, if not, I am a mercenary." She let out a deep breath, feeling a weight lift off her. "You will not invade and rape my mind again Rei, for the next time you do I will surely kill you."

            "Look into the mirror." Michiru urged.

            Usagi reluctantly raised her eyes to the mirror, as Michiru's face swam before her and changed. Distorted itself, and became Usagi…but different. A sneer was on her face, a superior smirk and a confidence that Usagi did not have. Her clothing was dark and tight, her demeanour arrogant. "Bring it in." she commanded in a voice Usagi would never use.

            The guards slapped their chests in acknowledgement as they drug in a person who put up a hell of a fight. Throwing them in a heap at Usagi's feet, they stood nearby. "Leave us." She ordered. "No matter what you hear in here, you are not to come in or intervene."

            "As you command Mistress." The voice was Setsuna's!

            "Chiba Mamoru." Usagi drawled, heading for the wall. "You are guilty of two timing, of seeing another woman, of protecting your child and of leading a rebellion against me." 

            Mamoru raised his head, bloody and battered though he was, defiance shone in his eyes. "I would do it again. The people deserve to be free you witch! To have free control over their minds, to be free to do and say whatever they want!"

            "You think so." It was a statement. She pulled an item off the wall and ran it through her fingers, seeing his eyes widen in recognition and fear. "I am the Moon Princess."

            "Dark Moon perhaps." He spat.

            "Without me this Galaxy would be dead or dying."

            "Is life in bondage any better than death?"

            "I hear no complaints."

            "If the people do not speak, it is because they are afraid!"

            Usagi only smiled sardonically and opened a door, yanking out a person who had been shoved in there and was trembling in fear and filth. "Don't hurt me anymore!" she wailed.

            Usagi knelt and lifted the chin so that the eyes met hers. "So proud. Feisty. I like that." She said softly. "Look at her Mamoru. Was she worth it – my Prince?"

            "What did you to her?" he demanded, fighting the restraints that held his hands.

            "I only gave her what she deserved." Usagi replied. "Hino Rei, you are found guilty of touching Royal property and you will now watch him be punished."

            Rei's eyes focused on the item in Usagi's hands and shook her head. "No!"

            Dark as sin, oiled and coiled around itself, a metal core surrounded by braided leather, all one piece. As beautiful as it was deadly, Usagi's whip was well known throughout Crystal Tokyo. She pulled her hand back and struck Mamoru once. He flinched but did not cry out. "You make no outcry Chiba." She commented. "You hold your tongue almost as well as I hold my temper."

            "I will not give you the satisfaction." He ground out through gritted teeth. 

            "They all say that in the beginning." Usagi confided. "Seiya."

            Seiya appeared from behind her throne. "My love?"

            "Make sure that Rei gets an unobstructed view." She ordered.

            "Done my love."

            Usagi drew in a breath and struck him again, and again, in a repeated rhythm until he was a bloody mass on the floor. "Minako!" she called.

            Minako didn't even look at the floor. "My Queen?"

            "Bring the child in, and get _that_" she looked at the body with disgust. "out of here."

            Rei's heartbreaking screams would have tormented Usagi's soul…if she had any soul left.

            Haruka dragged in Chibi Usa and threw her at Usagi's feet. "Now child, you will pay for living. You are a failure and a disappointment to me as a daughter. Here now, is the reward you so richly deserve." Usagi's lips drew back from her teeth in a feral snarl. "Seiya, shut Rei up."

            "Of course." Seiya said smoothly, smashing his hand over Rei's mouth, breaking some teeth.

            Turning to face her daughter, Usagi lifted her whip again.

            "NO! NO! NO!" Usagi screamed, pounding on the mirror. "That is not me! What is that?"

            Michiru's face reappeared. "These are the thoughts that go through your head. This is what you want to do to Rei, what you want to do to Chibi Usa, what you want to do to Mamoru – your beloved. This is you as evil, this is what you are capable of if you let yourself."

            Usagi trembled. "I could never be that terrible."

            "Really?" Michiru arched an eyebrow. "Why then Usagi, do you think of it every time you think of Rei or Chibi Usa?"

            "They are just random thoughts! Not actions!"

            "In your case, they are the same."

            "No." Usagi shook her head, frantic. "That is not me. I have the best of intentions."

            Michiru turned to allow a face to join hers. Minako sneered at Usagi. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions Tsukino. Do you think you can get off the path?"

            Haruka angrily beat her fists against the barrier Usagi had erected to keep people out. "Michiru, get me in there."

            Michiru sighed. "I can't get in. No one can until Usagi removes the spell."

            Haruka sat on the floor, fuming at being outwitted. "I am SO going to hurt them."

            Motoki and Unazuki were stifling giggles as they remained silent and laid their bets.

            "I am not on the road to hell."

            "Look." Minako pointed. Ghostly forms filled the sky, blazing with red fire, blacker than night. "These are the souls of all those you have killed. They are the devil's spawn now."

            "I did not do that."

            "She did." Michiru pointed to the evil Usagi. "She listened to her dreams."

            "With them you will be." Minako nodded. "Unless you change your ways. You are evil at the core."

            "I am not like that!"

            "Why then, do you think such black thoughts?" Minako questioned. "Only when you let go of all your illusions, all your beliefs and all that you are clinging to will you be truly free. You are tormented by sins you haven't even committed. What does that speak about you?"

            Usagi closed her eyes, haunted…and thrilled at the sight and thought of her whipping Chibi Usa and Rei. Of torturing them and making them pay. What kind of creature was she when she could not move past this vice? "They deserve it." She said grimly. "And I stand by my choice, and my thoughts. If I am pure in thought, word, and deed, what naïveté will there be for my enemies to exploit? You cannot have light without darkness, nor darkness without light. I have darkness within me, I accept it and I understand it. It will not get out, it will not break free. This is who I am, and this is my sin."

            Michiru and Minako nodded. "Indeed, no one can be as pure and innocent as you are required to be. What will you do about it?"

            "Keep my thoughts to myself. I will not go mad with power like that, though my dangerous side wants to. I will not join the ghostly horde bound for hell. I have my darkness, I have my temper. I know this and accept it – as the Powers That Be should as well."

            Minako and Michiru exchanged a glance. "You have passed the 6th and 7th Trials. Congratulations…dark one." 

            Usagi didn't move even after her face returned to the mirror, savouring the sight of her giving Rei and Chibi Usa what for, and paying them back every lash of pain they had ever dealt  her.

            So that is it! I use a direct quote out of Lord of the Rings here and I am acknowledging that here and now because it fit and because I don't want people screaming plagiarism. I do not own Lord of the Rings, am not affiliated with it any way, and only borrowed the phrase. So that is it for this week! Only four Trials to go…and to all you Seiya lovers out there, he's not out of the running yet!

À bientôt!


	20. Through with you

            I'm not JK Rowling or Naoko Takeuchi. I don't like the Matrix or Escaflowne, nor do I care that they exist. I write fiction and fanfiction and poetry, and I don't care about flames, though they are amusing. I can proudly write about anything I want, because even though I have an imagination, Flamers still hunt me down! I believe in writing what you want, any way you want and sick, twisted, grammatically incorrect fics described as good! I believe in reviewing, even if it means emailing the author and writing something, and Mamoru said **"Love Me**" not "**I love you!**" Harry and Draco are the largest ship in the Potterverse, Usagi and Mamoru the largest Moonie one, and all flamers can rot in hell where your unimaginative kind exist. My name is Serenitas and I write fanfic! Thank you very much.  

(If you have ever heard the "I am Canadian" rant by Joe Canada, get that tune in your head before reading this.) Enjoy the new chapter, sorry it's short but I have a new job and Real Life is interfering. 

            Mamoru stretched languidly in the bed that he shared with Usagi. A grin slowly crept across his face as he buried his face in a pillow that she had laid upon. Her scent was all around him, as he closed his eyes to relive the past few hours. He had seen Nirvana, touched Heaven, been to Paradise and now he could die a happy man. Usagi had been some time in the washroom and just as he was considering going after her (for a shower together also), the door opened and a white-faced Usagi walked out. He understood that she had just undergone another Trial and all thoughts of more lovemaking vanished from his mind as he leapt across the room to lead her back to the bed. Her gorgeous eyes were so haunted, speaking volumes to him, telling him more than words ever could. At this moment she needed reassurance, as if she had discovered something about herself that she had denied, as if she had come to a realization that terrified her. "I enjoyed it Mamoru." She said in a dead voice. "I watched myself torture and degrade and humiliate them and I enjoyed it. I wanted them to hurt. I wanted to go into the mirror and hurt them more."

            Mamoru said nothing, sensing that his comments would not be welcome. "I watched you be killed and felt no emotion, I was responsible for a reign of tyranny and slavery and fear that was renowned through the Galaxy. I was dark and I was cruel and for a moment I closed my eyes to savour the emotion. The darkest part of my soul, the part I always denied I saw. So many times since the Pink Spoor arrived have I had dark thoughts and dreams of hurting her, of torturing her. So frequently when Rei would lay into me for no apparent reason would I visualize causing her half as much pain as she caused me. I finally got to see it played out in front of me, what would happen if I chose another path…and I enjoyed it."

            A chill ran down his spine. He knew he was dealing with a powerful woman, but up until this point he never realized just how dangerous she could be. That she was so blasé about what she had seen, what another manifestation of her had done…there were no words for him to describe it. This was not his gentle Usako who loved pink and bunny rabbits and gave soft and tender kisses. This was an Usagi (for Usako was too cute) who was into art deco, black and liked it hard, fast and rough. 

            "So what do you think of that?" she finished, her eyes catching his, preparing to see the horror and the disgust in them. She was not disappointed.

            "Usagi…you have just told me that you saw yourself perform unspeakable horrors and you felt no remorse."

            "Do you have any idea the torment some of these Trials have put me through? And to do two at once…it's hard."

            "You are pure and beautiful and good." Mamoru continued.

            "Am I not allowed to have darkness in me?"

           "Not you, not the Light of Hope. You are everything to so many people, and the fact that you got off on the torture you tell me about, the fact that these thoughts have occurred before…despite Chibi Usa being what she is, despite Rei being the way she is…Usagi I can't accept that."

            "It's part of me Mamoru. You told me that you loved me for who I am and who I am becoming. You told me that you put your allegiance, love and trust in me."

            "If this is who you are, if this is who you are going to be…if you have these thoughts…then I cannot. I can't be the consort of a cold blooded killer." Mamoru began looking for his clothes.

            Usagi's eyes burned with an icy fire even as they welled up with tears. "You promised." She whimpered. "You promised you wouldn't do this to me. You promised to support me and be with me."

            "I never knew you capable of this Usagi." Mamoru sighed as he pulled on his shirt. "How does this make you any better than Beryl who killed all borne of the reason that she was spurned and cast out of the Senshi? How does this make you better than Chaos who wanted total control?"

            "I recognize and accept these desires. It's part of who I am. No one can be as pure and naïve as you seem to think. It's impossible."

            "It IS possible Usagi, you just don't want to and I think that's horribly selfish of you."

            "Can I not be like everyone else?"

            "You never have been Usagi and that seems to be the point you are missing." Mamoru searched for his shoes.

            "You're leaving me." She said in a whisper, horror racing through her. 

            "I thought I could accept you no matter what." He looked into her hurt and horrified and glazed eyes. He saw the light in them fading and somehow he knew it might never come back again. "I realized you were changing into someone who would shine and light up the world. I saw your growing power, noticed your hidden intelligence, and recognized your cunning and desire to reclaim what was yours. I admired it, I loved it, and I yearned for it."

            "Now you have tasted it."

            "I was wrong." He said simply. "You are not the person I thought you were Tsukino Usagi, you are not the white and pure angel I wanted you to be."

            "So you're leaving because I will not conform to your stupid and impossible standards?"

            "I'm leaving because I see you becoming the embodiment of the creature who destroyed our timeline, who destroyed my planet. I'm leaving because like it or not Usagi, you are evil."

            Those were his final words as he quietly closed the bedroom door behind him and walked to the door out of the apartment not realizing that all hell was about to break loose.

            Makoto ran. She yearned to be the wind, to race with it, to become one with it and not stop until she was far, far away from here and not embroiled in the turmoil and mess that she was in.  There was one place for her to go, one place for protection. She would beg, she would plead for she had nothing left. No pride, no dignity and no honour, but she would promise to serve Usagi with all her heart if only it would keep her safe and away from Rei. The apartment that Usagi lived in shone like a beacon in her mind, a sanctuary where she could at last be safe. She knew not if Rei followed her but she ran like the hounds of hell themselves were on her heels. It was all coming to a head, spiralling together into an explosive climax from which people might die. If she had to go, she was going on her terms, following the one she believed in. 

            "You'll grant me death?" Minako's eyebrows nearly crawled off her forehead.

            "It is your fondest wish. I can smell it coming off you in waves, your yearning, your desire for the eternal darkness that is death. I will grant it to you."

            Minako shut her eyes, torn between gratitude that it would all end in a heartbeat and horror, desperate desire inside her screaming '_I don't want to die!'_ but the power of Rei and Chibi Usa was too strong, and Rei's Chi had a will of it's own. "Do it."

            Hotaru drew her lips up in a small smile. "You think I'm going to do it here? Now?"

            "You're not?" Minako's heart dropped. She had been so close…

            "I WILL kill you, if that is what you want. You have captured the power of death itself, and I will be more than happy to turn my power on you if for no other reason than payback for the pain in my head."

            "So why won't you?"

            "I never said it would be painless. It will hurt a lot to die. It will be tremendous pain, horrible pain." 

            "I thought you could make it not hurt."

            "I COULD, but I choose not to." She sighed and shrugged. "You see I'm in a bit of bind here. I have a mission to complete and as much as I would like to kill the one who has hurt Usagi, who turned against her despite all your blather about redemption and finding your way again, blah, blah, blah…" she waved her hands to emphasize her point. "Then **I** will be an outcast, a mercenary on the run."

            "What are you talking about?" Minako narrowed her eyes.

            "The only one who has the power to take life or grant it at a whim is the True Queen. I can only take life in battle, and we are not fighting therefore I cannot do what you ask."

            Minako looked at her furiously. "You made me believe…"

            "You believed what you want to. Until you understand the power that I follow, you will understand nothing. You take me to Rei now." Hotaru said firmly.

            Minako's eyes widened in comprehension. "You're going to kill her."

            "Perhaps."

            Mamoru closed the door behind him and closed his eyes, unable to believe what he'd done. A roar broke through the silence of the hall. "You unmitigated BASTARD!"

            The only thing he saw, other than stars was a furious blonde head and a fist aiming straight for him. "What the…" he spat, spitting out a tooth.

            "You touched her! You were warned and warned and you did it anyways! You're going to die, fiancée or not!" Haruka roared, grabbing one of his arms and yanking it roughly behind his back, dislocating it.

            "Let me go!"

            "You'll pay for the innocence you've taken!" 

            Mamoru laughed bitterly. "Innocent? Her? You jest surely. Go in and talk to her. Listen to her talk about her last Trial…she tortured, she maimed, she destroyed. She watched herself torture and hurt Rei and Chibi Usa and she enjoyed it. She revelled in it. You want innocence and purity? It's not with her. She is evil just as sure as any enemy we ever fought was."

            Haruka paused and glanced at Michiru, worry shading her features. "Another Trial?" Michiru said softly. 

            "What number does that make?" Motoki asked from the background; where he and Unazuki were hidden and unnoticed.

            "Six I think." Haruka counted. She turned to Mamoru, eyes narrowed dangerously. "She told you about her Trials?"

            "Yes and how she had a iron grip and a reign of terror, slavery and corruption. How everyone was afeared of her, how she captured Rei and Chibi Usa and tortured them. Made them hurt. How she paid them back every cruelty ever accorded her and she relished it." Mamoru explained. "I have left her for good, for I cannot be with someone who's heart is so black."

            "You hypocrite." Michiru spat. "No one can be as pure as you believe."

            "She is no better than Beryl, or Chaos." Mamoru said stubbornly. 

            "You took her virginity and then you left her?" Haruka asked slowly.

            "I did, and I will not return. I love her, and I admire her strength, her power and her courage. But I cannot and do not admire her heart. It is not beautiful and huge and forgiving, her soul not untarnished and untouched. She is not the Light of Hope, but the Destroyer of it."

            Whatever else Mamoru was going to say he never got the chance to for Haruka's fist was joined with Michiru's and Motoki's as one made contact to his mouth, one to his stomach and one to his ribs. The wind knocked out of him, he crumpled in a heap on the floor as Haruka let out an evil laugh and turned to him. "You hurt her. Again." She stated. "You will die now."

            Unazuki cleared her throat. "Forgive me for interrupting this wonderful show, but shouldn't someone be inside with Usagi now? Mamoru has left her and she's vulnerable and prey to who knows what."

            Haruka nodded. "Point well taken." She kicked Mamoru. "You filthy cur. You will be gone from these premises by the time I come out and if I see you go anywhere near her again, your life is forfeit."

            She spun on her heel to enter the apartment and was unprepared for the sight that greeted her inside.

            Rei jumped with a start from the Sacred Fire, the vision scaring her. A dark shadow which she could only term as death was heading towards her, and hell followed with it. Fear, fear such as she had not known for a long time ran down her spine as she understood that Chibi Usa and Luna were going to try and kill her, to dispose of her properly for her usefulness was at an end and the child she carried could not be allowed to live.

            Chibi Usa plotted, she planned. She would turn on Rei as Rei knew she would, for if she did not attack, Rei would come after her. Luna was going to be disposed of, the renegade Senshi eliminated and she would create new ones and her mother…a special punishment lay in store for her. Mamoru would be hers at last, with Helios at her side.

            "We finish this." A voice echoed in a void. "It's almost done, for good or for evil."


	21. A million miles between us

                _Remember me? I'm back. I had to take an Uzi and hunt my muse down since she went on vacation and didn't leave a forwarding address. Add to that moving across the country (after just returning from Tokyo), moving into a haunted murder house, the crashing and subsequent re-designing of my website and getting a new job…my writing has been sporadic at best, but I am back now, and regularly and will no longer make excuses._

_                We are almost to the end of an epic that I never expected this fic to be. It blossomed and grew. To answer many questions: the changes Usagi has gone through…so have I. The betrayal, the denial, the usage by others. Is this Usagi or is this me, I'm not quite certain._

_                I am accepting submissions on my website of fanfics if you want to submit. Right now it's all HP, but I will happily add SM if there are people who would like me to post their work, so let me know. My new website addy: www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com. Check it out ne?_

_                Standard disclaimers. Read and review but be kind. No flames, and good ratings. Enjoy. I write based on reviews, so let's get them in!_

                Usagi sat on her bed, not wrapped in agony and tears as Haruka and the others thought they would find, not held tightly in the embrace of Seiya's arms, no, what they saw both thrilled and terrified the hell out of them. Usagi stood in front of her window dressed only in her robe, her head bowed. Power was emanating off her in waves and it was obvious she was furious. "What did you do to him?" she asked in a voice they didn't recognize.

                "Oh a little bit of this, a little bit of that." Haruka said lightly. "How are you doing?"

                "I have done what needed to be done." She replied curtly.

                "You **needed** to lay with him?" Michiru arched an eyebrow.

                "I wanted to out of love, out of commitment and out of desire for him. I needed to so that my purity could not be used as a weapon against me." Usagi turned from them and Haruka's eyes teared up at the sight of her. Her long hair cascaded to the floor as her eyes reflected wisdom far too old for one so young. "Did you know that one of my Trials was one of fidelity? Do you know that I said no to the one man who has worshipped and adored me from the moment he set eyes on me?"

                "Yet you stayed true to the one you love."

                "Loved." Usagi snapped at Unazuki. "I cannot tolerate this anymore. One minute he loves me, the next he hates me. One minute he treats me like a child, the next – a woman. One moment he thinks I'm the most pure soul in creation, the next I am the Destroyer. He has toyed with me for the last time. I won't have it. I deserve better than this and him. If he chooses to return to me as I'm sure he will, I won't make it so easy for him even if I do take him back."

                "That sounds a bit militant Usagi." Motoki said, smiling. "You going to join the other side?"

                "Couldn't do that, women are insane." She winked at Haruka and Michiru who laughed. 

                "So, what do we do now?"

                Usagi tilted her head to the side. "We wait. I have company coming and she should be here very soon."

                "Where is Hotaru?" Michiru questioned. "I haven't seen her in some time."

                "Carrying out my orders." Usagi replied.

                Motoki walked towards Usagi and reached for her. "Usagi I want you to know …"

                She held up a hand, silencing him. "No Motoki, say nothing. Whether it is to bless him or to curse him, I do not need to hear it. My path is set, my goals set in motion. I now know what it is I have to do, and with my last Trial, with Mamoru leaving me, I now know who is behind this masquerade."

                "Who is it Usagi?" Haruka asked, eyes wide.

                "You're not ready to know."

                "I'm ready!" Haruka protested. 

                Usagi clenched her fists at her side, one moment appearing frail and delicate, the gentlest of all creatures, in this instant appearing strong as steel. Michiru tilted her head to the side, observing the entire thing, realizing that this entire debacle that had occurred, wasn't about what Usagi had to go through to achieve the Throne, no it was more than that. This…mission as it were, had turned it into a question, and the question was: Who is Tsukino Usagi?

                "Hello Rei."

                Rei froze, a shudder coursing through her. She said nothing, just kept her back to the door. In retrospect, considering who stood there, it was not the wisest course of action for her.  She turned slowly, face draining of all colour. She had made a stupid move, and now she was going to pay for it. Standing framed in the doorway was Hotaru, far more deadly for her seeming innocence. 

                "Why Hino Rei," Hotaru drawled as she stepped in the room. "You look like someone just walked over your grave."

"Haven't they?" Rei asked in a hoarse voice. She attempted to glare coolly at Hotaru, but it did no good. She had gone after death, and now death was going to make her pay. "Are you going to kill me now?"

                The question amused Hotaru, who smiled slightly. "Perhaps." She walked towards Rei. "You see, I **could** kill you, and no one would say otherwise, not even Usagi would question me, she trusts me that much."

                "She is a fool."

                "Ah, there you are wrong traitorous one. She is far too intelligent for her own good."

                "So what is to keep you from killing me, or that traitor behind you?"

                Hotaru glanced briefly at Minako before turning back to Rei. "My fight is not with you, despite my burning desire to turn this place into a vortex of death, yet I am not the only one with the dread power of life and death. One other has it as well."

                "And is too stupid to use it." Rei snorted.

                "You think so?" Hotaru arched an eyebrow. "Or is it just that she has restraint? That she has infinite patience with those who spurn, betray and hurt her?"

                "You make her sound like a God." Minako breathed from the background.

                "Isn't she?" Hotaru asked, cryptic as always. "That is neither here nor there. I cannot kill you Rei."

                "I knew it!" Rei crowed, her confidence returning with the reassurance of her life. 

                "Why?" Minako asked, almost pleadingly.

                "She carries an innocent within her. I cannot take her life without killing one who does not deserve it. The sins of the parent cannot be carried over to the child. If I were to judge this child, I become no better than Rei, and I am." Hotaru explained. "Only one person has the authority and the ability to kill Rei."

                "She won't." Rei nodded in assurance.

                "So certain you seem." Hotaru smiled. "I like that."

                "You think she will?" Rei suddenly didn't seem so self-assured.

                "That I cannot say. I do not dare speak for her after all. She is Queen."

                "Why are you here?" Rei barked.

                "I originally was coming in peace, but you had me attacked. You attacked the power of death in an attempt to harness it and force it to serve you. Rei, I thought you gave yourself credit for your so-called brains."

                "Get on with it!"

                "I came to tell you the truth."

                "Truth? About what?"

                "Your child within is not Mamoru's." Hotaru told her.

                Rei's hand went to her abdomen. "What are you saying? I had Chiba Mamoru, we created this child together!"

                "You had a man that night, but it wasn't Mamoru." 

                Rei thought rapidly, realizing that Hotaru's words only corroborated what Chibi Usa had told her the night of conception. "Who is the father then?"

                "Look closer to home, instead of farther away." Hotaru answered. 

                Rei opened her mouth, but Hotaru and Minako were gone.

                "Open the door Motoki, I have a guest." Usagi said coolly, for all the world neither seeming nor sounding like herself.

                "How'd you know?"

                "Open the door. She is afraid out there."

                Motoki opened the door to see a panting Makoto leaning on the door. She stumbled slightly and then walked inside, kneeling at the sight of Usagi. "You've changed."

                "You haven't." 

                "Why are you here?" Haruka asked abruptly, unnerved by Usagi and needing someone to strike out at. Michiru patted her arm in knowing sympathy, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. 

                "Usagi, it was wrong. I was wrong. She's insane, they both are. I seek protection. If I am marked to die, then I want to do it fighting on the side that I believe in. Rei and Chibi Usa are not those people." She closed her eyes.

                "You broke a sacred oath Makoto – a blood oath. Things like this are not easily forgiven nor forgotten." Usagi said, her expression stony.

                "I know, I know." Makoto said, tears in her eyes. "I have failed in my sacred duty, I turned against you when I should have believed. I never should have doubted you."

                "No, you shouldn't have." Usagi agreed. "I tried to take Minako back, and she has been disappointing. Getting herself recaptured by Rei, brainwashed. Never quite certain what side she is on. I am distressed at our Senshi of Love. Why then, should I believe that you would be any different?"

                "I am not Minako, you should know this."

                "I tend to doubt my previous experiences, having been shown that no one is trustworthy, save my Outer Senshi, and even there I fear I have sorely misjudged them." Usagi glanced briefly at Michiru and Haruka.

                Haruka frowned and arched an eyebrow at Michiru who shrugged. 

                Makoto gritted her teeth as she adjusted her stance on the floor, raising her eyes to Usagi's.  "I did not give you permission to raise your eyes, lower them." She said waving a hand at her.

                Makoto instantly stared at the floor. "What would you have me do?"

                Usagi began to pace. "I have undergone Trials and faced things that would make the strongest of warriors weep and beg to be let off. I have come to know and understand things that would make the wisest scream in horror before blocking their ears for eternity, and through it all I remained the same – only stronger. Today, I find that it has changed."

                "Mamoru." Unazuki muttered in the background, spitting his name out like a curse.

                "Perhaps it was him, or perhaps it was the Me in the mirror." Usagi shook her head. "Either way, the end is coming…sooner than you think. Are you afraid Makoto?"

                "I am."

                "Of death?"

                "I do not fear death, for it is only leading me to the next great adventure."

                "Diplomatically put." Usagi smiled briefly. "How will you serve me?"

                "With all that I am."

                "I recall you making a similar vow and breaking it."

                "I give you my word."

                Usagi paused. "A tempting proposition Makoto. You give me your word? Unbinding? Unbreakable? The one thing in existence that defines you more than anything else ever could? You give me your word?"

                "Yes. Without cause or reservation."

                "Rise and look at me." Usagi ordered, sounding for all the world similar to Rei. Could her body have been taken over by Rei's spirit?

                Makoto stood and stared into the silver-blue eyes of Usagi, unable to see her reflection, as she would in a normal set of eyes. She was sucked in and absorbed, every bit of her laid bare to Usagi's scrutiny, no secrets, nothing hidden.  It should have been humiliating; instead it was exhilarating being so close to Usagi. Almost able to touch this glorious person who she had once been honoured to call a friend. "I have not been possessed. Rather, I have been freed." Usagi said softly in her ear. "I believe you Makoto and I take you back. I give you my protection, but know that it comes with a price, one that you might have to pay upon sooner rather than later."

                "I'm not afraid." Makoto told her firmly.

                A slow smile spread across Usagi's face. "I was counting on it."

                Chibi Usa paced, unable to think of a plan. All of her ideas had been drained from her and she didn't know how or why. She couldn't steal from Usagi, couldn't try to kill her…yet. What was left for her to do? Helios would rape her if she so desired, but did she want that yet? She shook her head in disgust. She was thinking like a petty and common criminal. She needed something that would paralyse Usagi, something to take her out of commission and open her up for Chibi Usa to reclaim what was hers. As if a light bulb was over her head, she got an idea. Why continue to send her lackeys out to do it for her? Usagi couldn't stand confrontation, and if she were faced with her repentant and dutiful daughter she would believe anything Chibi Usa said. For all that she had changed, for all that she had accomplished, she was still Tsukino Usagi, still her fool mother from the future and open to Chibi Usa's manipulation.  She nodded with satisfaction. If she cried, if she pleaded and wrung her hands petulantly, Usagi would cave like a stack of cards. 

                "Luna!" she called.

                "My liege?" Luna curtsied as best she could.

                "Leave a message for Helios. He is to go and find Mamoru. Bring him to me undamaged and prepare him for my bed when I return…the original plan can still work."

                "Of course. Anything else?"

                "Tell Helios that he is not to come after me. If he shows up, he'll blow all my plans to hell."

                Luna stared at Chibi Usa with adoration in her eyes. "It is my pleasure to do that for you, and to serve you."

                "I know."

                Mamoru stood overlooking the water, wishing for a good typhoon to hit. He needed to rage, to vent, to scream. Why couldn't anyone understand what he saw when he looked at Usagi? "She is not what I thought she was." He muttered.

                "And you are wholly unworthy of her." A pause. "I saw it first, but I never told a soul…save Usagi. She remained amazingly strong to my power of coercion."

                He turned and his eyes widened. "You!"

                A brief laugh. "Me."  
  


                "You're behind this entire gambit."

                "I am." A glance at the sky. "And judging from what I see, Usagi is moving into her Final Trial right about now."

                "She has done all of them since I left?"

                "She will do all of them as one."

                "That might kill her."

                "Better them than me."

                "How could you?"  Mamoru exclaimed.

                "How could I not?"

                _Has anyone out there figured out who is behind this? Let me know in your reviews!_


	22. I'm never going back

                Here is one of the final chapters of Watch Me Shine! I added this as soon as I could to keep people from screaming and yelling at me. Congratulations to five people who reviewed the last chapter, they have accurately guessed who is behind it! I give probably the most obvious answer in this chapter, so you all should figure out who it is, and if not – next chapter will be the revelations. 

                I am accepting submissions on my website so feel free to submit.  www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com. Thanks to all who reviewed my last chapter, your reviews mean the world to me and thanks for the compliments! Standard disclaimers. Flames will be used for scorn, tittering and derision. I write based on reviews.

                Luna wandered the streets of Juuban searching for Helios, intent on her assignment, determined to serve her Queen to the fullest. So preoccupied was she that she didn't see the sack coming behind her, nor the satisfaction that flitted across the face of a blue-haired girl as she tossed the sack over her shoulder and, with the company of a white cat at her feet headed to the apartment where this mess would be sorted once and for all. "Are you sure about this Ami?" Artemis asked, tentative.

               "Artemis, she must know. If she doesn't already, then she has to be told. We can't keep this from her any longer. My only question left, is _why?_"

                "You and me both." Artemis muttered as he picked up his pace to match her purposeful strides.

                Usagi glanced at the sky and turned back to her crowded living room. "If you would excuse me, it's time for my final Trial."

                "You couldn't possibly have done them all in the time since…" Haruka sputtered.

                Usagi smiled faintly. "No, but fate has decided that the time for toying with me is done. The stakes have been up, the end is coming near and therefore, due to extreme weariness on my part I will take all the Trials as one."

                "That will kill you!" Haruka protested.

                Usagi walked over to Haruka and brushed her cheek with her hand gently. "My dear Senshi, my most protective and faithful warrior, I have never doubted you, never mistrusted you and always known deep down that you have my best interests at heart. No matter what happens to me or where my road goes, know that you are my heir apparent and should I not return, the leadership of the Senshi is yours."

                Haruka's jaw dropped in shock and surprise. "Nani?" 

                Usagi nodded. "Have a little faith in me, perhaps I won't be broken by one who has spent far too much time in solitary."

                "You give me the gift of leadership?" Haruka blinked.

                "In front of witnesses who will vouch for you. I choose you Ten'no Haruka." Usagi headed for the door, pausing briefly with her hand on the knob. "Don't let me down."

                "I'd kill you if I could." Mamoru spat.

                "I know."

                "She loves you, she trusts you!"

                "We've covered this already."

                "WHY?" Mamoru wailed. He shook his head abruptly. "Forget it, I don't care. I'm going to her."

                The figure was contemptuous. "Do you really think that after your accusations and how you acted that you're going to be allowed anywhere near her?"

                "They can't stop me."

                "Oh they can, and they will. But first you would have to deal with me and I assure you Mamoru, you aren't ready for that."

                "And she is?"

                "I do what I am trained to do. What I was raised to do. What I swore an oath to do. You interfere now and you'll destroy everybody's life."

                "I just can't let her not know the truth!" Mamoru snapped.

                "What makes you think she doesn't?"

                Mamoru stopped dead. "She's figured it out?"

                "She is far from stupid Chiba. I revealed myself with her last Trial and she knew it. She knows what is expected of her, and is on her way to final Trial area as we speak."

                "She'll die."

                "That is entirely up to her." The voice chuckled. "Don't you see what is staring you in the face Chiba? Don't you see the truth behind all these Trials?"

                "To prepare her for the day she takes the Throne." He recited bitterly.

                "That is what I want you to believe." The voice sounded triumphant. "Yet the key to all of this eludes you still. Fools."

                "Does she know?"

                "She does now."

'Look closer to home, instead of farther away' Hotaru's words burned Rei's mind. "What can she mean, closer to home?" she muttered as she threw dust into the fire. Speaking a brief prayer, she opened her eyes to see what really happened the night she conceived this child. The images she saw in the fire made her eyes well up with tears as she realized the truth. Wiping her eyes, she waited for rage to fill her at the deception, at the horror of what Yuuichirou had done – but it never came. Heading for the door, she realized that she would never have respect for Usagi, she would always hate and despise her, and now for the sake of her child, it was more urgent than ever that she take leadership of the Senshi. Yuuichirou would understand and be proud of her, and then…she would decide how best to dispatch him. 

                Usagi closed her eyes and waited, standing under a tree in the park – the site of so many attacks and battles, the site of so much emotional heartbreak.  "Nothing is to be gained by closing your eyes." A voice mocked from the trees. 

                Usagi opened her eyes, and knew she was surrounded. Her own mother stood in front of her, face twisted in sorrow and anger, Haruka herself was to her left in the trees, Artemis stood to her right, near the edge of the path, as two figures stood back in the shadows, waiting for their time. A shudder went through her as she prepared herself. '_Lo, I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. All I was to have thought, I have not though. All I was to have said, I have not said. All I was to have done, I have not done. I ask for nothing Goddess but to live these next few moments well.'_  "I am ready."

                "Then let us begin."

                Haruka launched herself out of the trees at Usagi, face twisted in a sneer startlingly similar to the one she had worn before swearing her allegiance to Usagi. Usagi nimbly dodged the attack, but was not fast enough to escape Artemis springing on her from behind and blinding her. Haruka torpedoed towards her again and lifted her by her throat, effectively strangling her. Artemis kept his white body over her eyes. "You're so weak." Haruka spat. "So weak and puny. Ineffectual you are." She shook Usagi like a rag. "How can you be the leader of your people when you can't even fight me? The test of brawn and strength, you fail miserably." She shook her head. "How can you fulfill the demands that will be asked of you should you have to lead your people to war?"

                Usagi's hands clawed at Haruka's firm grip as Artemis began to smother her. Spots danced before her eyes as breathing became an issue. One idea stuck in her mind as she went limp and deadweight. The cessation of her struggles and the sudden added weight of her body drug Haruka's arm to the ground where her grip on Usagi's throat loosened. With strength from who knows where, Usagi managed to use the last of her oxygen to tear Artemis off her face and throw him to the pavement as she drew in precious air and kicked Haruka hard enough in the ribs that she heard a crack. Faint applause came from the shadowed figures, as Haruka bared her teeth in a rictus of a smile. "I have fought before." Usagi snapped at Haruka.

                "And died. And caused nothing but suffering for your people and your warriors." Haruka retorted.

                "You yearn to be normal once more, never realizing that you were never normal." Artemis added. "You have always yearned for that which you cannot have."

                "And by so doing you have condemned your people to a hopeless life." Queen Serenity added sadly. "Do you know what it is like to be not dead, but not of the living and watch your people from year to year as their hope dwindles ever more? As they are made slaves by a tyrant who is jealous of them and hates them? Can you understand what it is to see their sickness and know that if you were alive you could help them, save them?"

                Usagi nodded. "I can understand all that." She coughed as Haruka landed a lucky blow to her midsection. Fighting hand to hand with Haruka while trying to discuss philosophy and politics with Artemis and her mother were dangerously distracting, as Usagi feared that she might not extricate herself from this.

                "Weak!" Haruka repeated as she threw a kick at Usagi's head. Usagi, deciding to ignore the other two, focused completely on Haruka and leapt out of her way, doing a graceful twist over her head. When she landed behind Haruka, she was there with her fist already halfway to Usagi's jaw and one knee to her groin.  With Usagi huddled over, the coup de grace was grabbing her in a headlock and punching her repeatedly on the crown of her head. "Worthless excuse for a Senshi! Undeserving to be leader! Good for nothing…"

                Familiar words Usagi heard, words that burned her heart and soul for she had been listening to them for centuries. The words of Rei poured out of the mouth of Haruka as a rage Usagi hadn't felt for some time burned through her. "No." she murmured. "No."

                "No?" Haruka mocked. "Little worthless Usagi girl going to fight back now? Going to pretend to play Sailor Moon and be strong and tough?"

                "NO!" Usagi screeched as she grabbed Haruka's body and threw her into the trunk of a tree. Not ready for this abrupt and unexpected attack, Haruka did not have time to regain her feet before Usagi was on her, kicking, biting, punching and throwing her violently. "No!" she cried through the entire thing. "I'm not worthless, I'm not!" 

                Blood poured freely from both of them, Haruka giving as good as she got. "Prove it. Prove that you are a warrior worth fighting beside."

                Usagi snarled, baring her teeth as she ferally tore into Haruka, a cornered animal with no way out. "You want proof that I am not worthless?" tears shone in her eyes as she turned to her mother. "I have watched for years the suffering of our people while I was kept safe and my heart bled." She spat vehemently as she fought Haruka, figuring out how to divide her attention. "I yearned for a better life, not for me but for them. I know all about yearning, it lives in my very being, in the deepest part of my soul, right there next to my darkness. I have the ability to be the Hope or the Destroyer and I yearned for it all to not be true, for someone to come along and make it better – but no one ever did."

                Haruka was panting now, her injuries slowing her down – as Usagi found herself winded. "As I am, I can do nothing to save the people, but in the future I can."

                "You have darkness within you." Queen Serenity pointed out. "And you will only add to the suffering of our people. They die, their prayers unanswered."

                "You have darkness within you mother." Usagi pointed out. "I have seen it on more than one occasion. As the moon has a light and dark side, so do we, its children. The people suffer only because they have forgotten to fight back – I can rectify that. I can save them."

                "Can you save yourself?" a shadowed voice mocked. 

                Haruka dropped to her knees. "I yield."

                Usagi caught herself mid-punch. "What?"

                "You have outfought me. Truly you are worthy to be a warrior, and to lead the people." Haruka said, head and eyes down. "Your brawn and fighting skills are first rate, your brains to evaluate the situation and think on your feet even better. Your Senshi are lucky, as are your people." Pulling herself to her feet, she headed over to a park bench and sat down, for all the world looking like she hadn't a care in the world – despite the bruises, cuts and broken bones.

                "How will you overcome the suffering and sickness that you yourself caused?" Queen Serenity asked abruptly.

                "If I have to go door to door and heal the people with my own hands, I will. The future is not set, their fate not sealed. As long as one heart still retains hope inside it, I am there."

                Queen Serenity tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Well done, and well answered. I taught you well." 

                "Mother…" Usagi reached for her as she went to sit next to Haruka.

                "Your yearning never ceases." Artemis spoke from the sidelines. "You yearn for her, you yearn for your court and the days when you were carefree and had not a care in the world."

                "Everyone yearns for something." Usagi pointed out. "The key is to not let those yearnings overcome your life and dictate all you do."

                Artemis bowed to her and headed to the bench. "You argue like a demagogue, and that is noble too."

                "Now that the kids are out of the way," one of the shadowed figures glided forward. "Things can get serious."

                Usagi's jaw dropped as she swallowed, blanching as she did so. Her second last Trial, and one she might lose as she faced her protagonist. Chibi Usa.

                Ami knocked on the door and smiled at a subdued Michiru. Assessing the situation she dropped the sealed bag not delicately on the floor. "She's gone?"

                "To take her final Trials."

                "Godspeed." Was her only comment. She cocked her head slightly. "Haruka, why do you look stunned? What has happened that I should be aware of?"

                "Do you want the condensed version or the movie length?" Michiru asked from the side where she prodded the bag with her toe. "Who's this?"

                "Luna. I was out cat-hunting and she just fell into my trap." Ami smirked. "Slow up Chibi Usa's plans a bit more."

                "Is that where you've been?" Motoki queried.

                "I had to find Artemis. I've figured out who's behind this thing and I wanted to tell Usagi."

                "She already knows." Makoto said in a monotone.

                "Not surprising." Ami said coolly. "She is, after all, the leader."

                "Will you tell us who is behind it Ami?" Makoto asked, hopeful.

                "That is for the Leader to do." Artemis interjected. 

                "I can give you a hint…" Ami said as she poured a glass of water. 

                "Anything! I can't figure it out!" Unazuki burst. "All the Senshi are present and accounted for, so it can't be one of you! Is it Seiya?"

                Ami shook her head. "It's not Seiya. If it was he'd have made his move to get Usagi after Mamoru left – where is he anyway?"

                "That is a story long in it's telling." Haruka said faintly, still in shock.

                "It's one of us." Ami finished. "One of her Senshi, but which one of us I will not say." She sat down with the others, "She might not even be aware of what she is doing." She clenched her hands around the glass and prayed that Usagi would return alive.

                "Hello Mother." Chibi Usa spat she walked towards Usagi. 

                For each step she took, Usagi took one backwards, unable and unwilling to let the child near her. The sight of her made her blood run cold and her mouth go dry. "Not you." She whispered. "Anyone but you."

                "Confrontation isn't your strong suit, is it?" Chibi Usa mocked. "Yet here I am, your daughter."

                "My daughter." Usagi mumbled.

                "Or am I?" a pause. "You've always wondered if Mamoru was faithful in the future – I know the truth. You've wondered what part of you and him came together to create me – I can tell you that. I can give you all the information you've ever wanted Mother." A smile. "If you give me what's rightfully mine."

                "My ginzuishou."

                "Your powers of deduction astound me. At least here I can eke out a bit of respect for you. In the future you are pitiful and worthless, a rag, a toy and one that my father walks over with every waking moment. You wonder why I don't respect you? I could never respect someone so spineless. I could never love you." Chibi Usa sneered.

                "I cannot hate you, even now." Usagi said, her voice catching.

                "Give me my ginzuishou and I'll tell you what you want to know." A hand outstretched.

                "What I want to know…" 

                "Just love me unconditionally, just do what I want, give me what I want as you always have. Turn a blind eye to my father and his transgressions and you will have what you truly yearn for in the palm of your hands." Chibi Usa stepped closer to Usagi. "Mama, I love you." She said, her voice turning soft and childish. 

                Usagi's arms went around Chibi Usa involuntarily. Yes, she plotted against her, had her thrown out from the Senshi, tried to seduce her own father and steal her ginzuishou…but she was her daughter. Her DAUGHTER. Usagi couldn't turn her back on that. "Oh my baby." She closed her eyes, her heart wrenching. 

                Fingers dancing to where her ginzuishou hung from her throat. "Mommy…"

                "Forgive me Small Lady." Usagi murmured into her soft pink hair.

                "Of course Mama. Forgive what?"

                Usagi wrenched the child from her as she lifted her ginzuishou and turned it to Chibi Usa. Casting a spell, a beam of light headed towards her, engulfing her, consuming her. "I care not for your answers." She said wretchedly. "And I cannot have a child in my midst who would commit matricide and incest. I condemn you Small Lady. I curse you."

                "You deal with direct threats in a very proper manner." Chibi Usa spoke from the light. "Not bad, all things considered. You have dealt with me in a Trial, but can you do the same in real life? Can you kill your own daughter?"

                "And turn yourself into me?" a smooth voice said from her shoulder.

                Usagi froze as she turned to her final foe, her final Trial before her and one that would kill her. She looked into the cruel and smiling face of herself.

                Is it totally obvious yet? To me it is. I hope you enjoyed and if you didn't figure it out this chapter – next chapter, the Final Trial, the revelation of who is behind it and Rei going after Yuuichirou. Should he die or not?

Serenitas


	23. I keep begging for more

            Hello all! Well this is the second last chapter of my greatest epic "Watch Me Shine!" I assure you that the last chapter NO ONE, not even my best friend knows, so it will be a surprise. Congrats to the six people who guessed whodunit last chapter, this chapter that person is revealed! And a memo to Sailor Russ…you scared me with your review, that's why I almost published this early! Hope you're happy now!

            Standard disclaimers, read, review but be kind. Flames will jammed into the first bodily orifice I come across and people just might not like that. 

            Make one last guess before you read, and then enter!

            The silence was tangible, tension corded through the room. Time drew out like a blade against the skin as the eager and the impatient waited in Usagi's apartment. Motoki and Unazuki talked in hushed voices, Ami patted Makoto on the shoulder. Makoto looked forlorn and lost, almost as if she had done something she'd regret. Michiru and Haruka paced the room, mirroring each other as they tried to bring the pieces together. Artemis yawned and twitched his tail as he kept vigil by the window. Outside, the world went on, life continued at its unabated pace. It was remarkable how those normal people down there had never known, never once suspected that they were in danger, that they had been saved time and time again by the greatest heart the world had ever known. They about their frivolous ways, in their immature and uncaring concerns – not knowing what true worry and true concern was.

            A knock at the door startled them out of their reverie as Haruka opened it. "What in the hell do YOU want?" she asked poisonously.

            An abashed Mamoru stood on the stoop, wanting to enter the apartment he had deserted in a self-righteous huff no more than six hours ago. "I want in."

            "Over my dead body." Haruka said resolutely.

            "I'm in this as deep as you are." Mamoru said calmly.

            Motoki smirked in the background. "Actually…you might have gone a little deeper than the rest of us."

            "You shut up!" Haruka snapped.

            "I've been here since the start, you can't get rid of me yet. I always come back."

"Like a rash." Ami said helpfully from the background.

"You shut up!" Mamoru glared at her. "You're not helping."

"Oh and I suppose your earlier actions helped endear you to me…how?" Haruka arched an eyebrow.

"Just let me in." Mamoru sighed. "I promise when she returns that I won't touch her."

"Oh I know that Mamoru." Haruka smiled unpleasantly. "And if you do, there will be a new cereal called 'Mangled Mamoru's – Free Fingerbone in every box.'"

Mamoru eyed the overprotective (and in his opinion – insane) Senshi of Uranus. "Fine." 

Haruka pointed to the couch. "Just sit down and shut up. Michiru…get a rope."

"You're not going to hang him?" Makoto asked, coming out of her daze.

"What a tempting thought." Haruka tilted her head and looked at him.

"'Ruka." Michiru said sternly. "Stringing him up is not going to help Usagi."

"Sad, but true." Haruka sighed.  She glanced at the clock. "I wish she'd come back."

"I hope she's still alive." Michiru murmured.

"We all do." Artemis sighed.

Rei crept through the jinja, silent as the shadows that lined the wall, lavender eyes burning with all the fires of Mars behind them. Yuuichirou sat innocently, listening to some music and reading a magazine, not once looking like a man who had defiled her. She slid the door open and touched his shoulder, making him jump. "Rei! You startled me!" he gasped, clutching his chest.

Sliding the door shut, she smiled. "Did I? I'm terribly sorry about that."

Yuuichirou was many things, but a fool was not one of them. He eyed the closed door sceptically. "Why are you here?"

Rei chuckled as she began to shed her clothing. "Why to give you willingly what you took from me earlier."

"Sorry?"

Rei shook her head. "Yuuichirou. YUUICHIROU, you silly, silly man. I know it was you that night, I know what you did and why you did it. I could commend you at any other time for your love of me – your worship of the incarnation of a deity. Of course I am worthy of it – however you DID throw a wrench into some rather delicate plans, and now the child I carry within me is yours."

"You're pregnant?" his eyes glowed. 

"Yes." Rei said simply. "Tonight I give you what you've always wanted, and in the light of day…well we'll decide that later. Won't we?"

Yuuichirou held out his arms to the only woman he had ever dared let himself love. "Rei."

And she went, sealing the door shut and casting a silencing spell around the room.

Usagi trembled as she faced her greatest fear, the one thing she had always dreaded. Herself. A nightmare version of her walked towards her, evil twisting her features. All of her Trials and all of her Tests has led up to this one final trial, this one moment. "So, here we are." Nightmare Usagi said idly. 

"Yes."

Nightmare Usagi smirked at her. "I can feel absolutely everything you do, and hear all your thoughts. You can't beat me and you know it."

"I wouldn't say that." Usagi said calmly.

"Courage…you have it in bucket loads." Nightmare spat. "Even that will not be enough to save you now."

"Is this another physical battle?" Usagi asked wearily. 

            "A tempting and desirable thought, but no." Nightmare stretched and paced. "They are gathering in your apartment as we speak, the innocent and the guilty. Rei…well she has another agenda, and your daughter is moving into checkmate right about…now."

            "Let's get it over with then." Usagi said bravely.

            "No, no, no, no, no Usagi." Nightmare said condescendingly. "Haven't you learned anything about yourself yet? You _love_ to draw out the torture, the pain and the tension. This has been a rollicking good ride hasn't it? And now that the climax is here you find you aren't ready for it."

            "I'm ready." Usagi said through gritted teeth.

            "What do you know of ready?" Nightmare turned to her. "For years I have watched you, been a part of you. I **am** you! You are not ready."

            "Try me."

            Nightmare closed her eyes and sighed. "You have seen what you are capable of, the depths to which you can sink. The question is…what will you do about it? How will you handle it?"

            Usagi pondered. "I will never be the Destroyer…I can't be."

            "You already are." Nightmare paused. "And you have also seen me. This is what power can do to you…intoxicating, isn't it?"

            "Revolting." Usagi sneered.

            "NOW you decide to get self righteous on me?" Nightmare looked sceptical. "You are just a simple creature, you know that?"

            "What the hell is this Trial?" Usagi burst. "I can't stand it!"

            "Yet you will, because you love to torture yourself, and I excel in causing pain." Nightmare walked closer to Usagi and put her hands on her shoulders. "Can you fight yourself…from within?"

            Before Usagi could reply Nightmare entered her, merged with her, became one with her. The battle for who was Tsukino Usagi raged, one will fighting the other, one desire warring against the primal urges of the other, the Destroyer battling the Hope. A soundless scream that shook the cosmos came out of Usagi's mouth as she contorted in pain and collapsed motionless on the ground.

            Hotaru and Minako paused, chills running down their spine. "That was Usagi's scream." Minako whispered, eyes wide.

            "It was." Hotaru agreed. "She's encountered her final Trial."

            "She sounded like she was in pain."

            "These Trials are not about hugs and puppies Minako." Hotaru pointed out. "They are testing her, preparing her."

            "Quick, let's get back to the apartment!" 

            As Minako took off in a run, Hotaru sighed and watched her go. "How cliché." She mused.

            "She's not doing well." Setsuna commented, appearing next to Hotaru. "And Chibi Usa is biding her time, like a spider sitting in the centre of her web.

            "Shall we run to the apartment like lemmings and await her return?"

            "Those who are ignorant want to know, those who do know want to know why." Setsuna smiled. "Shall we answer them Hotaru?"

            "I do believe we shall Setsuna." 

            "After you." Setsuna made a sweeping motion with her arms.

           "Oh no, after you."

            _Darkness surrounded her, interrupted by bursting pulses of light that blinded. Intense heat only to be abandoned to the most horrify of colds, mocking laughter replaced with terrible silence. Usagi wandered though a maze of corridors she had never seen, uncertain as to where she was, only that she was somewhere inside herself. 'What do I do now?' she thought, confused by this Trial, not knowing what was expected of her._

_            "What do you think?" Nightmare replied. "Do you kill me?"_

_            "And kill myself?"_

_            "Do you punish me?"_

_            "And punish myself?" Usagi shook her head. "Anything I do to you, I do to myself."_

_            "Yet you cannot avoid hurting yourself. Usagi, haven't you realized an obvious truth yet?"_

_            "Apparently not."_

_            "The entire world is driven by a Will, blind and ruthless."_

_            "I know that." Usagi snorted. "I learned it years ago."_

_            "Complete the catechism." Nightmare urged. "Complete it and see the answer. The answer to all of this has lain within you, it always has. Sitting right below the edge of consciousness. You want to defeat me? You know how." Nightmare paused. "But…might as well have some fun while you muddle it out." She smiled evilly and reached for Usagi._

_            Pain, pain such as Usagi had never felt coursed through her in waves. It pulsed like the corona of the sun; it burned like the fires of hell. Nightmare's touch made Usagi want death, caused her flesh to wither away from that familiar yet strange touch. "Are we having fun yet?" Nightmare murmured in her ear._

_            And Usagi could not break free. She couldn't harm Nightmare at all. She wanted nothing more than to kill her…or did she want to become her. The antithesis of herself held her in an unbreakable grip…what did Usagi want? Who **was** she? What was she? Nightmare had called her the Destroyer; she had been called the Hope. The question remained: who was Tsukino Usagi…not Sailor Moon, not the Moon Princess…her, Usagi – no titles, no powers, just her. Usagi recognized the battlefield now…it was her deepest essence. The birthplace of self recognition and consciousness, the home to all she had ever dreaded and wanted. Nightmare had chosen well – this place was a paradox._

_            It was the second or third time Usagi had been told the answers had lay inside her, as she thought of the words. "The entire world is driven by a Will, blind and ruthless." She recited._

_            "I already said that." Nightmare said idly._

_            Usagi ignored her and completed the litany. "In order to transcend the limitations of that world, we need to stop willing, stop desiring, stop hating."_

_            "You remember."_

_            Usagi's eyes widened as she completed the recitation. "Then you will see that true power does not come from others…it comes from yourself."1_

_            Nightmare applauded. "Congratulations, you figured it out."_

_            "The reason I have passed these Trials…"_

_            "Is because you wanted to."_

_            "The strength I've drawn on."_

_            "Came from within."_

_            "You are…"_

_            "I am Hope, you are the Destroyer. One cannot exist without the other. How then, will you defeat your other half?"_

_            Usagi smiled. "I won't."_

_            "Explain…or fail."_

_            "I cannot defeat you, nor can I move past you." _

_            "Correct."_

_            "There is no point in hating you, so, I will love you. I will accept you and I will always know that you are right below the surface. This isn't a Trial to defeat; this is a Trial to merge. We will merge together and create our own future together."_

_            Nightmare nodded. "Correct."_

_            "Then come to me." Usagi held out her arms. _

_            "You have passed all your Trials." A pause. "Now the final battle awaits, the last confrontation. Chibi Usa is waiting, the Senshi are waiting, and there is a sacrifice tonight that you must stop if you choose to. You have been moulded and forged and tempered in the forge of the Goddess, now you are pliable and ready for the Lady's Hands."_

            For the final time Nightmare embraced Usagi and the exquisite pain of the joining made Usagi black out.

            Out of everything that they were expecting, that they had come to expect, that they had learned, not a soul expected an unconscious Usagi to drop out of thin air, bruised, and battered yet wearing a smile. "Don't touch her!" Hotaru said sharply. 

            "Why not?" Minako asked, reaching for Usagi's face.

            "Let her come to on her own."

            Usagi's eyes snapped open as she surveyed the crowd in her living room – more people than her apartment had ever been meant to hold. Standing, she cleared her throat. "You are all gathered today to find out who is behind this entire thing."

            "Spare us the cheesy mystery/detective lines Usagi." Michiru groaned.

            Usagi giggled. "I couldn't resist."

            "Who is it? Who is it?" Minako practically screamed, dancing on her toes.

            "Minako, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet. All the clues were carefully laid, and only a few picked up on it. I'm tempted not to tell you. In fact, I don't think I will."

(A/N – wouldn't I be a bitch if I ended it right here? But… I promised…or did I…?)

            "Tell us!" Unazuki burst.

            "'Zuki! Ouch! Let go of my arm!" Motoki snapped, attempting to free her nails from his flesh.

            Usagi focused on someone in the room. "I understand why you did it. And I love you all the more for it."

            "I'm glad."

            Jaws dropped and eyes widened as all attention focused on the Outer Senshi who had spoken. 

            "So many thought it was Seiya."

            "It was not."

            "Many thought it was Chibi Usa or Rei."

            "It is not."

            "Some even figured on Neo-Queen Serenity."

            "She is trapped in the future."

            "The clues all laid had to do with timing and strength. The one who exists in solitude is the one who set this entire thing in motion. Hotaru, Setsuna, that leaves one of you."

            "It does." Hotaru agreed. "Have you figured it out?"

            "I figured it out six Trials ago." Usagi snorted.

            "Enough is enough Usagi!" Haruka warned. "Spit it out or I'll torture it out of you!"

            Usagi turned to her most enigmatic Senshi. "Shall you tell everyone why?"

            Setsuna nodded, a mysterious grin on her face as she reached out and touched Usagi's hand.

            1 – out of the Chinese philosophy of the Tao by Lao Ma.

            To be concluded….

            Tell me what you thought! Need reviews! See that little button to the left? Review! Review! Was it who you thought it was? Totally obvious? Anyone guess why yet?


	24. Watch Me Shine

            Well we have reached the conclusion, which has taken me two days to write. I have gone over many different formats for this ending – save the very last part that I had decided before I ever wrote chapter one. I do hope you enjoy it, as this has been an epic very dear to me. This is not just a journey about a fictional SM character, but indeed it has been about MY journey, from the time I left home, to what I went through in Japan, to my return. This story was inspired by the treatment I got at the hands of my coworkers in Japan, at the joy they took in my pain, at the delight they got in my tears. I was verbally attacked constantly; I would hide in the coat closet wishing for them to leave me alone. I was treated as a pariah, judged before I ever got there. One night, a night when I nearly broke, I heard the song that inspired this fic and I sat before my computer and began to write.  This is the story that formed. Each chapter is a different part of what I went through, every emotion is real, every emotion I have felt, and a different part of my life. In many places, Usagi is I, and now I have run out of ideas for this story, and it has to end. I could keep it going on forever – but every good author has to know when it is time for a story to end. This now, is the ending. I have debated doing a sequel, but that would depend wholly on interest of others.

            Thank you to all who have been my reviewers through this entire evolution. Thank you for sticking with me, for encouraging me and letting me know that you are there. You are the ones I wrote this for, and every review made me feel very special and good about myself. I give a huge call out to Minako, my dear, dear best friend who has endured all my rages, my ranting and my out and out lunacy.  This chapter is dedicated to each and every person who bothered to write me a review, either publicly or by email. I hope you enjoy this.

            Standard disclaimers. Flames will be used to roast liver that shall accompany my Chianti and fava beans. Please review! 

            Yuuichirou gasped as he arched his back, unable to believe the heights of pleasure that Rei had brought him to. As he collapsed against the futon, panting, he stared lovingly at the lavender-eyed woman whose expression was indeterminable. "Rei?" he ventured quietly, unwilling to break the sanctity of this moment.

            "Yuuichirou." She replied coldly.

            "That was incredible." He smiled and reached for her.

            Rei jerked away and fixed him with an unblinking stare. "It was alright Yuuichirou."

            He withdrew, stung. "Why did you come here tonight?" he asked abruptly.

            Rei stretched and began dressing herself. "I came here to kill you of course."

            "What?" his eyes widened as he beheld her beauty... her deadly beauty.

            "You ruined some very sensitive plans as I told you, you have meddled and interfered for the last time. Yes you do love me and worship me, as is my due; but the risk that you will get involved again is too great. You must die." She stated firmly, reaching inside her robes.

            Yuuichirou drew back against the wall as she pulled out the long bladed knife, it's silver elegance gleaming in the muted light. "You wouldn't." he breathed.

            "I would."

            "I love you."

            "I don't love you." 

            Usagi nodded to Setsuna who stretched elegantly. "I imagine you would like the tale of what has been going on."

            "If you wouldn't mind too terribly much, no." Haruka said sarcastically. "Why have you tortured Usagi like this?"

            "It was not torture." Usagi interjected. "It was never torture. It was testing. Rigorous and dangerous testing, but testing all the same."

            "WHY?" Minako wailed.

            Setsuna shot her an irritated look before clearing her throat and turning to the waiting group. "Sit, all of you, for the telling of this tale is long."

            "I trust you to do a good job." Usagi told her. "I shouldn't keep my daughter waiting."

            Mamoru stood. "I will go with you Usagi."

            "Why?" Makoto glanced up at him. "Haven't you hurt her enough? Why insist on going with her?"

            "Because." Mamoru began patiently, as if with a child. "She's going to kill my daughter."

            Chibi Usa waited. She plotted and she planned and now her plans would come to fruition. Neo-Queen Serenity **had** taught her daughter well, and Chibi Usa knew that the moment she sent out the signal, her erstwhile mother would come running to her side. Usagi could not handle confrontation, and she could not handle Chibi Usa. If Mamoru came – all the better since he would never allow Usagi to deny her anything. She waited, completely confident in the knowledge that Usagi **would** come, and she **would** cave. 

            Usagi would never see that she was walking into a trap.

            Usagi and Mamoru faced off against each other. One perfectly calm and amused, the other with fists clenched and angry. "I can't let you do that to her. She is _our_ daughter Usagi. Ours!"

            "She stopped being **my** daughter the first time she tried to kill me." Usagi said reasonably.

            "She is still mine!" he paused. "And so are you."

            Usagi drew herself up to her full height. "I belong to no one Chiba Mamoru, least of all you."

            "Hear hear!" Haruka cheered in the background. 

            "What I choose to do to one who has tried –several- times to kill me, who had turned my senshi against me, who claims to have rights to _my _throne and _my_ ginzuishou, who wants to bed _you_, her _father!_" Usagi made a disgusted face. "She has committed high treason, an offence punishable by death."

            "She is our…"

            "She is nothing!" Usagi snapped. "Listen and listen well Mamoru for this will be the one and only time I say it: She. Does. NOT. Exist. She is from a future that might have been – she is not from a concrete future. She gained power in _her_ timeline, in her world to come back to the most likely past that would achieve her ends. In my eyes, Chibi Usa is not my child, she does not exist and she is nothing more than a youma to me and that means she has to be eradicated."

            "I won't let you do it."

            "You can't stop me."

            "I can join and warn her."

            Luna snorted in the background. "She does not need you! She has all she needs at this moment! The Queen needs her loyal servants and that means me."

            Ami kicked Luna. "Sorry!" she smiled. "Blasted foot slipped again. Stupid twitch. Got it in battle years ago. I tend to kick stupid and moronic things…like you for example."

            Usagi glared at her former lover. "If you get in my way Mamoru, I will eliminate you as well. If you are not on my side, you are on hers, and if you think that I will shy away from confrontation like I used to, you are dead wrong. You want to see strength? Watch this." Usagi turned on her heel and slammed the door on the way out. 

            Mamoru made to go after her, but the Silence Glaive of Hotaru and the cruel look in her eyes stopped him short, giving Usagi a head start. "Make a move." Hotaru whispered, a smile spreading across her face.

            "Setsuna," Michiru said conversationally, breaking the tension that had grown ever deeper.

            "Michiru." Setsuna replied, letting out a quiet prayer for Usagi in the hopes that her final confrontation would bring her to the place they both knew she needed to be.

            "You must admit we've been very calm and understanding about these Trials."

            "True, you have."

            "And we haven't really demanded much of you."

            "No, you haven't."

            "Then would you mind telling us why the hell you did all this to Usagi? Why did you choose to ruin her life, have her cast out of her house, turn her Senshi against her and force her to undergo some of the most difficult Trials in existence?!" Michiru burst.

            Setsuna sighed. "The time has come to tell you everything. Usagi already knows, as does Hotaru."

            "Well the rest of us are quite in the dark." Artemis said crisply. "So if you wouldn't mind shedding some light…?"

            "Very well." Setsuna acquiesced. "I shall take you back to the beginning."

            _When the Goddess came and formed this Galaxy with her sisters, she created one planet for each aspect of her emotions and power. For these planets she created the Guardians, the Royal Families of each Planet – sworn for a lifetime to defend her descendents and keep the peace. However, the Goddess also knew that the temptation to breach the Dimensional Gates and change Time itself was great, and for that she created the final planet, cold and small, far away from the others and almost not part of this System at all. These people were bred to be aloof, to be enigmatic, to serve one purpose and one purpose only: Guardianship of the Gates of Time.  A sacred duty, performed only by those of the Royal Family – answerable to no one save the descendents of the Goddess herself, their primary duty was to keep the Royal Lunarian line pure. To ensure that… twelve Trials were created by the Guardians of Time, Death and Hope._

            _Thought to be unfair, to be cruel, to be far too demanding, they were designed for each potential Queen to take. Tailored to her personal needs and weaknesses, it was meant to weed out those who were unworthy or too weak to take the Throne. Once each Princess reaches a certain point in her powers, the Trials **must **be performed, regardless of age, to keep the line pure, to keep the line strong._

            I knew, once I saw how Usagi had handled Galaxia that the time was approaching. So, I had to start changing things, her family, her Senshi, her relationship. She had to have time to grow into the end product of who and what she would become and she has blossomed beautifully over this entire course. It has been painful to watch, it has hurt and I never wanted to hurt her, but my duty to the Goddess had to come before my loyalty to Usagi. As my Father made Queen Serenity undergo her Trials, so have I had to make Usagi undergo her own personal hells. Now she will deal with one who was never meant in this time, this place. How Chibi Usa got here I can only speculate, and should she defeat her…a new era shall be born. Crystal Tokyo will never happen, a new Age will."

            Setsuna finished her explanation. "I have only done my part of a sacred and ancient duty, and Usagi knows that. All choices have been hers and she could have refused at any time."

            "And if she had?" Makoto asked darkly. "You would have stripped her of her powers right?"

            "She would not have become Queen." Setsuna agreed. "After all, the Throne cannot go to one who cannot even face her own problems and demons. She would never be able to make any proper decisions, forever being swayed by anyone else."

            "So with Usagi being stubborn and showing her backbone…" Ami began.

            "She has proven herself worthy." Setsuna replied. "And to her I reaffirm my undying loyalty and for her I will give my life." She paused. "I have been with her since birth, and I will be with her until the end."

            "To the end." Hotaru piped up.

            "To the goddamned, bloody end." Haruka agreed.

            "Damn it!" Unazuki's curse broke the atmosphere that had fallen. "I want to be a Senshi too!"

            "What do we do now?" Michiru asked, standing.

            "We go to Usagi, and we wait."

            "The perfect plan." Motoki muttered.

            "Do you have any other ideas?" Artemis shot.

            Motoki shook his head mutely. 

            "Then do what we all do." Ami suggested. "Follow the light."

            Helios waited in shadows – his Maiden having communicated to him mind-to-mind. Her plan was sound, her reasons were just. He knew, even if his Maiden didn't that she didn't belong here and never had. It was his hatred for Mamoru that sent her here – to ruin his perfect relationship with that irritating Queen. With the help of a corrupt Pluto, they had pried open the sealed Gates behind the back of the Guardian Saturn, and sent Chibi Usa through, wiping her memory so she would have no idea of how she had gotten there. In her head they had implanted the idea that she had to get the ginzuishou, that it was hers and hers alone to save her mother. Once her mother had been saved, they kept that niggling desire inside her, letting her know that it would make all her desires come true and that she could have the one man she had always adored – her own father.

            Rather than be disgusted by the incestuous thoughts, Helios thought they were quite reasonable, for this timeline Mamoru was not her father, and therefore it would not be wrong. In his head, Mamoru would fall and he would take his proper place as King of Earth, with a Queen of his choosing at his side. The Chibi Usa that **would** have been born in this time was weak, simpering and far too loving. There was no cunning in her at all and Helios would not accept a wife like that. Tampering with time was something he was good at; after all, it was he who had caused all danger to ever happen to Mamoru, in a desire to kill his brother. 

            Footsteps drew ever nearer to his Maiden, and he permitted himself one wicked smile before crouching in place and waiting to pounce.

            Usagi said nothing as she faced Chibi Usa. No words were said, none were needed, and they both knew the truth of who and what they were and why they were there.  "Hello mother." She said in a faint mimic of one of Usagi's Trials. "I see you have survived. Pity."

            "I see that you are still as full of yourself as ever." Usagi replied emotionless.

            "Are you going to kill me now?" Chibi Usa asked in a mocking voice. "Mama? You will kill me, an innocent little girl whose only crime has ever been to love her Mommy and Daddy?" her voice changed to that of a small child.

            "Yes." Usagi said coldly, steeling her heart, reminding herself it was a trick. Always a trick.

            "Mama, why? Why do you want to hurt me?" 

            "I could ask the same question of you Small Lady." 

            At the sound of her old nickname, Chibi Usa's red eyes flashed dangerously as her head came up. "You have taken from me that which is mine! It is my inheritance and my birthright and I deserve it!"

            "You power hungry little fool." Usagi sneered. "Haven't you realized yet that it is not the ginzuishou that determines if you rule, it is the will of the people and always has been? If they had turned against my mother or me then we never would have kept the throne for as long as we have, the line would have died out, as mere anarchy would be released.  The people will never accept you, for you have committed treason, you have attempted matricide and you are just not a nice person Chibi Usa."

            "I will have it." 

            "You will not."

            "Then let us end this charade at last…Mother."

            Usagi closed her eyes, praying to her own Mother, praying to her future self and last of all praying for strength

            "This is getting good." Unazuki winked at the Senshi who turned at looked at her with the oddest expressions she had ever seen. "What?" she asked indignant. "It is!"

            "Should we take out horn-head?" Minako interjected, bouncing on her toes.

            "Be still and be silent!" Michiru barked at her. "Do not interfere, this is Usagi's fight."

            "She can't kill her!" Minako said, shaking her head. "She can't."

            "It is people like you who cause Usagi to fail." Haruka snapped. "Now, enough."

            "How shall I destroy you utterly and once and for all?" Chibi Usa mused. "Shall I do it with powers? Fists? Or have my future husband come and rape the hell out of you until you are broken?"

            Usagi said nothing, just observed her.

            "You see, I have figured out that while you might be able to handle a confrontation with me, you cannot handle one with him." 

            "With Helios?"

            "No." Chibi Usa smiled broadly and pointed behind Usagi. "Him."

            A chill went down Usagi's spine as she faced Mamoru, who bore a grim, yet resigned expression on his face. "I can't let you do it Usagi. She's my child, and I will save her."

            "Don't do this to me Mamoru." Usagi said in a harsh voice.

            "I must do what I must." He said simply. 

            "So must I. Why can't you understand that? Why have you never been able to understand that?"

            "You have a great and terrible power Tsukino Usagi, and you cannot control it. In the end you would have to be destroyed for you ARE the Destroyer."

            Usagi closed her eyes and bowed her head, the accusations striking her, echoing what her Nightmare self had said. 'Destroyer…' All her experiences, all her Trials raced through her mind like a fast forward video, everything she had ever said, everything she had ever thought, everything she had ever done slammed into her, coursed through her and left as abruptly as it came.

            She let a smile draw across her face. "Yes." She agreed. "I am."

            "At least you admit it." Mamoru sneered. "I knew it."

            "You know nothing!" Usagi fought her temper. "You don't know what I am the Destroyer of."

            "Come, come now Mother, Father." Chibi Usa sidled up between them. "Let us end this. Now."

            Two against one. Father and daughter versus Mother. Hatred and blindness against knowledge and love. All around them were the sounds of every day life, of people who had no idea what was about to happen, people who had no concern of all the troubles Tokyo had gone through. Usagi waited, fully prepared and ready for whatever they might throw at her. Setsuna had tested and trained her well, now Usagi would use those Trials, having learnt the lessons she needed to.

            Chibi Usa struck first, as Usagi knew she would. Taking the offensive she lunged at her mother, fingers curved into claws, grappling for the ginzuishou, letting her little crescent moon shine to break through any barriers that Usagi might throw up.

            Usagi blocked.

            Mamoru caught her as she was flung backwards, incredulousness spreading across his face. Never had he ever really thought that Usagi would fight the girl. "You are truly a sick person."

            "That is your opinion." Usagi said calmly.

            With a wail of anger, Chibi Usa launched herself out of Mamoru's arms and back at Usagi, light dancing in her hands. "It's MINE!"

            "It never was." Usagi told her softly, catching her. "You want it? Take it." She took the ginzuishou from the chain she wore it on around her throat and placed it in the outstretched hand of Chibi Usa.

            "She did not just do that. Did you see that?" Haruka babbled. "She did not just give that…cross eyed spawn of a dyslexic baboon the ginzuishou!"

            "She did." Michiru breathed.

            "Is she insane?"

            Helios pounced. He didn't know what Usagi was up to, only that it was bad. A pressure in his chest knocked him flat as he looked at the Guardian who had aided him in another time. "Setsuna." He said with an oily smile.

            "Helios." She replied.

            "If you help me, then together we can overcome Usagi and you can have your one true love."

            "You mistake me for another Guardian, one who was weak, one who was corrupt."

            "Are you not all the same?"

            "We are not."

            "It seems to me that you are." He pointed out.

            "Helios, I cannot kill you, that is outside my jurisdiction. But you must pay for what you have done, your meddling and interfering cannot be tolerated any longer." Setsuna sighed, swinging her Orb from side to side.

            "So what will you do to me?" he smirked. "You can't touch me."

            "I can't." Setsuna agreed. "But she can."

            Helios' jaw dropped.

            As soon as Chibi Usa's greedy fingers wrapped around the clear crystal of the ginzuishou, the light pulsed and pulsed ever brighter, ever warmer, ever closer. Her eyes widened as she met the calm gaze of Usagi. "I told you once child that the ginzuishou is sentient. It chooses its mistress, not you. It is not your birthright, for you are far too corrupt to handle the power. I never gave it to you because I wanted to save you."

            "And now?" Chibi Usa asked through gritted teeth.

            "And now I find I don't care."

            "Chibi Usa! Let it go!" Mamoru called as he ran to her and tried to unclench her fist.

            "The purity and light will destroy her Mamoru, I tried to warn you all."

            "You planned this from the start!"

            "I did not. When this all began, I had no idea that this would be the ending."

            "Make her let it go!" Mamoru pleaded. "You will destroy her!"

            "I will." Usagi agreed. 

            Chibi Usa stopped screaming, stopped wailing and stopped moving. She went limp and for a moment appeared to be nothing more than an innocent child. Usagi watched her carefully before turning.  "I cannot say that I am sorry."

            Mamoru choked, rage filling his heart. "How can you say that?"

            "She didn't." a voice spoke. "I did."

            "Did you know SHE was going to be here?"  
  


            "Do I look like I knew?"

            Usagi tilted her head slightly at her future self. "Neo-Queen Serenity."

            Serenity reached out and touched Usagi's face. "I'm so proud of you. So proud. You did what I could not. My child, I chased her here, and I chased her there but she was forever one step ahead of me. I tried to love her but she wouldn't let me, my husband having sucked all the life out of me, as I see that you, his past self are trying to do. I never understood that it was okay to be the Destroyer, I was far too concerned with being the Hope."

            Usagi nodded. "Chibi Usa…is she…?"

            "She is not dead, rather she is unconscious. Enough for me to take her back to my time and finally see her brought to justice. She, Pluto, Helios and my husband have a great deal to pay for. I will finally exert my authority as Queen. I have a long battle, a long fight ahead of me, but it will be worth it. I have watched you ever since Setsuna began the Trials and words cannot say how pleased I am with all you have done" Neo-Queen Serenity shook her head. "You have stepped off the path that was pre-ordained and made your own, playing by your own rules, not letting the flow of the Senshi make you choose a man you did not love – but chose because you didn't know any different."

            "Crystal Tokyo will never be." Usagi sighed.

            "No, that alone makes you the Destroyer. You destroyed the future of this earth with a few simple choices."

            "What will come about instead?"

            "A new Age." Serenity replied, fully ignoring Mamoru. "One you heralded in, one you created and one you will rule alone, with a man at your side or not. You have the ability to make choices Usagi and to change your future. Go ahead and do it."

            "What about Helios and Chibi Usa?"                           

            "They are coming with me." Serenity said firmly. "And you will find that Sailor Mars is awaiting judgement for attempting to kill an innocent."

            Usagi nodded.  Mamoru cleared his throat. "Well Usako, now that that has been cleared up…"

            Usagi raised a hand. "Do not finish that sentence Mamoru, and do not call me Usako. I meant what I said earlier and I will not back down on that choice."

            Mamoru opened his mouth only to be cut off. "I'd listen to her Mamoru, she is not me and will stand up to you." Neo-Queen Serenity said, amused. "Farewell then Usagi, you will do well and be the greatest out of all possible futures. I wish you well."

            "Good luck in your time." Usagi said, heartened. 

            "Go to Rei." Neo-Queen Serenity ordered gently. "And leave me to do what I must."

            "That was anti-climactic, wasn't it?"

            "When you consider how long this has gone on, I'd say it turned out for the best. There is nothing left to be done."

            "Very true."

            Rei was frozen in her spot, Yuuichirou waiting for her to strike. "I never believed Usagi when she told me of your endless cruelty. I was blinded by love. What a fool I was." He scoffed. 

            "Not a fool Yuuichirou, just ignorant."

            "Hello Usagi."

            "Rei always has been, and will always be power hungry and vengeful. As such, she is condemned. Once the child is born it will be given to you, the father, but Rei is imprisoned for life."

            "For what?" Rei sneered.

            "Pick one. Treason. Usurping." Usagi listed. "Take your pick."

            "Am I stripped of my powers?" 

            "That would be the obvious thing to do, wouldn't it?" Usagi mused. "No, I want you to live forever with the hope that someday you MIGHT escape and be free. Your child will be raised to be Sailor Mars – if it is a girl – or a Guardian if it is a boy, but you Hino Rei, are forsaken and condemned. Not one person alive will help you or take you in."

            The knife clattered from Rei's hand. Usagi had meted out a punishment worse than any she had ever given. To some it would seem that keeping Rei alive and letting her retain her powers was folly, but in truth it was the worst of all possible punishments – to have all her ability, all her power but never be free. To know that her life and essence would be chained and made to serve those who she had looked down upon. The mighty Hino Rei, the former shining star of the Senshi, the one who had overthrown her sworn leader and reached for the stars…for that brass ring…had been defeated without any blood being spilled, defeated by logic and intelligence.

            As a true leader knew was the answer.

            As Rei had always declared Usagi didn't have.

            Fire flared behind her eyes. "I will never, ever bow to you Usagi. I almost had it all!"

            "Almost." Usagi agreed. "However, you forgot one thing Rei."

            "And that would be what?"

            "I'm not your average type of girl…"

            "…and I'm going to show the world the strength in me that sometimes can't be seen." Neo Queen Serenity clenched her fist as she stood on the balcony of her Palace. The Moon Kingdom had been rebuilt on the Moon as the Platinum Age began, with her firmly in place as its monarch.  Peace and prosperity reigned in a way that it never would have had Crystal Tokyo occurred. There was no need for condescension between anyone from any planet. King Endymion ruled on Earth, protected by the Senshi and the Moon. Usagi had formed a Union with a nearby Galaxy, having made her choice, the only time she ever listened to her heart and put herself first…her husband…Seiya. With him by her side, two Systems had no reason bear animosity, no reason to hate, and no reason to fight. She ruled with compassion and an iron fist, often told by Setsuna that she was indeed the greatest of all Queens, a true grandchild of the Goddess.

            Her journey had been long and perilous, sometime difficult, always frustrating, but in the end she had created a Utopia, had formed a new world by herself. When people said her name, they pictured a woman made of steel, but soft underneath, standing in this exact pose, one fist clenched, her gown and hair billowing out behind her, watching her people, protecting them and keeping them safe. She had depended on no one, had no man by her side to lean on, it had been her unbreakable will, her acceptance of the Destroyer and the Hope, her love for her people. 

Her Senshi had happy lives, as Guardians, as Princesses, answerable to no one save her alone. Motoki and Unazuki had requested that Usagi take them off earth and make them part of her court. Having loved them so much, she had agreed – for they had given her a chance and believed in her when no one else had.

            Usagi turned her face to the stars, letting brief tears linger in her eyes for a moment as she thought of her mother, as she thought of her other self, and repeated the words that had pushed on through years of famine and despair. "Watch me shine."

            And they did.

**Here now, is the song that inspired this entire fic.**

Joanna Pacitti   
Watch Me Shine 
    
    Ooh..
    
    I'm not
    
    You average type
    
    Of girl
    
    I'm gonna show
    
    The world
    
    The strength in me
    
    That sometimes they can't see
    
    I'm about to
    
    Switch my style
    
    And soon things may get wild
    
    But I will prove
    
    I can conquer anything
    
    So from my head to toe
    
    I'm taking full control
    
    I'll make it on my own
    
    This time
    
    (Better watch me shine)
    
    CHORUS:
    
    Better watch out
    
    Going for the knockout
    
    And I won't stop
    
    Till I'm on top now
    
    Not gonna give up
    
    Until I get what's mine
    
    Better check that
    
    I'm about to upset
    
    And I'm glad now
    
    So you better step back
    
    I'm taking over
    
    So watch me shine
    
    So
    
    Get ready
    
    Here I come
    
    Until the job is done
    
    No time to waste
    
    There's nothing stopping me
    
    Oh
    
    But you don't hear me though
    
    So now it's time to show
    
    I'll prove I'm gonna be
    
    The best I can be
    
    So from my head to toe
    
    My mind body and soul
    
    I'm taking full control
    
    This time
    
    CHORUS:
    
    Better watch out
    
    Going for the knockout
    
    And I won't stop
    
    Till I'm on top now
    
    Not gonna give up
    
    Until I get what's mine
    
    Better check that
    
    I'm about to upset
    
    And I'm glad now
    
    So you better step back
    
    I'm taking over
    
    So watch me shine
    
    BRIDGE:
    
    Bet you don't think 
    
    I can take it
    
    But my mind and body
    
    Are strong
    
    Bet you don't think 
    
    I can make it
    
    It won't take long
    
    Bet you don't think 
    
    I can take it
    
    But my mind and body
    
    Are strong
    
    Bet you don't think 
    
    I can make it
    
    It won't take long
    
    Now watch me shine...
    
    CHORUS:
    
    Better watch out
    
    Going for the knockout
    
    And I won't stop
    
    Till I'm on top now
    
    Not gonna give up
    
    Until I get what's mine
    
    Better check that
    
    I'm about to upset
    
    And I'm glad now
    
    So you better step back
    
    I'm taking over
    
    So watch me shine
    
    Now watch me shine...
    
    CHORUS:
    
    Better watch out
    
    Going for the knockout
    
    And I won't stop
    
    Till I'm on top now
    
    Not gonna give up
    
    Until I get what's mine
    
    (Until I get what's mine...)
    
    Better check that
    
    I'm about to upset
    
    And I'm glad now
    
    So you better step back
    
    I'm taking over
    
    So watch me shine
    
    Watch me...
    
    Watch me shine...
    
    Watch me


End file.
